Punklebutter Churn

Punklebutter. Thirty-something.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

I love how these are from an Unreality subreddit but to my eye they just read like regular Tumblr shitposts. Did we cross-pollinate or something

[dramatic-dolphin]

some of my favorites

[catasters]

[mini-wrants]

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

[kaity--did]

Are you sure Penny doesn't just think "birthday" is a synonym for "party"? Because it's starting to sound that way.

She for sure thinks birthday = party with cake and singing and candles

And wedding = party with a bigger cake with dancing and kissing

[l3thalp3tal]

[prokopetz]

Thoughts on the schism?

"The Society of Saint Pius X pulled some excommunication-worthy fuckshit" is basically any given Wednesday. The only mildly surprising thing is that it took the Vatican this long to pull the trigger!

[rlyehtaxidermist]

I do think that the funniest way to respond to schismatics whose core complaint is that your institution is changing too quickly is to take nearly 40 years to openly declare them schismatics.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Schism? Schism today?

[langernameohnebedeutung]

🍿

[turuin]

Wow, I didn't have "catholic schism" on my 2026 bingo card

[mygogglesdosomething]

Schism today

[parsleysagerosemarytimemachine]

3. Finally, the holy People of God are warned that the sacred ministers of the Priestly Fraternity of Saint Pius X administer the sacraments illicitly, and that the sacrament of penance administered by them and marriages assisted by them are invalid.

https://www.vaticannews.va/en/vatican-city/news/2026-07/holy-see-decrees-excommunication-lefebrians-consecrations.html

Chicago Pope says 'fix your heart or die outside the Church'

[superdaisypowerhour]

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

Stuck in a historical war

You are stuck as a soldier in this historical war

(this is a magical universe where people who wouldn't usually be able to fight would. so you can all suffer.)

How are you doing?

good somehow

I might survive

OW

dead

results/other

Remaining time: 1 day 9 hours

[omg-saberkitsune]

[bgm05]

[vixvigil]

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

[thememedaddy]

[paladin-n-cleric]

what are you wearing rn and is it representative of your style

[thethirdromana]

The worst types of cookbook:

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.

[thethirdromana]

#the overachiever: make this very time consuming ingredient from scratch even though it'll end up tasting worse than store bought

Amen to this @akasanata. "Now make your puff pastry from scratch". How about no❤️

[pankendev]

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

[tjalexandernyc]

I went to my local wine shop, purchased a mid range bottle of champagne, put it on the top shelf of the fridge to chill, and will open it when it happens. And every day I open the fridge and see that bottle I will remember it might happen today, or it might not. But it will definitely happen some day.

[finnglas]

In my fridge, in the door, is a bottle of the same bubbly my sister in law bought my spouse and me for our wedding. It’s queer branded, wrapped in a rainbow, and it is For The Occasion. Sometimes I touch the bottle and hope really, really hard.

[adelphicoracle]

Every time I go through the wine shop at the local fancy grocery I eyeball the champagne. Hard.

I don’t have my Bottle For The Occasion yet, but I am inspired by your excellent examples, and will go ahead and procure one.

[finnglas]

And I’d like to add, because I am always conscious that some people do not partake of the spirits, that if you are looking for a non-alcoholic alternative to champagne that still feels fancy, Martinelli’s sparkling juice is delicious and comes in very pretty bottles and looks good in a champagne flute.

[tjalexandernyc]

and your thing doesn't have to be a drink of any kind at ALL you can have some nice thing you're waiting to crack open to celebrate when it happens, whatever totem you want. it's just nice to have a physical reminder around the house that death comes for us all you know?