yeah @pondscumpasties - Tumblr Blog

the fun thing about having a mental health crashout in your thirties is that sure yeah you're crashing out, but at the same time there's a part of you standing across the room smoking ben affleck style, going yeah yeah you're crashing out. you crashed out before you will crash out again can we wrap this up yet. and the most annoying part about it is that they're right, and that that does Not stop you from crashing out even a little. love and light on planet earth.

magicratfingers

When I was in AA they said that the ‘higher power’ didn’t have to be religious necessarily, I just needed to believe in something greater than myself. The emphasis was also to believe in a higher power, so that we didn’t have to be our own greatest power.

I think faith as a concept can be really helpful outside of religion- in my mental health struggles, my faith in love, the world, and I guess everything else I consider my ‘higher power’ keeps me grounded. Having things you believe in is really important, and I don’t think I or most depressed people are familiar with that

sharing this with the class

pondscumpasties

I've thought before about how gratitude is so important, both in recovery and just for getting through life. And how religion sort of offers an obvious place to direct gratitude, an obvious recipient to elicit it. Like a religious person can thank god for a beautiful day, for the taste of an orange, for their good fortune in finding a loving spouse or catching their coffee before it spills. And I can and do feel gratitude for the good in my life, but it's so much more effortful and amorphous, and I have to decide to feel it for my own sake and to decide what it means.

so I give my gratitude to trees and birds, to the authors of my favorite books, to the river in my town, to the people I love. the higher powers i can find

turnupthestrobe

dragongirlsweetie

"vibes", also known as "internal biases",

cumdumpstiel

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

geekdawson

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have.

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation.

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying.

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age.

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse.

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships.

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery.

#hmmm #the same advice mae gave me 5 years ago

maniatown

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

kosmogrl

Dont blame yourself for not having known a lesson only time could teach

caspercryptid

The really unfortunate thing about mental health progress is that sometimes you realize you've made it in the form of "wow, I haven't felt this bad in a fucking while"

caspercryptid

On the one hand it's a bit of a pick me up in a dark place to know that this will pass because it has passed before on the other hand sometimes it isn't entirely a pleasant thought to go "wow, I used to feel like this all the time. That was pretty fucking bad. It's pretty bad right now too also."

caspercryptid

Someday your current baseline will be the sort of thing you consider A Really Bad Day. It does get better.

dailykafka

— July 21, 1913 / Franz Kafka diaries

#he's just like me fr

carys-the-ninth

"let me put this object some place obvious and inconvenient so im forced to deal with it" (grows around it like a tree root around a rock)

rabbitindisguise

#baby i can ignore elephants in the room in ways you cannot imagine.

#adhd

bluering8

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.