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@psyychokitten
shivering, choking, unraveling on your bathroom floor
Psychosis and schizo spec experiences are messy, and complicated, and often don't fit the societal narratives.
Many psychotic people have experiences that look like symtoms of other disorders, and strict categorization and separation between symptoms and disorders often don't take schizospec and psychotic people's experiences into account.
Schizophrenia, as an example, is commonly classified as a neurodevelopmental illness, and comes with a range of experiences of neurodivergency that do not neatly fit into any one box/neurotype, yet can be both very disabling and very profound. Similarly, most schizospec people are prone to dissociation, and there's an overlap between plural people and psychotic communities.
For this reason and others, I'm not a fan of separatism in the neurodivergent community, which too often targets psychotics, by focusing on proving that this or that group is not "crazy" like "those people".
Occasionally this takes on some insidious forms within the different communities, where "deviant experiences" of odd symtoms that don't align neatly with the narrative of the associated disorder, are dismissed as fake, problematic, harmful - occasionally as ableist in and of themselves. This narrative is actively harmful to psychotic people.
I'm not a fan of arguments that hinge on the notion that large numbers of people are lying or mistaken about their lived experience, and sincerely, as someone who has read an unreasonable amount of research throughout my studies, psychological science is interesting, and useful, but it is never exact, and it is full of biases, blind spots and bullshit science hidden behind statistics and overreaching conclusions. Pointing out bad research is not "anti science", it is in fact pro science. I am a scientist.
I consciously reject the notion that the diagnostic manuals are anything more than a semi competent attempt at making a comprehensive classification of symptoms. This doesn't mean that these constructs aren't hugely influential, or that they don't describe real symtoms, but it is important for Mad and Neurodivergent activism to move beyond this reductive understanding of mental diversity.
So while I'm happy to provide info on the definitions of various disorders etc, because it has real world applications, I am more interested in what we all have in common, and in finding solidarity across diagnostic borders.
In the end, my solidarity is with the weird kids. The quiet ones, the fucked up ones, the ones who don't feel like they belong or fit anywhere. With symtoms and experiences and diagnoses like an ill-fitting set of clothes.
I want to fight the stigma, but I don't want to fight it by assimilation. It is not our job to be "normal" or "easy to understand and categorize".
I want radical inclusiveness, and I want it now. I want the judgement of harmless odd behaviours to stop, I want the mental health communities to stop fighting each other and throwing each other under the bus in the name of being palatable.
We don't have to be palatable to be worthy. We don't have to fit into a neat little box to be taken seriously. We are all deserving of non-judgemental love and support.
Our goal should not be to be neurotypical, it should be to live happy and fulfilling lives within the circumstances we were dealt.
Us psychotic weirdos need better options than to be monsters, or to be invisible.
One thing about autistic people is we love squares
Grids. Cubes. Cubes on a grid? Now you're talking
Some autistic people like orbs though. And that's the difference between a mad scientist and a wizard
Now what about those of us that are Triangle Autists? Wild magic out here
YEAAAAHHHH WE DONE IT
WE GOT THE FUNNY NUMBER LADS!!!
YEAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
My ass: what's so funny about 3442?
I’m Manly Man, the Super Rich and Famous. Son of Robby.
I’m Eternally Radiant Baby
I’m field in the west, collection of stars in the night sky, a forest.
I am Born of the the Yew Tree, who Lives Near the Ash Tree, A Flower With Many Petals and Thorns
godgiven shoemaker
Blond Leper, Protector of Men
I am Pure, the Desired, Maker of Horse-Drawn Carriages
Princess of the Earth who is Very Warlike.
That’s leaving out the middle name – no one knows what it means.
Sparkling Warrior
Pure Morning Farm
I sound like a brand a giant conglomerate would make for their supposedly organic food range.
My God Is Abundance God Has Favoured Me Uncertain Meaning But Possibly Bitter Or Beloved Lives Near A Hill Or Barrier
I think I broke it.
Full of Grace, Bitter, Little Raven or Little Crow
Princess and Famous Warrior, Constructor of Walls.
I am the Lady of the Moon, the gods’ own Oath, the Li’l Dark One.
…(Probably it’d be smart to) Fear me.
(At least until I’ve had my tea.)
wise protector, supplanter/usurper, from the rose valley
Pure favored moneymaker.
If only that were true…
Strong, Capable - Dark Water - Intelligent Warrior
scabs by ashley blanton / bloodshot by julien baker
“Possessed.”
— Lorine Niedecker, from “[I rose from marsh mud]”
@archaeis
recognition of the self through the other
This dude said any time you put expectations on your life you reduce the compassion and appreciation you’ll have for the experiences you live and though this is something I already knew on an intuitive level, to hear someone else say it has me burrowing into its truth like a sinkhole
that boy is a monster.
I have been thinking of the ways we tell people things. My father's hands shake, but he holds the phone up so I can watch the video from six feet away. My mother emails me the recipe of her beef stroganoff at 6 in the morning with the comment - woke up and didn't want to forget to do this! On the highway, we sing so loudly my voice grows hoarse; on the beach I sneak nice rocks into people's hands so they have something to hold, on the floor we all sit quietly in the same agreeable silence. We are all saying the same thing.
My friends say "Oh you know, keeping busy." This means they are having a hard time but making themselves survive it. I ask them to help me walk me dog; this is me telling them it's okay sometimes to just be present and talk about young adult fiction. When I cancel again because I can't get out of bed, she tells me she's on her way with cookies.
I point out the sunset. She shares her fork before I ask for it. He calls me at 1 AM just because I'm on the road alone, we talk about stupid shit. She waits for me to get indoors safely before driving away. He says - nah, forget it, I'm happy to do it for free.
People are saying it, you know? They say it often and loudly. Sometimes, you know - you just have to be listening.