little blob seeking out love

she/her, glitter in a dumpster fire, do not mistake for a functional adult

[pixelartpeach]

“You can’t consume problematic media!”

Maybe YOU can’t. I, on the other hand, have critical thinking skills and a lot of spite

[pixelartpeach]

I am also incredibly sexy

[wrender]

[purgatori]

wow i would really love to just Not, for a while

[aw-dag]

You know every show that the premise is like “people find out ghosts/monsters/demons are real and are charged with stopping them” appeal to me way more now as a post-graduate not because I believe in ghosts more or whatever but because can you IMAGINE just being handed a job that you don’t even need to apply for? Like just being told “basically there’s this bad thing and all you do is make sure it doesn’t do what it wants” that’s just customer service baby and I worked that for 6 goddamn years! Just TRY getting past “I have a job to offer you” before I can jump down your throat agreeing.

[aw-dag]

some idiot with a dumb ghost-hunting name who joined the Cause because they love the paranormal: oh fuck oh shit this is really scary guys I’m having second thoughts

me, who knows that if we run away I have to apply to like, a real actual Jobbe again: wakey wakey demons it’s this or retail so guess who’s got nothing to lose

[meret118]

[frodo-sam]

I know that having a good heart is very important.

KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE ‘魔女の宅急便’ (1989) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

[whitepeopletwitter]

Networking advice

[sae-something]

A lot of people with childhood trauma (and, from my experience, especially attachment trauma) find themselves yearning for a parent figure. A mother, a savior - someone to hold you and love you in all the ways you needed when you were a child. Someone to hold you while you break into a million pieces.

At some point in recovery/therapy you will have to face the harsh reality: there will never be anyone. Not like that, not anymore. And mourning that? That’s too much, that feels like a pain that cannot be survived. A pain that will swallow you whole, a pain that will drown you.

Therapists can offer a lot of support, but not like that. So maybe you want to switch therapists in hopes of finding someone who can (even though, if they are a good therapist, they can’t), or you would rather be without therapists because then at least they won’t have to suffer the pain of “someone’s here but they’re not enough”. 

Getting a little support, a little of everything we missed, a little of everything we want… Getting a little is worse, in some ways. Because getting a little bit activates the pain; it triggers the feelings of what we miss. Dripping a couple drops of water in an empty bucket makes you feel how devastatingly empty that bucket is.

Getting nothing and being absolutely alone is dull. It’s a drag of depression and darkness. But getting a little bit but not everything? That’s sharp and flashing pain, it’s dry heaving from the heavy crying. It’s intrusive thoughts and self-destructive thoughts. It’s breaking apart again and again and again.

[jhscdood]

liSTEN my therapist warned me about this and then she told me THERE IS A SOLUTION

you DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY FOREVER

the solution is reparenting yourself

YOU be the parent you wish you’d had. 

YOU give yourself comfort and love and acceptance (and ice cream and stuffed animals).

YOU talk to yourself the way a good parent would – tell yourself “it’s okay” and “everybody makes mistakes” and “you will feel better soon”. 

YOU can change the voices in your head. listen to those thoughts and hear whose voice they’re speaking with. your parents programmed those intrusive thoughts. and then ARGUE with them the way you were never allowed to before. tell yourself “YOU DESERVE NICE THINGS” and “YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY” until someday someday someday with enough time you CHANGE your programming into something BETTER.

It’s a process. it’s a looooooooooong process. I’m still going at it. BUT. it can really really help to know that the way you feel right now is not forever, and that you can re-parent yourself and start to feel better. that you have power now that you didn’t have before, and you can use that power to reinforce your programming and you can use that power to change that programming, and it’s all up to you.

OP is right that no one else can do it for you. you can’t get adopted by a new perfect family. your therapist / partner / BFF can’t do it.

but YOU CAN.

(p.s. https://www.outofthestorm.website/ is a really really great resource from anyone suffering from complex ptsd due to relational trauma, A++ highly recommend)

[planteria]

hey let me tell you which a:tla character you remind me of

[dwarfmun]

Hey I have good news for everyone.

Cringe culture literally does not exist outside of the internet.

I take my Minecraft backpack to college and I get tons of compliments on it. My boss’s son plays Minecraft and he’s elated to have a “resident Minecraft expert.”

Lots of things that fall under “cringe” are very dear to me and my friends. Good people recognize and celebrate that passion, no matter what it’s for.

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

cringe culture exists online and in high school, that’s literally it

[the-haiku-bot]

cringe culture exists

online and in high school, that’s

literally it

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[aberrantemotion]

Literally one time I was on an airplane and this 50 year old dude noticed my pokeball phone charger and it turned out he was a big pokemon fan who used to work on card development and gave me a rare pack of German misprinted pokemon cards because he was flying to visit a pokemon merch unwrapping youtuber channel so being public with your interests can be good actually

[naamahdarling]

Cringe is just you hating on the interests of people 10+ yrs older than you or 10+ years younger, or YOU from 10 years ago. It’s terrible. We need to make this stop.

