welcome to random

all the interesting things.

[alnitaks]

starry.eyed.stitcher

[vitariesocks]

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

[vitariesocks]

2 pics. no caption

[ari-larsen]

had an epiphany

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[zkyeline]

The good health brothers

>>>

[zkyeline]

The self-care sisters

>>>

[semusepsu]

One of my favorite things about Put Baby In Pelican Mouth is that not only does the pelican have the intelligence necessary to speak human language but also knows how to lie, suggesting it has a theory of mind, yet not enough to understand that no one is going to put baby in pelican mouth.

[gallusrostromegalus]

To be entirely fair to the pelican, I have seen humans do much, much dumber things with their infants. The park rangers in Louisiana ha e to regularly tell people to not put their babies on the ground next to the gators for a pic.

In fact, it could be argued that the peculiar grammar used by the pelican in the Put Baby In Pelican Mouth post is deliberate, like how phishers use major grammar errors in their messages so that people too smart for the scam (or smart enough to report them) ignore the emails and the scammer can focus on the most likely marks.

Regardless, the pelican is right: there is absolutely someone dumb enough to put a baby in its mouth because it asked politely. Probably dozens on that beach alone.

[kyraneko]

Put baby in pelican mouth for Instagram photo. Facebook photo of baby in pelican mouth for many likes and also happy asleep baby. So cute baby in pelican mouth for video on TikTok. Youtube short of baby so cute in soft pelican mouth for so many views to Youtube channel. Baby in pelican mouth challenge.

[aaronstveit]

the only documented case of anyone ever ACTUALLY having a gay agenda was george blagden on the set of les mis 2012

[philcollinsenjoyer]

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

imagine moaning the name cliff in bed

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

oh my god cliff! right there!

[rumwik]

Strange haunted photo where Winifred looks like she's a painting

[needs-more-hugs]

I have placed her in a more fitting setting

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

For the first time in my tenure on tumblr, it's "THAT'S A PHOTOGRAPH?" and not "THAT'S AN OIL PAINTING?"

[viralfrog]

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

[rudycooperarchives-deactivated2]

what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND STRAIGHT

[bythefrickens-deactivated201208]

[bocchan]

#it’s been done

[hikari-yumi]

[aceattorneyheritageposts]

Thanks for this addition omfg that is hilarious

[t4timekeeper]

not providing the scene in question is a crime

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[upmala]

“It is ill-advised to dip your feet in the bog, no matter how hot the day has been… yet some do it anyway.”

slurp (2024)

[toast-the-unknowing]

the bad news: I now hate my current wip and strongly believe there isn't a single joke in it that lands

the good news: I know my process enough to recognize this as the slump that I hit in everything I write when it's like three-quarters-ish done

the bad news: the only way out is through

the good news: I do know the way out!

the bad news: yeah but it's through

[toast-the-unknowing]

making a cross stitch that says "I am funny and he would fucking say that" to hang directly above my monitor

[toast-the-unknowing]

"hey toast you stayed up past midnight because you were working on the fic and not because you were procrastinating by making a hideous pattern for a joke cross stitch" have you never met a writer before

[toast-the-unknowing]

gonna tell my kids this was live laugh love

[conarcoin]

neopets forum posts i reference all the time but nobody gets

[conarcoin]

here are some more really good neoboards screenshots

[hellyesbro]

how could you forget