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[psychestew]

It never fails to amaze me how beauty can triumph over the oppressive will to standardize the…

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[psychestew]

Passion With Teeth

Berkley Passion Flower Walking the streets of Berkley I came across this perfectly inviting flower so I had to have a picture.  Looking at it closer later did I see the teeth at the heart of it all.  Every rose has a thorn and passions bite.

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[psychestew]

Life Always Finds A Way

Look closely at the middle nest….someone is home. I’m in a parking lot waiting for an email and when I got out I heard a cacophony of birds.  I looked up and saw these nests.  At first I thought it was wasps….not a fan.  Too my delight, I realized they were birds nests.  The building is still new, and i wondered if they used to nest in the trees that used yo be here.  It just proves life always…

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[psychestew]

Stitch & Resist

Today we meet to work with our individual moral fibers (crochet, knit, crosstitch) in an effort to create community to build resistance for the current amoral political climate. This is my “leftovers” gathered into one ball.  Once it gets to big for the basket I get to make a monster blanket.  I’m normally do a 100 row granny square, this time I’m going to do a different 100 row…

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[psychestew]

The Dark Days Are Over...

Let the terror begin. Okay, melodramatic, I know. Good news; I got a job. The fear of never being wanted or hire-able or useful for the rest of my life is waning. That doesn’t mean I won’t get fired again, or I won’t stick my foot in my mouth. I’d like to believe I have learned the lessons of my past. Now my brain is tripping over the fear that I’ve forgotten how to draw blood. That I’m not…

[psychestew]

As If & I Don't Care

I was meandering through a journal entry yesterday. (Meandering is like a mash-up of free writing about a specific subject and stream-of-consciousness writing.) I wrote something that was both new and not new to me but I recognize it as my new norm. I was discussing the efficacy and practice of a mantra for love and worthiness. I have come to the decision it doesn’t matter what I thing/feel/see…

[psychestew]

AI Image of Me

I asked the AI generator to do a picture of me based on my Chinese zodiac and my favorite hobby….this is what I got. It definitely got the amount of yarn right…..

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[psychestew]

Granny Squared

A city made of granny squares…..what a cozy place to live. My phone updated and I found an AI Image generator. I wanted to see what a world made of granny squares would look like. Just thinking about all that yarn just makes me soooooo happy.

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[psychestew]

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Dreams show us how to find meaning in our lives, how to fulfill our own destiny, how to realize the greater potential of life within us.” Marie-Louise Von Franz in The Way of the Dream Early this morning I dreamed a dream where I was trying to explain to someone what it is like when you are drowning in a depressive episode. Even when you know what it is, that it will pass, and you will be okay…

[psychestew]

Thriving In Action

This is my mission statement for 2026: One of my action items to prove to myself I’m thriving was to have quarterly get-your-ass-out-of-the-house things to do. My first one was Between the Lines. A play in Castro Valley, CA which was directed by a coworker at One Medical. It was a sweet story of a girl trying to fit in and the characters in a book who were refusing to let that happen. It was a…

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[psychestew]

The Consequence of Truth

So, I got new insurance after the old insurance took out a pound of flesh from my credit card (thank you congress for not supporting the ACA) and once I finally got things settled I found a doctor and made and appointment for the first available. They ask questions like: Do you have thoughts of harming yourself? Do you think of suicide? Do you feel hopeless? Now because of my honesty, I’ve had…

[psychestew]

A Different Perspective

Foxglove I love foxglove, and not just because its poisonous, it’s beautiful.  I don’t like how the flowers trumpet down and I wanted to see from the other end.  I found it exhilarating.  Sometimes being upside-down is more blessing than trial.

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[psychestew]

Exetential Angst...

…thy name is anxiety.  I don’t know if I’m in a full-blown crisis yet, but naming your demons is the first step in taming them.

[psychestew]

A Little Green A Day

Saturday (April 25) was the celebration for Earth Day (April 22). It was attached to the city’s farmers market. I will admit, it took me a minute to get my courage up to start talking to people. My anxiety has been higher the past few weeks. By higher, I mean thinking about supplementing it with vitamin X with my daily social meds. I didn’t. I just focus my mind on other things and try to…

[psychestew]

I Protest Two

Today was No Kings III. For a small town (like under 100,000…I think) we had a mighty force of courageous and outraged citizens demonstrating. I worked mostly at the membership table. I know I can talk to people if there is something between me and them….a table, a bar on the chair, even glasses. That’s not saying I like doing it, but I know I can do it if it’s needed. I held a sign for about 30…

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[psychestew]

Health & Healing

The loss of my job in January was bad enough, but it was insult to injury after I got the message from my states ACA program that my insurance premiums were going up by 160%+. It worked out to be what I managed to scrape together and save from refinancing my only tangible asset, changing my insurance and phone coverage. I wasn’t worried. I began to believe the fear mongering by the press about…

[psychestew]

Doom Scrolling

We all do it. Someone sends you a cute video of (insert favorite subject here) and then you swipe up to see what’s next and then it’s three in the morning . By then you’re all tangled up in knots because the terrifying truths from your favorite influencers have enraged you and then your gears get stripped by a cockatoo tap dancing along with a Fred Astaire movie. (@jackson_huhniverses) And you…