The only thing that is cringe is cringe itself.

[guooey]

[bogleech]

It's them, the Five Guys

[ari-nemera]

very beautiful. very powerful.

[natalieironside]

“We can’t accurately apply modern identity labels to pre-modern individuals who aren’t around for us to ask” is technically true but like 90% of the time I hear it it’s being said by people who seem to believe that gay ppl were invented in the 1990s for TV sitcoms

[natalieironside]

It’s useful and very important to talk about the evolving nature of relationships, marriage, societal mores around sex and love, different kinds of people’s roles in society, etc., but at the same time you just sort of can’t “no-homo” women having sex with each other

[natalieironside]

Y'know who I have an immense amount of respect for, is queer historians and anthropologists. It gives me enough headaches to deal with this from random ppl on the Interent; I cannot even imagine dealing with it at my job

[mareep-is-transfem]

may I add:

“yes, we technically do not know this person’s gender, or how they thought of themselves, but generally speaking, AMAB people who change their birth name, dress in drag constantly, refuse to answer to “mr”, are in photos wearing breast forms, and request burial in a dress don’t tend to be cisgender” is a thing I’ve had to say entirely too often.

like, gender is fake and social and fluid, and I get that from a cis perspective everything probably looks cisgender, but…come on.

[thecommunityoftrustworthysinks]

^^^ likewise there were a lot of women who dressed as men for various reasons without being trans men, but when historical figures who were afab were adamant about being men even when it didn’t serve them, lived as men even among their close friends/partners/etc, and even in some instances fought for their right to be called a man (or like james barry requested to be buried dressed), it would be damn fucking erasure to act like they were just victims of the patriarchy and not gender-nonconforming/transgender people of history

[natalieironside]

Mmhmm

[hussyknee]

(Alt text included)

Link to blog post

Link to Science.org article: Transgender Rights Rely On Inclusive Language

Link to Twitter thread

[bumblebeebats]

You know those remote islands completely removed from regular evolutionary chains so you go there and find them just completely populated with alien trees and lifeforms you would never have imagined in a 1000 years actually existed? Twitter opinions are like that

[fandomshatelgbtqpeople]

I really wish “unlearning internalized misogyny” hadn’t become synonymous with “learn to like being feminine.” That’s true for some people but it’s not true for everyone and it shouldn’t be true for everyone. Some people don’t like femininity because of internalized misogyny, but some people don’t like it because they’re just not feminine. It’s not for everyone. Not liking pink because it’s just not one of your favorite colors isn’t interalized misogyny, and not liking it because it reminds you of the pain of having femininity forced on you growing up isn’t internalized misogyny either. You don’t have to “unlearn” those things.

Internalized misogyny is thinking every woman needs to be feminine or there’s something wrong with them. Internalized misogyny is trying to enforce a feminine performance on women around you. The idea that there’s something inherently worse about being masculine than being feminine is radfem-y and disgusting.

[firelxdykatara]

I think that part of internalized misogyny is also ‘if a woman likes -insert stereotypically feminine thing here-, it’s Bad and Wrong because she was forced to under the patriarchy’. You absolutely can go so far into rejecting femininity because you don’t want to be forced to embrace it into demonizing femininity as a whole. You can talk about make-up and the beauty industry and how they have been weaponized against women and afab people without insisting that the only reason anyone could ever want to wear make-up is to Perform Femininity and it couldn’t possibly be because they just like it, for example.

You can dislike stereotypically feminine things because you just don’t like them (or because you were forced to embrace them and had to work to be able to get away from that) without swinging so far in the other direction that you wind up claiming that femininity is inherently vile and only people brainwashed by the patriarchy would embrace any of it, because at that point you’ve circled back around to just hating feminine things because they’re feminine, and that’s just as much internalized misogyny as the belief that women must like feminine things because they’re feminine.

[fandomshatelgbtqpeople]

This response isn’t really aimed at this commenter specifically. This frustration has been brewing for a while. I am just so tired.

Why is it so impossible for people to just sit with the reality that feminine women often perpetuate internalized misogyny on gender nonconforming women without trying to turn it back around on us? “Okay, but you might still have internalized misogyn–” We know. It’s impossible to forget when we all see fifteen posts a week reminding us that “when you unlearn your internalized misogyny, you’ll learn to like being feminine.” I’m sorry but “gender nonconforming women hate femininity because of internalized misogyny” and “gender nonconforming women think feminine women are all slaves of the patriarchy” aren’t the hot takes everyone seems to think they are. They’re repetitive and exhausting. It’s like every time someone makes a post suggesting that gender nonconformity isn’t always a sign of internalized misogyny and that maybe feminine women can have internalized misogyny too, there’s this scramble to put gnc women back in our “rightful” place as the perpetrators of internalized misogyny on feminine women. 

