welcome, good friends!

I can see you are reading my bio.  Good for you.  You won't learn anything here, but I appriciate you anyway, so here's a cookie 🍪

[somecunttookmyurl]

god some of you are just so weird about having content on this site

"justify"?! babes it's a bullshit internet scrapbook not a fucking phd thesis

[ceekari]

You know the thing where you find something funny and you hold out your phone to your friend so they can see it too?

Reblogging is just you holding out your phone to show us the neat thing you found

[shofarsogood]

Some people: I won't reblog something unless it's deeply meaningful and I can contribute.

Me: time to reblog fifteen pictures of frogs, three pieces of fanart, twelve shitposts, and six political posts about somewhat niche issues!

[sisterofiris]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[yay855]

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

[rox-and-prose]

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

[watermite]

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

[xakumi]

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

[asortoflight]

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

[whisky-gerblin]

Reblogging for the last addition

[badgraph1csghost]

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

[badgraph1csghost]

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

[omnicat]

I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

[bucketbunny]

Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”

[sarumans]

i was very sick over new years and one day i woke up to find i had emailed my manager in the middle of the night:

she said it was the most beautiful sick email she’s ever gotten

[mandyseley]

had a similar situation that inspired one of my older comics. they absolutely gave me shit for it when I got back to the office.

[parakeet]

after careful investigation yeap its dirt.

[powerburial]

I genuinely know hundreds of things

[wizardarchetypes]

every time i look at something and i think i can't draw it i remind myself, well that's just shapes

[wizardarchetypes]

but do be aware that some shapes are more shaped than other shapes, and those can take practice

[wizardarchetypes]

had a good day with shapes today. wishing the same for everyone else

[rohirric-hunter]

We laugh at how The Art of War is basically just, "An army can't fight if the soldiers aren't eating," but I'm reading this document about conservation of ancient yew trees and it legitimately says, "You should never fill the center of a hollow yew with concrete," so I think that probably making blatantly obvious statements is just the bane of being a specialist in anything

[txttletale]

sorry for [remembering a tumblr post about expressing gratitude instead of apologising to make the interaction more positive for the other person] i mean thank you for having a boyfriend who was so easy to run over withmy car and reverse over three times maybe four

[nekosaws]

love a good diegetic music gag

[mollyjames]

Ah there's no subs, so I probably wont get the- nevermind that's hilarious

[segamascott]

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I seem to have accidentally stumbled onto Indeed For Creatures

[389]

[bewbin]

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

[2006-honda-civic]

can i fucking help you?

[cipheramnesia]

I sure hope so, I need to get to 3rd and Broadway in fifteen minutes, step on it.

[joeyclaire]

you are not an endearingly rude and unfriendly cartoon character you need to be nice to people

[paranormal-taters]

hang on i need to review my entire post history from all time and make sure i haven't said anything embarrassing

[paranormal-taters]

awful news guys

[b0nkcreat]

will be thinking about this probably for the rest of the week

[macklesufficient]

bird day bird day bird day bird day bird day bird day bird day bird day bird day bird day

[macklesufficient]

bird day bird day bird day

[dragongirlsweetie]

it sucks that the backrooms and by extent liminal spaces turned out the way they did in popular culture. i love dreamy places not because they're full of Scary Screatures or whatever but because they're fun and interesting and cool and a perfect place for a girl like me to lay her eggs

[dragongirlsweetie]

i could make a nest here it would be so good it's got the perfect amount of structural support for the strands of goo to connect up and hold together easily without collapsing and forming a cozy little den for me to sleep in. but all anyone cares about is booboo's playtime party friends

[foxxear]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but you are one of the Scary Screatures

[dragongirlsweetie]

i'm a cute girl and everyone loves me