Premoril

He/She/They/Any, just pick one and stick to it

[lickingandsuckingchristmascoins]

come over

[trangoldin]

American diet and "healthy living" culture is insane and runs DEEP

[jennamoran]

who the heck is eating dice, cards, and pool

[aniseandspearmint]

WHAT is the first one supposed to be? It looks like 'piecing between meals' to me, but that can't be what it says, right?

[prfury-lavaca]

It does in fact say “piecing between meals” and it refers to snacking

[prokopetz]

I'm more struck by the fact that the progression set forth here implies that laudanum and cocaine are less concerning that spicing your food.

[premoril]

Well, only if they’re going to be spicing them Mexicanly.

[prokopetz]

I love it when media fucks up the wording of the Rasputin disclaimer and ends up with shit like "any resemblance to people or locations living or dead is coincidental". I'd love to know what committing libel against a dead location would entail.

[abalidoth]

Fuck the Fiesta Mall in Mesa, AZ. I heard it ate someone once.

[probabilitydirigible]

this sea sucks shit. it doesnt even have any scrolls im sure

[prokopetz]

#Sorry what do you mean “rasputin disclaimer” (via @big-condiments-official)

For once I'm not actually doing a bit; those "any resemblance to real persons living or dead" disclaimers genuinely exist because of Rasputin.

(In brief, the 1932 MGM Studios film Rasputin and the Empress is a dramatisation of the life and times of Grigori Rasputin which is partially adapted from the personal memoirs of Felix Yusupov, one of the principal conspirators responsible for Rasputin's assassination. The film, which was heavily marketed as being based on real events, falsely claims that Rasputin fucked Yusupov's wife, Princess Irina Alexandrovna. As both Yusupov and Princess Irina were still alive at the time, they jointly sued MGM for libel – and won. This is actually, literally the reason the practice of including those disclaimers was taken up.)

[insomniac7809]

Ra Ra Rasputin Life adapted to the screen But doing so they slandered a prince Ra Ra Rasputin Felix hatched a legal scheme And MGM was thoroughly rinsed

[prokopetz]

Some people have stress dreams about being naked in public or their teeth falling out. I, apparently, have stress dreams about being obliged to transport a rolling office chair up an infinite flight of concrete stairs while a man dressed as a sexy Santa Claus makes snide remarks about my chair-transporting technique and regales me with bizarre and probably invented facts about the history of office furniture. At one point he claimed that Genghis Khan invented the gamer chair.

[i-fuck-bowling-pins]

Would it be overly familiar of me to succumb to my need to ask in what way Santa was sexy? Would that be too much?

[prokopetz]

Picture a chubby middle-aged DILF wearing what appears to be a cross between a shitty mall Santa costume and Tim Curry's getup from Muppet Treasure Island.

[nullen-void]

Is the Santa sitting in the chair, or just following you around loudly not helping?

[prokopetz]

It was a fairly broad staircase with a metal railing down the middle, and he was on the other side of the railing. I don't recall seeing him actually climb the stairs to keep pace, though – he was always just sort of there.

[premoril]

Well clearly he must have been riding a chair lift.

[cryptotheism]

i had a dream that involved multiple youtubers and tumblr users, which is weird. you werent there though.

who do you think was holding your penis to help you pee

[prokopetz]

I think there's value in occasionally stepping back and asking "am I actually nostalgic for [thing], or am I being tricked into interpreting familiarity as nostalgia by a content creation industry that wants to sell me nostalgia-driven retrospectives of things that happened last month?"

[premoril]

Are you nostalgic for experiencing The Thing or are you nostalgic for the point in time during which you would regularly be reminded The Thing exists alongside you

[prokopetz]

I was reading earlier today about how, in Scandinavian folklore, the nomenclature that's usually rendered as "ring" in modern English can variously refer to bracelets, armlets, or torcs as well as to finger rings. It's usually clear from context which is intended, though there are some legendary "rings" whose form is not specified in surviving accounts.

This ambiguity is, of course, not present in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings; though the work and its titular object are inspired by these sagas, the One Ring is clearly described as a finger ring. However, my brain has seized upon the finger-ring-or-bracelet ambiguity and spontaneously produced an anachronistic 1990s teen movie version of The Lord of the Rings in which the One "Ring" is a cursed slap bracelet.

[zan-taran]

This would make things harder for Frodo

[premoril]

Bilbo. The ring is still in your cargo pants.

[cryptotheism]

An image of an anime woman, drawn in a dispassionate hand. She holds an M79 grenade launcher, drawn with the serene reverence of a rabbi inking the Torah. Her boobs are almost out.

[cryptotheism]

I dreamed of a city built by the geometries of pornographic Twitter memes. I watched the sun set on cottages cut from pale limestone cliffs. Windows glowed where retired femboy hooters waiters unfurled grape leaves stuffed with lamb. Carved streets like the grooves of a record.

[cryptotheism]

You don't understand nothin

[prokopetz]

Concept: short story collection about a magic sword that was intended to guide the Chosen One in the hour of the world's doom, except the ancient whatsits that forged it misread the signs and deployed it about a thousand years early, and also they deliberately didn't include any way to turn it off again (what if the baddies figure it out, after all?), so it just spends the next several centuries jumping at apocalyptic false positives and sending random schmucks who coincidentally resemble the Chosen One on completely pointless quests.

[premoril]

By the time the actual apocalypse finally rolls around the sword-who-cried-end-of-days has become a ‘legend’ in its own right.

[savaralyn2]

Dungeon Meshi - Dryad soup bowl

[prokopetz]

Look, there's a reason a lot of classic 2D video games have two separate versions of all their pixel art in distinct "day" and "night" palettes. Throwing a solid blue or black overlay with 50% opacity on top of everything is workable for brief night scenes, but extended use makes everything muddy and unreadable, and if your tiles contain any light sources at all it looks weird as hell. If literally half your game is taking place at night, you've gotta bite the bullet and either do separate night versions of all your tiles or implement a proper shader.

[premoril]

So it’s like shooting day for night.