i missed writing so much. i haven’t done this in a while so take it easy on me (but call me out on my mistakes!)💛
a few weeks have passed and you personally haven’t heard from daniel. your son talked to him from time to time but he was giving you space. it was weird the first couple of nights. you kept expecting to feel him in bed beside you, kissing you goodnight, holding your arm so tight you couldn’t even think of leaving his side. in the mornings, you’d still make two cups of tea as if he were there. you’d tell thomas that one was for him. thomas. he’d been there since the beginning of you. he was an older man with wisdom that goes further than your fathers. he and mary looked after you constantly when your parents had important buisness to tend to. the both of them knew you like the back of their hands. you loved them like they were a second set of parents. you’ve never treated them like thier job titles. they weren’t servants, they were family. neither of them cared for daniel after a while. your mother didn’t either, obviously, but your father couldn’t see what they saw. that’s what’s been on your mind since then. your father went on like he hadn’t just found out that his daughter was being abused. your mother tended to you when she could but she’s still a queen. she was busy and whenever she wasn’t, she had treatments.
“you need sun light.” mary suggest, opening the curtains in your bedroom. thomas scoffs and closes them. the two of them argued like a married couple but they both lost their life partners when you were younger. one to divorce and the other to war.
“she needs to leave this bedroom for more than just tea.” thomas suggest, sitting in the chair across from your bed. mary comes and sits on the edge of your bed. you were sitting in the center of your bed with a cup of tea and a blanket wrapped around you. “besides, the party is tomorrow. you don’t want to go help with decor like usual?”
“and erik will be here.” mary cuts her eyes at you and then back at thomas who just shook his head.
“she isn’t worried about boys.”
“erik is no boy.” mary speaks, before taking her attention off of thomas and onto you. you couldn’t help but laugh at them. erik was the furthest thing for your mind but you definitely wanted to see him.
“no he isn’t. erik is...” you blush, looking down at your tea, “i’m not ready to be with another man.” you shrug, glancing away from your cup for a moment. “daniel was my everything for five years and i know it isn’t as long as you had Delaih..” you point to thomas, “or as long as you had Ade...” you glance at mary. “but i fell in love with daniel at a very vulnerable age. he was my first everything. i loved him. i love him.” your vision was blurred and you couldn’t control the sobs. “but erik— i see something in him. i have for a really long time. i want him to be the one but i also wanted daniel to be. i’m not sure what i want.” thomas was kneeling on the edge of your bed now. he had one of your hands in his and mary rubbed your back. you leaned into her touch, wanting nothing but a parental touch. “my son deserves so much. aboiye loves daniel. and erik.” at this point you were just thinking out loud. thinking about erik, about daniel, about your dad, and your aboye. “i’ll be Queen sooner that i would’ve hoped. i’m not saying i need a King, because i was raised to be independent, but it would be nice to have someone.”
you went on like this for what felt like forever, but was only an hour or so. mary and thomas had to get back to thier jobs and you were left alone once again. aboiye was doing his schooling and your parents were off ruling a kingdom. you sat out on your balcony watching the clouds swim in the sky. with as much as you had on your mind, you couldn’t make yourself talk about it anymore. so you sat alone.
“knock knock.” the voice sounded familiar, but you didn’t dare turn around. your mind was playing tricks. “okay. we can sit in silence if you want.” the voice speaks again as they sit in the chair across from you.
“what are you doing here?” you don’t look away from the sky as you speak.
“wakanda doesn’t need me right now, but i was told from a secret source that i was needed here.”
you scoff a little with a small smile. “aboiye.”
“ he said you needed a friend. he called all of us but i was closer and available.” you roll your eyes and look at him. he stared back at you. his brown eyes were soft for the first time. he wore tight clothing and you could see every scar. he still dressed like he was in america. that’s why he stuck out to you. he was his own person. even if he were king, he’d stlll be himself.
“daniel is gone. my heart and my brain are fighting over whether it’s a good thing or not.” he leans back in his chair, legs spread slightly and his hands in his lap. he wanted to listen but there was nothing you really wanted to say. you couldn’t tell if it was the depression or just him in general, but you wanted him. not sexually, but you would let it go there too at this point. “you know,” you say as you looked away. “daniel was the only man i’d ever been with.” eriks eyebrow lifted and you just stood, walking over to your bed.
“princess, you’re upset—“
“i just want to be held.” you interrupt, sitting on the edge. “just for a little while.”
he stood to his feet and walked over to you. he removed his shoes and flannel, eyeing you the whole time.
you lie down, your back facing him and he crawls in behind you, wrapping his muscular, scared arm around your waist. you could feel his breath on your neck and his chest against your back. his body heat warmed you. daniels touch never felt this safe. you never felt protected in his arms. with erik it felt right. perfect. safe. you cuddled into his touch and he gently squeezed you. your body tensed for a second and erik quickly released you.
“i’m fine.” you confirm, letting his arm wrap back around him. “i’m fine.”
