I am HEAVILY cursed and I blame 13 year old me
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@psychedelic-but-fab
I am HEAVILY cursed and I blame 13 year old me
Someone just used the phrase âballs deep in a panic attackâ aka my new catch phrase
are you worried
About what? But yeah
by Denny Bitte
tbh 95% of my existence on this earth involves me accidentally running into things in my house and saying âouchâ in the most deadpan voice possible
my mom: âyouâre like a roomba except you donât cleanâ
Today our rescue became an anatomically correct heart.
my friend: [needs comfort]
me: oh Dang what are the Comfort Words
me: *flipping through the manual* there there?
my friend: *cries harder*
me: oh No they were the wrong Comfort Words
Here you go, all the Comfort Words
me: fIGHT ME (àžïžĄâ-âïž )àž
me: *is afraid to ask people for help at stores* *stutters when ordering take out* *runs as fast as i can out of a room after i shut the lights off in case the shadow monsters try to get me* *will refuse to go back into a room after seeing a spider until i know for a fact it is gone*Â
I mean how can you not love Mads Mikkelsen. He
met his wife while playing a drag queen
spent the whole âClash of the Titansâ clusterfuck trolling Sam Worthington
gives zero fucks about societyâs expectation of what famous actors should behave like
can wear the shit out of a suit, but prefers sportswear
knows he is made of cheekbones. accepts it. uses it to his advantage
went into dancing to score with dancers, stayed with it, went into acting after; two zero-guarantee careers right here and he made them work
is always, always nice to fans.Â
ships hannigram harder than Bryan Fuller.
is so fucking talented. seriously. SO fucking talented. heâs a fucking national treasure in Denmark.
threw serious shade at Lars Von Trier, and it was amazing.
also, he
has never seen a Star Wars movie and didnât even realize how big being in one would be.
also probably had no idea how big a Marvel movie would be.
still went with doing both because he got really well paid got to do air kung-fu and shit.
joined one of the most highly anticipated video games ever without understanding anything about the plot and/or video games.Â
went salsa dancing with his Hannibal co-stars, director, and showrunner, despite saying he doesnât dance in public anymore.
did a Con and got drunk with a bunch of furries.
also got onstage with a screamo band (during the same Con?) and shot toilet paper at the pit.
wears every flower crown heâs ever been given. itâs like a thing. sometimes wears two at the same time.
once wore a pink ârosĂ© over bitchesâ sweatshirt while completely smashed and it was great.
proudly played the âBitchâ in Rihannaâs Bitch Better Have My Money video and didnât get why it was such a big deal.
avoided major injury in a crash where he was sent flying from his motorcycle but managed to flip in midair and land perfectly on his feet.
Mads Mikkelsen is a centuries old immortal that doesnât quite grasp the modern concept of celebrity, in this essay I will
me: alright, iâve got a few hours to myself. should i read, write, draw, play some video gamesâŠ
executive dysfunction: youâre going to scroll through tumblr until you have to go to sleep
executive dysfunction: youâre not even going to like it.
Today the Department of Unexpected Interspecies Friendship is going hiking gorgeous Colorado landscapes with Henry the dog and Baloo the cat. Both adopted from animals shelters, they live with humans, Cynthia Bennett and her boyfriend, who are avid hikers. Even as a 14-week-old puppy, Henry immediately wanted to join in on their hikes.
âI think we only had him for three days when we took him on our first hike, which was to Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs,â Bennett said. âHe found the steepest, tallest rock around, and he ran up to the top of it to look over the edge.â
Baloo joined the family just a few months ago and immediately bonded with Henry.
The moment Baloo met Henry, he loved him â he wanted to play with Henry and snuggle with him. Not only that, but Baloo refused to be left behind when Henry went out for a hike.âIf I touch Henryâs leash, [Baloo] will start screaming at the door,â Bennett said. âHeâs very vocal.â
Since Baloo was so eager to go outside with Henry, Bennett set about harness training him, but Baloo immediately took to being outdoors and on a leash and now he goes anywhere Henry goes. All their adventures are shared.
âHeâs definitely not the kind of cat we can leave home alone on the weekend anymore,â she added. âI think he thinks heâs more a dog than anything.â
Follow Henry and Baloo on Instagram to keep up with their latest outdoor adventures together.
[via dyt. and the dodo]
@gallusrostromegalus
This is DELIGHTFUL, and I hope to run into them someday.