as if dnd needed more weird stuff

please stop doing that with the plot device

[tim-official]

ORC FACTS

the green color is not chlorophyll. they cannot usually photosynthesize. but sometimes they can

[the-orc]

my cousin lorbish can photosynthesize

[tim-official]

ORC FACTS

lorbish can photosynthesize

[marusketch]

Powerful witch with a low wage day job.

[viscericorde]

how a woman of taste prefers to practice necromancy

[viscericorde]

indulging in their favorite hobby of playing dress-up with the ancient lich who once laid waste to armies

[visenyaism]

Elf on the shelf where everything is the same except the elf is a 9-foot tall illidan stormrage

[swampgallows]

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

hey.. two people were asking about you… so i gave them your address and phone number… their names were Skeletal Warrior and Skeletal Ice Mage

[ashenmind]

[hardcorewhimsy]

Reddit u/mynameisfreddit 's fish, as seen on @ashenmind 's blog with @lefttobloom 's tag caption

[briannyssey]

Oh easy mistake. Yearning actually rises from the floor and longing hangs from the ceiling

[briannyssey]

🥺🥺

[prokopetz]

Trolling my biologist D&D player by sending the party on a quest to prevent the destruction of a mystical seal, and when they finally get there it quickly becomes clear that I'm actually describing a walrus.

[mathematikerin-freyja]

I think it would be really wonderful if seagulls were constructed more like bottles with a mystery inside. What I'm imagining is that were you to catch one, you could then unscrew its face and there would be a glowing gem nestled in some sort of socket. The Core of the Gull so to speak. Then you could swap that around with other seagulls, and after screwing the faces back on they would fly off as if nothing happened. Hm... Is this too esoteric, or do some of you see what I am getting at?

[threedollarsdotcom]

beating up a cactus for hurting my friend (ow) (ow) (ow) (ow

[beardaxemcbreadhobnob]

big fan of the way moles sit in dirt with their arms out like they’re in a hot tub

[beardaxemcbreadhobnob]

decadence….

[tlirsgender]

We need more women characters who are Male Protagonists. You know. Slightly haggard. She's splashing cold water on her face and gripping the edge of the sink staring in the mirror for a minute. She's coping badly with her deadwife

[hail-the-villainess]

There are many fun reasons to have a character avoid using guns, but I think "this otherwise-awesome fighter is a really terrible shot" is an underappreciated one. Yes, they're available in my setting and would work against my enemies. No, I don't have a moral code against them or a power that makes them redundant. I just can't aim for shit!

[hail-the-villainess]

In general IMO the more badass and hypercompetent a character is, the more they're enriched by having one skill they're just absolutely hopeless at. Terrible shot, terrible liar, terrible dancer, no poker face, no sense of direction, can't drive, can't swim, can't cook, can't read, always broke, always late, always falls for a certain trick...

[unification]

happy birthday america. just one bite of hamburger would begin to degrade my body. much respect

[unification]

such a beautiful, generous people

[girlnephew]

like the idea of unnaturally aged cheese. making my gouda old using dread magics forbidden by the college of sorcery

[abalidoth]

this cheese was aged by sending it to the beach that makes you old

[romanceyourdemons]

the great thing about the wuxia genre is you can start a sect called the Evil Blood Cult in a place called Demon Mountain that’s a volcano full of poison and you all wear crazy gothic black and red hanfu and practice Sinister Backstabber Style kung fu and like. that’s not a deterrent to prospective disciples. do all that and a fuckton of bright eyed youngsters will still show up at your door and say hello i would like to join the demon mountain evil blood cult where do i sign up?

[deep-green-existentialist]

Lockheed Martin was at my college's job fair