gr8

bear | 28 | been here since 2013 lol

[dyatlovpassingprivilege]

hunk of parmesan: i'm getting so small! 😁 keep going! i wonder if i can get even smaller 😯

microplane, getting more and more delirious with lust as my knuckles get closer to it: he's ruight

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[minotauri]

sources say there are muscles in the back of my neck. and they want to kill me

[ca314159bara]

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

[jewfrogs]

kids were roleplaying with minecraft figurines and one of them had their figure go up to the other and say “i’m in love with you” and the other one replied “sword slash to the chest. and you’re on fire”

[randomfae]

[myothertardisisonthemun]

[jasmineiros]

[shitswiftiessay]

also, its sister tweet:

[dandalfthe-gay-deactivated20251]

How could you forget:

[galacticism]

[slushi-chan]

Had to add this gem

[gay-jewish-bucky]

I can't believe you forgot the best gale tweet

[fishingboatproceeds]

Your persistence is admirable tumblr but even with this godawfully ugly update i can still edit john greens posts. So once again. suck my dick

[midiport]

im going to explode in the kiln

[bisexualhunterbiden]

I need to remember that 90% of the people discussing politics on here are basically operating at this level of historical literacy.

[thancbread]

i love this reply in particular

[penandinkprincess]

parenting commitment level 3000

[penandinkprincess]

apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

[starsarefairylightsfornerds]

[aqueerkettleofish]

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

[averagejoey2000]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

well damn . egg on my face

[dingdongyouarewrong]

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

[averagejoey2000]

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

[averagejoey2000]

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

[averagejoey2000]

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

[averagejoey2000]

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

[speedlimit15]

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

[speedlimit15]

Of all the tags on this post this is the one that worries me most

[storm-of-feathers]

speaking of volcanology i am at my LIMIT with people thinking that yellowstone is "overdue". Its not fucking pregnant. if it ever erupts again we'll have decades if not centuries of warning. whenever theres "increased activity" there it means something vibrated a bit more or something.

and while we're on it the eruptions happening rn are also not out of the ordinary. what kilauea is doing is not a cause for alarm. volcanoes erupt all the time its a part of our planet I am losing my mind

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

They aborted the Yellowstone super eruption because of woke

[storm-of-feathers]

this is true

[hotvampireadjacent]

[brightereyes]

(observes you)

[brightereyes]

(you behave like a particle)

[justcallmespike-deactivated2022]

(behaves like a wave while you’re not looking)

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[dib]

i ca;nt bleiev clowns r real.;;; wha tthe fuck….

[zim]

DID YOU JUST DISCOVER MIRRORS?

[dib]

SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!