“he can’t hurt you anymore, princess. you’re safe with me.”
you both ended up falling asleep and when aboiye made it back, he cuddled in with the two of you as well. it was comfortable. having your son in your arms while wrapped in someone else’s.. but the moment was over before you even realized it.
“our home.” you correct, wiping the sleep out of your eyes and moving around your father out into the hall. “i was going through some stuff and he’s decided to be there for me.” you shrug it off as if him being there wasn’t a big deal to you. it was a huge deal to the both of you but for totally opposing reasons.
“he’s an outsider..an imbicole, a traitor.” your father lists, throwing his hands in the air with each word. “he isn’t a king.” you roll your eyes, starting down the hall. your father instantly moved to stand in front of you.
“daniel wasn’t a king. daniel was also an outsider. he was not born here.” you remind him. you tried to stay as calm as possible. there was no way in hell you were going to purposefully disrespect your father.
“daniel did not try to take out his bloodline.”
“that was my past.” your eyes all went to the door. erik stood there, staring right at your father. his fist were balled up but his face remained calm. “i had my reasons, but i’ve discovered my family. i’ve been forgiven. now, i’m not lookin’ for your blessing or for your forgiveness because honestly,” he scoffs with a shrug, “i ain’t done nothing to you. but i don’t need anyone judging me. especially not you.”
“especially?” your father says, offended. he stood to his feet and you rushing over to erik. you couldn’t be upset at him for being upset. your father could be insensitive and judgmental. “y/n, i don’t want you seeing him.”
“and yet you were okay with her marrying—“ erik laughs.
“lets go get some air.” you suggest, glancing at your father then back up at erik. he still had his eyes fixed on your father as you grabbed his wrist, but eventually he began to follow you outside.
you stand in silence for a second.
“do you still hold that against me?” he questions, a low growl in his voice.
“what? no. i-“ you slightly step away from him—he noticed but you didn’t. it wasn’t from fear; it was just a natural reaction. “no, i don’t hold that against you.”
“i’ve wanted you since i first laid eyes on you. i’ve always put my past before what i could have with someone else but i’ve seen you and shuri. i’ve seen you with t’challa. you have to feel some type of way towards it.” he sits on a stair, staring out in front of him. you instantly sit on the one slightly above his. “be honest.”
“look, you had your reasons. t’challa and shuri were like siblings to me. shuri is still one of my closest friends, but i can’t hold your past against you.” your knees were on either side of him and your fingers played in his dreads. “they all forgave you so who am i not to?” he leans back so his head is against your stomach.
“you’re so much more than a friend, y/n.” he mumbles, staring out at the grass and mountains before you.
“i don’t want you to think i’m using you or—“
“but i’m not fully over daniel—“
“but you will be.” he cuts his eyes at you and you said nothing more about it. “you aren’t taking advantage of me, princess. i decided to come here. i’m not asking for your hand in marriage or anything but i want to be around for a while. i want to be there for aboiye. for you. for your mother. i want you. i know better, though. i’m not going to rush you into something. i came here to be a friend, so, let me be a friend.”
you noticed that he didn’t say anything about being king. that was all daniel ever talked about.
you weren’t sure of your feelings for anyone. life had taken a quick, awful turn and expected you to catch up. you wanted erik in your life and you wanted daniel in aboiyes.
you don’t say much else after that. erik received a phone call shortly after and made his way into the yard to talk on the phone. aboiye was keeping you company now.
“dads coming soon.” he says, holding his chin in his hands. “says he wants to see me. i told him i could meet him at the guest house.”
“the guest house? that’s almost a thirty minute walk. you guys can meet here.” you say, shaking your head.
“i don’t want to make you sad mum.” he stands and kicks a pebble out of his walking way. he looks over at you and then back down at the rocks.
“sad?” you pull him into your arms and hold him. he cuddled his face into your neck and wrapped his arms around your torso. “i’m never sad when you’re around, my love. you can see your father anytime you want.”
“he makes you happy.” you felt yourself tearing up. your emotions are constantly getting the best of you and although your son was your everything, and you felt you needed no one but him, erik did make you very happy.
“he does, baby. so do you.”
your father was in the ballroom whenever you found him. he had been helping your mother with the decorating and ordering people around like he does. you still hadn’t seen your mother but it would’ve been unusual if you had. your father, though, seemed to be around more often. he and your mother would stay in their bedroom for hours at a time or dance in the ballroom with no music whenever they were home.
“how’s it going so far?” you ask, stepping beside him, glancing toward him when you noticed his emotionless face.
“have you sent him back home?” he asks, not even trying to look at you. when he doesn’t get a response, he starts again. “if you wish to marry him, you can move to wakanda and live your life as you please. i won’t stop you, but you will not ever be queen. your mother won’t be here for long but i will not let him replace me. understood?”
i couldn’t figure out a way to end this part so🤦🏾♀️
tag list: @chaneajoyyy @hidden-treasures21 💛
