cosmo

wandering through the depths of the universe with my head in the clouds

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

i don't want enemies to lovers

i wan't childhood best friends to reluctant rivals to strangers to enemies to still craving each other but not being able to have each other to wanting to trust each other again to betrayal to forever damaged to hurting together to getting to know each other again platonically to trusting each other with their lives to healing together to exploring the possibility of a romantic relationship together

[wandanatsgirl]

Writing at night, because night brain is more emotional and editing it all during the day, because day brain thinks better

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

(platonic) moonwater in a muggle au where both regulus and remus have scars they're ashamed of.

mention of self harm / scars

regulus has little scars on his arms and his legs, a lot of them. they are the reason he always wears long sleeves, even in summer. he's ashamed of them because they make him feel weak (he has no idea how strong and brave he actually is because he keeps living). in a way, his parents did this to him, their words carved into his heart until he could no longer take it, until it was broken. he had to carve his skin instead so his heart wouldn't shatter. regulus takes responsibility for them, it's his flaw (his strength), his wrong-doing (his only way out).

remus has two long scars on his chest. they're the reason he's only shirtless around the people he truly trusts. he's ashamed of them because they make him feel different and like an imposter (they make him unique and beautiful). he did this himself, it was his choice to do the surgery and they bring him joy every day. he's afraid they will single him out if the wrong person sees them, that they will be his doom (they're the reason he's still alive). they're birthmarks of the wings he grew (metaphorically, they give him freedom). he hopes that someday he will be able to be openly proud about them.

remus finally trusting regulus enough to let his guard down so when they have a sleepover the next time, he takes his shirt off (he literally paid thousands of money to be able to do that). regulus looking at his chest in awe and aspiration, hoping he will get matching scars someday.

regulus finally trusting remus enough, putting on only a t-shirt when it's just the two of them in the middle of summer. remus being surprised at first but then quickly tracing every scar with his fingers, softly kissing them to show his love on those parts where he thinks regulus can't love himself enough.

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

i would make you orange muffins for breakfast but you aren't nerdy enough to understand.

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

i really like your username :D

thank you so much!!! (i actually am quite proud of it too because it means i was creative for once lmao) your pfp is really cute btw :3

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

:]

ahhhhhh hi :3 *blushes because they aren't used to being noticed by awesome people*

[themoonyandtosaturn]

i would buy a house in brazil for us and paint the shutters green and red because green is my favourite colour and red is yours

but you're not nerdy enough to understand

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

i'm the kind of aroace where i yearn for a deep relationship of some kind but feel like i'm not able to give or receive that kind of love. also, i've never met a real person i could ever imagine being in a relationship with, only fictional ones. and sometimes i'm like "fuck this allonormative world i can be happy without a partner" but then sometimes my yearning is so bad i almost cry.

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

sirius black

sirius black is like one of those antique greek sculptures. he is divine. his skin is marble. his cheekbones are perfection.

it's why he loves proving that he's better than anyone else. it's why he'll dare his friends to a race over and over again, looking back over his shoulder with a joyous grin while his friends are already tired annoyed.

it's why he can't stop. he doesn't see the lines he's not supposed to cross, closes his eyes before getting there and then jumps. it's why he'll try to save you but instead ruin your life, then look at you with big pleading eyes because he's not used to saying sorry.

it's why he never understood how the gender binary works, liking people based on their genitalia. it's why he'll fall in love with more than one person at once, worshipping each in the best way. it's why he'll love too hard, grieve too deep. it's why he allows himself to have all those feelings, not despite being a man but because men aren't inherently different than every other gender.

it's why he loves theater and dead languages and looking at the stars. it's why he'll talk with his friends for hours, exploring the depths of the universe together.

it's why he can never be truly happy. sure, there are good times in his life, laughs and love. but he was born with tragedy in his blood, and the gods won't show mercy just because people thinks he's divine. they didn't show mercy for achilles, icarus, phaethon either.

it's why hubris will be his downfall. fatal pride will be the reason for him to meet his maker. he always thought he was better than others, he knew. it's why he'll feel immortal when he isn't. it's why he'll die at the hands of his least favourite cousin, before the love of his life, because he was mocking her.

it's why remus lupin knew he would study art and history from the moment he met sirius. it's why everybody's eyes always lingered a moment too long on sirius, trying to take in the whole extent of his beauty.

sirius black's life is a story written before he was even born. the ancient greeks called him orion's dog, oh how right they were. they called him a star that would burn anyone who deserved it. and even though he didn't know, he was always destined to fulfill his destiny.

