🧝♀️ whether I’m an Enchanting Elven Dream Catalyst, or a Horrifying Eldritch Nightmare Adversary depends mostly on your attitude 🧝♀️
✨🦋✨
If I follow you back it will be under my main blog: @lily-leaves
🌷30s, she/they🌷
Call me Lily! I'm a queer nonbinary person in my 30s with a number of chronic illnesses and this is side blog but it's probably the one I use most often. It is run on a queue. You'll find things like:
Queer/LGBTQIA+ discourse and memes
Disability discourse and memes
Neurodivergence discourse and memes
Mental health tips and tricks and positivity
Aggressively hope-punk posts and calls for solidarity and coalition building
some USAmerican political bullshit (ie, specifically about legislation or politicians) and memes about the same
some political shit and awareness posts for other places
Tumblr Heritage Posts and other shitpost hilarity
General positivity posts, some cute animals and the occasional fandom post and shit, idk
I try to tag for common triggers but I do not always remember - if you have something specific you would like me to Always tag, send me an ask or a DM and I can add it to my list and I will do my best (ex: mushrooms)
I'm an adult and I don't curate this blog with minors in mind, but besides the gratuitous use of the word "fuck" and the occasional political vent post with an empty death threat, there won't really be anything here that would merit an R rating (except in Florida which doesn't want to admit that sex ed is important or that queer people Exist). So if you're a minor you're welcome to follow, but I probably won't follow you back.
For everyone I do follow back, it will be under my main blog: @lily-leaves
FAQ & tag explanation beneath the cut
My pronouns are she/her or they/them or any of the neutral neopronouns.
Current diagnoses include: POTS, chronic migraines, myoclonus, autism, adhd
If you don't want to see USAmerican bullshit block the tag: "usian bullshit" or block "politics" if you don't want to see any politics (incl international) but would like to still see other cursed americana and societal issues (I use "politics" for literal polices and legislation and politicians).
And there's a bunch of things in "activism" too, I tag ICE as "la migra", and I'm trying to tag anything that implies you Have To do something with "compiti" (Italian for "homework")
No I'm not go to stop using the word queer for myself and the rest of the queer community; if you don't like the word you're not in the community and that's why I have two tags, kthanks.
Other Tags:
Ask Lily: my asks
C'est Moi: selfie tag
Personal: self explanatory
Lore Drop: personal nonsense in the tags or on reblogs
Bun Chronicles: pictures and tales of my rabbits
Snek Chronicles: pictures of my kenyan sand boa
Get Therapized Nerd: me vaguing about being in therapy again
Frens: rl friends and people I met here but talk to a lot
Moot squad: moots I don't know outside of tumblr
Hellsite (affectionate): Tumblr community stuff and heritage posts
Tumblr bullshit: when staff is being awful, or tumblr is broken again
Positivity: peep this tag if you need a pick-me-up. See also "comfort", "hope-punk", and "good news"
Relationships: love in many forms (see also "polyamory" tag)
Indigenous Issues: this stuff rarely gets tagged "usian bullshit" or "politics" because it's bigger than that, and yes I'm Actually Indigenous despite my light skin. Enrolled Brothertown, also have Oneida and Ojibwe connections.
simply the fact that different body types for women go in and out of style throughout the decades should be enough to tell you that women’s bodies are considered consumable goods under capitalism
it's so crazy how every culture in the world has like baller recipes. soemtimes i think about people from 30000 years ago and how fucked up STUPID good their bbq must've been.... big ol rack of mammoth ribs rubbed with herbs and shit....... we have no idea how perfectly mammoth ribs over an open fire must've hit after a three day spearhunting expedition
I think one of the hardest things about recovery with BPD is that the healthier you get, the higher your expectations for yourself often become.
And somewhere along the way I think a lot of us stop noticing how much we’ve actually improved because the goalpost quietly keeps moving.
I’ve seen so many people with BPD talk about themselves like they’re failing recovery while describing levels of self-awareness, accountability and emotional reflection they never had years ago.
Sometimes people with BPD become so aware of every emotional mistake we still make that we stop noticing the ways we’ve improved.
Something I’ve been thinking about lately is that sometimes our feelings make complete sense even if our reaction didn’t. I think I've posted about this before, but I go back to things and I think they're important to talk about.
I think with BPD especially, people can end up hearing “your reaction wasn’t fair” and accidentally translate that into “you had no reason to feel that way.”
But those aren’t the same thing.
If a friend cancels plans and I feel hurt, disappointed, lonely or even abandoned, those feelings make sense. They came from somewhere.
That doesn’t automatically mean my friend hates me, doesn’t care about me or intended to hurt me. And it also doesn’t automatically mean lashing out would be fair.
I think recovery taught me that feelings deserve curiosity, not immediate obedience.
My feelings usually make sense. But they don’t always tell me what happened, and they don’t always tell me what action will help.
