How to be a better friend/ally to DID/OSDD systems
First! Some terms you should know
Alter: One of the people living in the brain of the person
Fronting: When one or more alter is controlling the body
Headspace: Where most alters go when they're not fronting
Dormant: When an alter is not active
Split: When a new alter forms
Polyfragmented: When a system splits very often
Switch: When one alters gives the front to a different one
The Body: The body that all the alters are sharing, the physical figure
ANP: Apparently Normal Part, an alter who does not have a connection to the trauma
EP: Emotional Part, an alter that does have connection to the trauma
Host: The alter(s) that front the most/Take care of daily tasks
Caretaker: An alter which will take care of other alters, primarily littles
Littles: Alters that are children, usually do not age with the body
Persecutor: Alters that harm themselves, the system, and/or the body
Gatekeeper: An alter that manages switches, so they dont happen at bad times
Firstly, please respect that we exist! If someone tells you that they're a system, don't dismiss them and say "that's such a rare disorder how could YOU have it"
Furthermore, don't say our trauma wasn't "bad enough" or that we don't "look like it"
Don't! Ask! About! Our! Trauma!!! It isn't tour business!! If they're open to sharing, you're free to let them, but we're not going to freely say it to everyone. Not to mention, many alters don't have memory of the events
Remember that we all have PTSD, in some form. We all could have triggers or flashbacks or,, anything. It can be hard, we aren't "overreacting"
YES the most known sign is alters, but it also comes with trauma, dissociation, and a whole load of other things. This is a complicated disorder.
Don't bring up the movie Split I beg of you
"What are alters?" alters are, to put it simply, an alternate state of consciousness. When we went through severe trauma, our brain couldn't handle the stress on its own. So it split into different parts. These different alters might front for different things- Managing daily life, holding trauma, etc.
"Why do only some of them have memory?" That's the point of the disorder! It's a coping mechanism. So in DID only the traumaholders will have memory, while ANPs will be able to function normally. In OSDD it's almost the same, but they still have memory of the event, just not an emotional connection. think of it like watching a movie. You're sad or disturbed, but it doesn't really effect you.
"Why do they all have different names/pronouns/genders/interests/etc.?" Because we're different people!!
Think of it this way: Each alter doesn't have memory/emotional connection to 100% of their life. Something that one alter went through just .. didn't happen to the others. So they have different lives completely
"Wait but then how do you talk to eachother/function in life?" Many ways! Some systems keep a journal that they all can write in, some have good internal communication (Usually in the headspace). Most systems will have a vote for changes to the body like haircuts, tattoos, etc.
Introjects can either be Factives or Fictives. A factive is an alter of a real person, a fictive is an alter of a fictional character
They! are! not! their! source! Don't see a fictive of your favorite character and gish about how much you love them or something like- It's weird.
Introjects are their own people! They can have triggers, interests, etc. that aren't seen in their source
Pseudomemories are primarily things that Introjects have- they're memories from their source that didn't happen irl.
Littles are children alters! They are a child.
Unless given permission by an adult alter, treat littles like how you would treat any other child their age
It's very common for littles to be traumaholders- especially for the "original" trauma. Just,, be nice.
If a system does not want you knowing about their littles dont ask about their littles
Actually, its a bit different. some dos and don'ts:
DO: Ask us whos fronting! Doesn't have to be every time you talk to us, but if there's a specific alter you want to talk to don't just assume
DON'T: Get angry at us when the alter you want to talk to isn't fronting. Switching can be hard for a multitude of reasons and honestly we're just trying to vibe
DO: Ask what pronouns to generally use, if they're out as a system, etc.
DO: ask questions! I'm always open to answering system-related things! :)
That's all for now! Feel free to add on
yousharknotpass
jacobvanloon
kianamaiart
andulkaphoto
germansingergirl
dailybridgerton
