[firebirdeternal]

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"

[escuerzoresucitado]

being escorted out of town

[terkaterr]

ah doing ma thing just like god int- (remembers im atheist) just like the universe intend- (remembers i don't believe in determinism) just like noone and nothing intended ever. doin ma thang fucking unpredictable style

[holdoncallfailed]

hey don't cry. canon lesbian aunt fritzi, ok?

[crazy56u]

Close, actually.

[closet-keys]

I think at bare minimum all medical professionals need to make sure they are treating patients with more kindness and respect than grifters. if you go to a doctor and they treat you like shit, humiliate you, and send you home without any information on your body or access to treatment, then health-grifters' offers will start to feel more tempting by simply giving the most basic performance of taking you seriously and caring about your well-being. grifters should be condemned for manipulating and exploiting sick people, and doctors also play a role in whether grifts thrive or are successfully identified and rejected. genuine baseline human respect, and beginning a relationship with a patient by earning (rather than demanding) trust, goes a long way.

[hockeydiva]

my collection

[cheaphalloweencostume]

today a lovely barista told me my shirt is “really witchy, whoa!” and he continued to talk to me almost reverently as if i might put a curse on him. he asked if i was on my way to anything and i was like “nope, just trying to get in some sunlight before returning to my nice dark AC-cooled apartment” and he nodded and went “it’s so important to commune with the earth and nature”

this is the shirt

[cheaphalloweencostume]

[instabilitylili]

I love you unwell elf girl

[instabilitylili]

I love you unwell elf girl (in manga form)

[wolfpuppymutt]

[chillyfeetsteak]

from this article, which is well worth the read, if only for the fun of seeing zuck get dunked on

[blumineck]

Be yourself as best you can whenever you can.

[dwinkus]

peasant visionary: & then it stood before me, a towering wheel of flame that beheld me with 10,000 shimmering eyes!

me: idk man it still sounds like an ocular migraine

peasant visionary: #MyGrain

[combustable-head]

Gothic literature must be cursed to forever be misinterpreted by mainstream public because how did this happen

Dracula book: an evil count who only sees the world as a resource to be drained for his own pleasure is stopped by the group of people who deeply care for each other

Dracula in media: a tragic romantic hero, main love interest of one of the protagonists who must be liberated from her dull little life

Frankenstein book: any human has capacity for evil when completely abandoned and shunned by the world and the people who brought him into it

Frankenstein in media: don't play God because it's against nature's laws

Jekyll and Hyde book: repression and only caring about external appearances can cause your worst impulses to indulge themselves in dangerous ways if ignored for too long

Jekyll and Hyde in media: what if there was two of the same guy but one of them was evil and gross?

[asteroidtroglodyte]

“I found myself remembering the day in kindergarten when the teachers showed us Dumbo, and I realized for the first time that all the kids in the class, even the bullies, rooted for Dumbo, against Dumbo's tormentors. Invariably they laughed and cheered, both when Dumbo succeeded and when bad things happened to his enemies. But they're you, I thought to myself. How did they not know? They didn't know. It was astounding, an astounding truth. Everyone thought they were Dumbo.”

-Elif Batuman

Dracula: I’m a powerful man who sees the world as nothing but a resource to be drained. My name is Executive Producer. This book is awesome but these Power Of Love idiots don’t understand how Cool and Relatable To Me Dracula is.

Frankenstein: I’m not a Bad Parent. It is the Children who are wrong, they should be more Grateful for the Harsh Lessons I teach them so that they’ll grow up to be Hard like me

Jekyll & Hyde: I run an Aesthetic blog where I pretend I’m a cutesy woodland creature. I’m Nice, I’m So Nice, you don’t even know how Nice I am. I call the police on teenagers loitering in parks

[bedupolker]

people who are like "but with universal healthcare you'll have to pay taxes!!! Up to 8%!!!" Are so funny. Like as opposed to the 16% of my gross paycheck that goes to private insurance, that won't cover shit unless i call my insurance company, then my doctor, then my pharmacy, then my doctor again because theyre pretty sure insurance got approved then my insurance company because they didn't get the letter, then my doctor again, then the pharmacy again, and then the copay i still am on the hook for.

[avelera]

I’m a big fan of reenactment archaeology. I think there’s a lot to be said for recreating a scenario to better understand decisions made in generations past. Usually there’s an inherent logic to them.

Which is to say, that now that I have a baby of my own, I understand so much better the common cultural practice in which unmarried women wear their hair loose and uncovered, while married women have their hair covered and/or bound back.

I doubt it was just for modesty, oh no. No, my friends, I see now that the reason for this common practice of mothers binding back their hair is because there is nothing, I mean nothing, a baby love more than YANKING EVERY STRAND OF HAIR THAT COMES WITHIN GRABBING DISTANCE OF THEIR STICKY, SWEATY, AND IMPOSSIBLY STRONG LITTLE HANDS.

[bethanydelleman]

It is necessary for my postpartum depression study for the moms to have their hair down (due to our science hats) and the second they put their hair down YANK

[rosieofcorona]

sometimes you can tell how much someone loves dragon age by how much they hate dragon age

[shittysorcerer]

[future-crab]

Imagine being Anais Mitchell and writing a song about the rhetoric of fascism so incisive and prescient that 10 years later an actual fascist would use that exact rhetoric down to the highly-specific phrasing in his presidential campaign. But also it took 10 years for the project you wrote that song for to move from living room shows to concept album to theater workshop to off-Broadway to Broadway, and its Broadway debut ended up coinciding with said fascist's successful bid for the presidency, and now it looks like your song that you wrote in 2005 is a super unsubtle reference to that one particular and highly-topical politician.

Frankly if I were her I would have started killing.

[cartoon-lizard]

[hbmmaster]

[the-goddess-of-annoying]

"How do I get out of Elmo's World?"

"Elmo doesn't know! :D"

"O-kay..."