[emerbane]

i wish i was passionate about something anymore

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

it's like that 90% of the time and the other 10% i focus on one random project for a few days/weeks until it's "burnt out" and i have another unfinished project i will never dare to look at again lying under my bed

[freenowrightnow]

i like bartylus but rosekiller hits different knowing that barty spent a year pretending to be mad-eye moody

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

also i'd like to add that he kept the *real* moody locked in his trunk for a year and taught students how to kill, torture and control each other. didn't bring evan back but i feel like evan would have liked all that chaos devoted to him.

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

introduction

because i'm new here and nobody knows me, here's a little introduction post and maybe i can convince you to stay :3

pronouns are they/he but any neos are fine too

i'm nonbinary, transmasc, somehow on the aroace spec and kinda sapphic/lesbian (most of my labels are more about the vibe and not the completely accurate meaning)

i'm an aquarius (does that mean anything to you?) and infp

my fandoms and favorite characters are:

marauders (remus, regulus) -> main fandom, my favorite ships include moonwater, wolfstar, sunseeker, rosekiller, dorlene but i'm open for anything else :3

marvel (hunter, bobby, yelena, bucky)

the owl house (hunter, raine)

helluva boss (stolas, blitzø)

hazbin hotel (alastor, angel dust)

the amazing digital circus (jax, pomni)

how to train your dragon (hiccup, toothless)

osemanverse (darcy, tori, aled, georgia, tao)

hamilton (aaron burr sir, lafayette)

epic the musical (hermes, tiresias)

the dragon prince (terry, soren)

alea aquarius (cassaras, thea, ben)

brooklyn 99 (jake, doug judy, kevin)

the rookie (tim, nyla, wesley)

(there are probably more that i'm forgetting right now)

what you can expect from this blog:

random thoughts

writing prompts

weird takes on characters/ships/anything

long pauses (because inconsistencies are my thing and i'm also doing my a-levels right now, sorryyy)

probably fanfiction, if i ever can focus on one enough to finish it

if you're gonna stay here, that's really great, i'm looking forward to it :) the groundrules are simple, no queerphobia, racism, ableism or any of that, no support of knowingly bad people, no hating on shippings you don't like yourself (except it's stuff like incest, pedophilia, ...). it's fine to have different opinions and discuss them, just not when it's about basic morals :)

so, make yourself comfortable here, drink something (i know we're all dehydrated chronically online dirtbags!) and feel free to message me or comment on posts, i'll be looking forward to it!

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

writing prompt: starchaser but don't expect a happy ending because regulus is way too doomed

sirius running away from grimmauld place and leaving regulus behind sobbing

regulus feeling betrayed like never before because yeah, he's used to being hurt by his family, but not sirius, not his brother, not him ...

regulus coming up with a plan to take revenge, to hurt sirius in the worst possible way

regulus knowing that james always liked him a little more, not just as his best friend's little brother, no, he's seen the longing in his eyes

regulus giving in and getting together with james, kissing james while looking at sirius, just to see the hurt in his brother's eyes, the same hurt he felt when he was betrayed

regulus taking james, marking him as his own with little kisses all over his body, slowly taking what was dearest to sirius from him, slowly taking his best friend, drawing sirius into the shadows

then, regulus dumping james in the worst possible way, saying it's because of sirius, it's because sirius wouldn't want them to be together, hurting not only his brother but also james, because *that's* how sirius will feel the pain even more

and finally, after having destroyed sirius' and james' friendship, regulus asking himself if it was really worth it

regulus wondering why his heart still aches when his plan has worked so perfectly, regulus slowly realizing that while sirius and james might find each other again, he has lost not only a brother but a love forever

in summary, regulus subconsciously hurting himself over and over again because hurt is all he has ever known, it's where he grew up, and there's a certain comfort to it

regulus black

[writercultureis]

Writer culture is spending more time reblogging posts about writing than actually writing (guilty </3)

.

[obsessiveandbored]

I fear this is me

[probablydeadbutdefinitelygay]

Writing Prompts You Don't Need But I'll Give Them To You Anyway

i always have *great* ideas for stories but there are way too many of them and i can't write them all out, so i guess i'll write down the "concept" and maybe there's someone out there who takes on the task of actually bringing it to life.

my forever sweetheart and main fandom are the marauders, though i will probably write about marvel or other stuff too, who knows (not me, obviously)

this is gonna be very gay, that much i can say, the rest i don't know yet. if you have a problem with that, you should go (but this is tumblr so who am i kidding). so, yeah, so much of an introduction post that nobody will read, if you do, i will cherish you forever.

may the winds always be with you (because opposing wind sucks)