How come hundreds of posts implying that the only reason not to like feminine things is internalized misogyny are allowed to circulate unchecked but anyone who writes a post reminding gnc women that it’s okay if that isn’t their experience and some people just don’t like feminine things has to add ten disclaimers and caveats to avoid getting replies like this? Do any of these people who are so concerned about internalized misogyny ever reblog posts about how it’s okay to like makeup to add that it’s also okay to not like makeup, or do they save all their concern for posts meant to reassure gender nonconforming women? Why is everyone on this website so intent on acting like society tells women not to be feminine and like being feminine is actually the braver choice, despite so much research showing that society punishes women for not being feminine enough? Why are there a thousand and one posts telling gender nonconforming girls that it’s bad for them to feel like they’re not like other girls, but I’ve never seen a single post telling feminine girls not to bully gnc girls for their gender nonconformity?

I am begging people who add things like this onto posts to consider what it would feel like if every post about learning to love femininity had a tacked on response about “okay…. but it’s also okay to not like femininity :) and you should really think about why you like it because it might be internalized misogyny :):) you can still have internalized misogyny ;)” Would that make you feel like you were in an environment that actually supported women embracing femininity? Can you understand now why adding these things onto every post celebrating gnc women is inappropriate? The borderline hostility on this website to women doing anything other than “learning to love femininity” isn’t progressive. It’s reskinned misogyny with a smattering of homophobia (yes, even if you yourself are not straight). You all turned “women should be able to choose how they present themselves” into “you can choose ;);) but there is a right choice and we’re going to make if very clear if we think you chose wrong.”

[headspace-hotel]

I feel like people are afraid to talk about how expectations to “perform femininity” are primarily enforced by other women.

In high school it messed with me how much better other girls treated me when I put on makeup and tried to dress in a feminine way

In my experience women and girls sometimes use femininity to evaluate your ability to conform socially. Of course a woman who stopped shaving and wearing makeup in her 30’s is supported by other women—she’s already “proven” that she can do it. It’s a very, very different story if you just never were able to be feminine.

Especially if it’s because of your disability and not clearly a purposeful choice

[neckar]

Joanie Lemercier - 2022

[1anonyymous1]

“are u okay?” no i need more money

[newsmutproject]

Cunning Linguists: Table of Contents

We’re thrilled to announce the authors and stories in the New Smut Project’s fourth anthology, Cunning Linguists.

Language. Literature. Lechery.

Thirty authors share clever, sensual stories of the many ways we communicate about and around our desires. From erotic epistolary tales to steamy retellings of classics, this collection bursts with memorable and hot new reading material.

One Tongue – A.C. Quill

Dido Burns – Taylor Verdon

Blue Rising – Max Turner

Head to Toe – Camille Devine

I Ought to Be Thy Adam – Seb Palumbus

Barako – Rachel Woe

Draft – T.C. Mill

Astronautical Intimacy – Tiana Talaria

Sky-High at Aquarius – jem zero

The Meaning of Anything – Kristan X

Muse – Sprocket J. Rydyr

On the Line – Sonni de Soto

Noi Leggiavamo Per Diletto – Alex Freeman

We’re Not Tentacle Porn – Koji A. Dae

Spark to the Tinder – Cathy Bryant

Written – Ollie Fox

Frontiers – Moxie Marcus

Cave Suckers – Elizabeth A. Allen

Under the Table – Rachel Kramer Bussel

Planet Rolling Over – Peach Berman

Moonlight and Madness – A. Zimmerman

First Time – Alex Yan

Inkmanship – Melissa Snowdon

Welcome to EvolWorld – Louise Kane

Spell Ling B – D. Fostalove

Unsexed, Sexy – Danny McLaren

The Feeling’s Mutual – D.J. Hodge

The Training of the Tongue – Evadare Volney

More Than Words – Lillian James

Phantom Centre – T.J. Cooke

Heated banter simmers until the sexual tension boils over. An academic aches with curiosity about the mysterious woman behind the letters she translates–and the mysterious woman working alongside her. Lovers seek a common language after the fall of Babel. Without a physical body, a spaceship’s AI makes love to her captain with words. A domme and her sub negotiate kink titles that reflect all they are to each other. After saving his nonbinary partner, Victor Frankenstein celebrates both erotically and electrically.

Diverse characters find pleasure in body writing, music, virtual realities, fanfiction, first-time phone sex, the queer truth behind local folklore, and reading aloud despite a boyfriend’s best attempts at distraction. Stories ranging from the lighthearted to the bittersweet explore what happens when someone finds just the right thing to say in bed—or says the wrong one—or speaks eloquently without using any words at all.

Preorder links:

Gumroad (use coupon code CUNNING for 25% off preorders)

Amazon

Smashwords

Barnes and Noble

Other retailers – Books2Read

A paperback issue will also be available – subscribe to our newsletter to receive an email when it is.