A huge fraction of people who are intersex are completely unaware that they are. So, in preparation for Pride Month:
Here are tons of signs that you're intersex:
You naturally have a large clitoris (numbers are complicated) or small phallus (<2.7 inches erect or <1.5 inches flaccid)
You have parts that look like an intermediate between a clitoris and a phallus (clitorophallus)
You do not have a clitorophallus at all (ie, no clitoris, no phallus; nothing)
Your urethra is lower or higher than usual (for phalluses: should be centered on top of the glans -- for vulvas: should have several millimeters of space between the clitoris, urethra, and vagina)
Your urethra is not externally visible
You have a penis or phallus with an opening between the base of phallus and anus.
You have a vulva without a vaginal opening, or have a small, easily irritated or nonelastic opening
You have a vulva with partially or completely fused labia (begins from the bottom of the vulva or from the clitoris - may have a webbed appearance rather than flush skin)
You have a penis with very small or undescended testes
You went through androgenizing puberty and have prominent breast tissue
You went through estrogeninizing puberty and have little to no breast tissue.
You went through both androgenizing and estrogenizing puberty
You never hit puberty, had very little development during puberty, or had a late onset puberty.
You have had imaging tests that show "missing," differently shaped, mixed, or otherwise unexpected internal genitalia.
You have had unexplained medical issues regarding sex traits or genitalia since childhood or adolescence.
You have any of the above signs and are struggling with fertility
Other family members display similar traits (note: this is *not* necessary as not all intersex variations are inherited)
You have had DNA testing and the karyotype came back with an unexpected result (ex: XX instead of XY, or an error message)
You have had high or low levels of sex hormones since puberty (it's okay if all you have are signs that they were high or low in childhood)
You have widespread body hair or any amount of facial hair alongside an estrogenizing puberty
You are experiencing androgenic alopecia and have close-to-female anatomy.
You are unable to grow body/facial hair and have close-to-male anatomy.
You have a very androgynous face, or your face passes as a different gender from your body (this one is Subjective and not indicative on its own)
You have unexplained scarring in the genitalia area. If this one is you, please get in touch with InterAct Advocates, Genital Autonomy, or online Intersex communities before you dig for info.
This is an extremely sensitive topic and may be traumatizing (CIMI / IGM). You also want to make sure what you've found are scars, instead of natural tissue - intersex bodies may develop extra tissue in some places (ex: vulvar hypospadias and hooding of the urethra)
Alright. That's all I got for now. If you're starting to question things now, it may feel scary at first, but you don't have to do it alone. The intersex community online has so many amazing resources and wonderful helpful people in it.
For some primers, check out InterAct Advocates! Happy almost Pride! I'm excited to celebrate with you with us <3
Do you think it's weird and/or predatory for a 13 year-old and a 30 year-old to be best friends if they're not family members or related by blood?
Assuming everything is innocent and platonic. Nothing romantic or sexual.
Yes, it's weird and predatory
It's weird. But not predatory
It's predatory. But not weird
No, it's not weird or predatory
Remaining time: 5 days 11 hours
*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).
The question is why the fuck is a thirty year old hanging out with a 13 year old if not in their family?? The only other relation that could have them interact is through teacher/student and bring friends like that would be weird as fuck
found family? the kid not feeling safe in their house? the adult wanting to help? family / teacher / school isn't always a guaranteed safe place. should the kid and adult each have friends that are their own age too? sure. but if their friendship is genuinely innocent then I think the problem isn't them but people who project their weird and predatory thoughts onto them
Something I really think needs noting is that this is very much a white people thing. I am always hearing people of color talk about aunties and uncles and mentors and elders who are not their blood relatives. These intergenerational bonds are absolutely critical to people's survival, particularly when you belong to a group that is treated violently simply for being who you are.
Systems of power have always relied on isolating people and turning them against each other. The current system we live under absolutely does not look out for or protect children, so it's absolutely critical that there be adults in reach that a child can trust outside their immediate family or authority structures. And it's just as critical that kids know how to find and connect with these people.
Elders are survivors. We have managed to live and even sometimes thrive in a world that has time and again made it clear that it doesn't want us to. We are proof of both a history and a future that young people desperately need right now. More than that, we can teach you how to survive and thrive, because we're living in that same world that still doesn't want you to.
your favorite(??) Whimsical Spoonie Fae had to get a lawyer to help in the divorce because my ex doesn't want to pay spousal support even though he makes $$$$, but of course that means right now I don't Have the money for a lawyer who will make him Give Me the money so I can like. Stay on my meds and not die?
Anyway. Chip in if you can & want to, reblogs help too, etc etc etc you know the drill. Every little bit helps & I appreciate anything, fr.
Mutual aid might not be the ideal solution (universal healthcare and universal basic income anyone???), but I used to send people my husband's money and when I've got money again I'll pay it forward as best I can 💙💜
*spotfund is the easiest place to create beautiful and free online fundraisers. It takes just minutes to start raising money today.
