After extensive research (scrolling down on my blog a few times) I noticed I have never headcanoned ages, so for my reemergence, here’s how old I think the mercs are and some other stuff :)
23 (im pretty sure this is canon)
has a fuckass tooth gap, needed braces as a kid that he hated and refuses to wear his retainer now (medic does NOT approve)
terrible diet, he's only so thin because of his occupation and insane metabolism. He hasn't seen a vegetable since last time he visited his ma.
On that note, he's also TERRIBLE about drinking water and gets confused as to why he always has a headache.
as in the food he makes is edible, despite however it might look visually
grew up just outside of Boston
Keeps random shit on his walls, constantly needs more thumbtacks. Posters, post its, stickers, pictures, signs... why is there a fucking SPOON taped next to his door this is ridiculous.
Sometimes he catches himself sucking his thumb at his big age, the loser
when he was a kid he got bullied for not looking like his siblings like at all
born July 3rd (WHY COULDN'T YOU HOLD HIM IN A LITTLE LONGER, MOM.)
both as in intensity and special interest
First got into US military type stuff hearing about the Vietnam war as a kid, it fascinated him and made him absolutely determined to help
grew up in Minnesota, ironically HATES the cold
typa guy to make himself run laps and junk if he realized he was being rude to women or something
probably ace, yes I know he has children shut up
probably the youngest on the team, maybe 25?
they have burn scars all over their body from an old memory they've since pushed deep into the back of their head
they can handle not wearing their suit if they absolutely have to, but avoid mirrors lest they stare into it for a long time not quite recognizing the person looking back at them
medic and engie are really the only ones that have seen them outside of the suit more than once
anyway they hate being infantilized, not only for being the youngest but also for being delusional
it doesn't happen as often as you'd think, at least. But sometimes medic will baby talk them when they're getting a checkup or scout will say something ignorant. They can ignore it but it gets annoying.
they enjoy chocolate ice cream
a fan of the cold in general
pretty handy, actually. They built their flamethrowers and a good few of their melee weapons, engie taught them a lot.
cutting this short cause I've been yapping about pyro for too long
has only actually been to Scotland like twice, he was born in the us with his mum, just grew up with her long enough to gain the accent anyway
doesn't know a lick of Gaelic, sorry. Obviously words like "bonnie" and "Gob" slip out, but that's just basic Scottish vocabulary lmao
he has a collection of eye patches, he thinks his missing eye is kinda cool when he isn't annoyed about his lack of depth perception
he uses bombs specifically because of his lack of depth perception, actually, since as long as he hits within the vicinity of his target he usually wins
he's a fan of the outdoors, hangs around sniper sometimes
crazy smart, specifically a chemistry nerd (obviously) but he can answer crazy specific questions on anything. this also means he's very good at converting measurements, if you're ever baking or something lol
that last part specifically helps whenever the European dweebs say something metric and the Americans need a translator.
"yeah that's 55 kilometers away" "..." "that's about 34 miles, lad" "oooohhh"
hes generally pretty good at English, but certain words annoy him
likes working out with soldier, specifically lifting. The most wholesome gym bros.
helps short people reach things on tall shelves
not a whole lot I haven't already said about him lol
get brown eye contacts I'm scared
scout clings to him almost as much as pyro does, actually.
he doesn't mind all that much, at least
speaks Spanish pretty fluently, though he has a very obvious accent and has yet to master rolling his Rs, he's trying his best at least <3
used to be the worlds most annoying angsty teenager, if you can believe it
grew out of it, obviously, but he still has a crap ton of old vinyl records of all the rock bands he used to listen to in secret in a box somewhere
(if you're wondering, his parents were NOT fans)
he has four siblings! he's the second eldest, two sisters and two brothers
knows a bit of medical stuff from medic, its how he put the healing factor into the dispenser
never went to medical school, but he did quite a bit of studying in both human anatomy and biology
so yeah he never had a medical license in the first place lol
he has a collection of bones and other bits (organs, wet specimens, etc etc)
the med bay smells like birds, its not sanitary
he's a good medic despite all of these, though! just double check that you have all your guts in order before and after an operation! scout still has a bird in his chest, after all.
off topic but he also has really thick hair that sheds a lot, like if he lays down somewhere you can find a bunch of black hairs like little snakes all over the place
^hes just like me for real!
like weirdly beefy? that medigun is heavier than it looks, and the backpack is even heavier
hed be a fan of squid game in a modern au
weirdly cagey about his birthday?? like he'll tell you if you ask but he'll be all like "what?? why do you need to know that??"
his footsteps don't make noise, he regularly startles people (scout) by just walking into a room and just standing there
like never gets sick, probably from being outside all the time his whole life but his immune system is made out of steel
medic finds this fascinating lol
blind as hell without his glasses
shaves with his knife just because he thinks its cool lmao
he has a scar on his cheek because of this though he lies and says its because he almost got hit by an enemy sniper
loser hides under his hat when he's embarrased
born ??? (he says a different date every time someone asks)
THIS BITCH ISNT EVEN FRENCH!!!!!
grew up in like Nevada and puts on the whole french thing to be more anonymous
fuck is a petite chou fleur?? your little cauliflower?? come on now
no but I do think he is a spy, and a very good one at that (he managed to convince everyone he's french, after all)
he was supposed to be on a way more advanced team but got misplaced but he was useful on the team so he stayed there (and he felt guilty about leaving his son yet again)
needed braces as a kid, wears his retainer religiously
he's visibly uncomfortable with having his mask off, but not in the same way pyro is. He hates the idea of being seen more than they hate seeing themselves.
If he doesn't like you he won't make it obvious, but he'll just. stare at you for an uncomfortable amount of time. not even in a death glare way, more like he's calculating how many ways he could make you vanish into thin air
