The Rats Have Unionized

22 | professional Fat Mean Dyke | one day god will silence me but until then I’m gonna get real weird with it |

[bigbigbigtruck]

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner

[theheartofdecember]

In the Late American Period, male celebrities used podcasts as a kind of purification rite intended to absolve past wrongdoing through the act of publicly confessing guilt.

[xalatath]

Everybody in the club Yield to my will

[nosimpincurly]

Not to brag but what a time to be childless

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

[butwhypants]

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

It's the last day of April

[my-little-bologna]

Wake up babe, new meta layer just dropped

[sanerontheinside]

I don’t know who needs to hear this

but it’s time to move the noodles to the pot

[lavenderpanic]

REAL 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[thicque]

saw this post in the wild so ofc i had to go to the link to see what the trainwreck would be like and oh my god

• $1570 per month and you're splitting that between 6 other people????? in a RENT CONTROLLED place????? there's no way all of them are employed. the top floor of a house is not costing $11000/mo even in San Francisco. the ""defector"" was absolutely covering hella costs.

• why does this read like fucking eugenics lmao

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[miaislying]

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

decay exists as an extant form of life

[miaislying]

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

[haystarlight]

THE ORIGINAL?!?!!!!!!!!;!!!!!!!!???

[sinnnnndiesel]

Sure, boss, I’d still be ya henchman if you was a woim

[horsesource]

"You can say that [orangutans] are not dependent on social support and approval, and if you admire this in them, that an orang is irredeemably his own person, 'the most poetic of the apes', researcher Lynn Miles told me once in an unguarded moments. What she had in mind was the difference between orangs and chimps in the way they carry on their discourse with the world.

Chimps are much admired for their tool use and for their problem-solving relationship with things as they find them...the orang is, let us say, not so replete with enterprise. Give an orangutan the hexagonal peg and the several shapes of hole, and then hide behind the two-way mirror and watch how he engages with the problem.

And watch and watch and watch--because he does not engage with the problem. He uses the peg to scratch his back, has a look-see at his right wrist, makes a half-hearted and soon abandoned attempt to use his fur as a macramé project, stares dreamily out the window if there is one and at nothing in particular if not, and the sun begins to set. (The sun will also set if you are observing a chimp, but the chimp is more amusing, so you are less likely to mark the moment in your notes. An orang observer has plenty of time to be a student of the vanities of sunset.)

You watch, and the orang dreams...when casually and as if thinking of something else, the orang slips the hexagonal peg into the hexagonal hole. And continues staring off dreamily."

Vicki Hearne, "The Case of the Disobedient Orangutans"

[magnesiumflare]

Important tags from @sashayed

[guooey]

[gayrika]

[aquatic-turquoise-deactivated20]

I read that as dual wedding and i had to

[sunnyslidetotheleft]

lets give them a proper skyrim marriage

[g-a-y-g-o-y-l-e]

i love how tumblr users play with jpegs like dolls

[chongoblog]

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

[chongoblog]

[chongoblog]

HAPPY BIG TWENTY NEIL

[hannah01sapphic]

I am actually so sick and tired of straight women complaining about WLW media and in the same breath overly sexualising MLM media. You aren’t an ally. You’re a fetishizer.

[lindleland]

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

[medievalsquire]

Squire Affirmations

I will not trip and fall down the stairs while carrying all of my knights armor again

The horses love me

I am not in love with the wizard apprentice

My knight appreciates my hard work

It is not my fault that my last three knights died horribly

[straightboyfriend]

mike’s hard bubble tea

[emeraldfoxface]

It’s just marbles