what this country needs is plenty of moxie

● Luna ● she/her ● old but still growing ● baseball: mariners, mets, red sox, cubs, misc. guys ● hockey: mostly bruins and woho, mourning the pride ● also known as: craigzylegs, kureally ● I try to tag common triggers but feel free to send me an ask if I miss one!

[degrommunism]

[martypantone]

When John Tortorella invariably fucks up again and needs his image rehabilitated, I am going to pitch him my new feature film, Horse Hockey, a heartwarming coming of age story about Torts rescuing an an orphaned foal and teaching it to play hockey, Air Bud style.

And obviously the horse is a beast on the ice, even more so under Tortorella’s rigorous coaching. I mean, can you imagine this thing on a breakaway?? Except he’s not the hard-hitting, physical brute that everyone in the league assumes he is. He’s sensitive. He’s patient. He’s got high hockey IQ and beautiful edge work. But the refs only see his size and his (ahem) pedigree, and the horse just keeps racking up the penalty minutes. Teams are starting to get worried he’s a liability, and Tortorella’s ever growing presence as the horse’s coach/agent/father is NOT helping.

In a pivotal game against their divisional rival, the horse gets a five minute major for boarding, and Torts is on the ice before he even registers his body moving, screaming at the refs that “it was clean hit! It’s not his fault he’s 17 hands high!!” But then he feels something on his waist. A hoof, somehow fitted with a hockey skate blade, pulls him back into the penalty box, and the horse whinnies softly until Torts stops his tirade and sits down, pacified. The entire arena looks on, dead silent, as Torts starts reflexively smoothing his fingers through the horse’s beautiful mane, the way he used to every night when the horse was still too young and afraid to leave his side.

And as his horse son looks at him with his big, wet horse eyes and places his big, warm horse head onto his shoulder, John has a realization. He may have taught the horse about stick handling and face offs, but the horse taught him something even more important. The horse taught John Tortorella how to be a little bit more human.

[in-the-mists]

Swimming, One Day in August, by Mary Oliver

Go Mariners :)

[kibumkim]

[penandinkprincess]

okay but ilya fixing his hair and posturing up as he opens the door to his house because he's clearly trying to look very impressive and sexy-

-only to IMMEDIATELY lose shane's interest to the architecture of his house

is SO goddamn funny

[penandinkprincess]

i am posting this with your tags @no-lovelorn-hazard because the words "you little zillow slut" took me OUT

[asterraeceae]

Prev’s tags are sending me. Like nah lads, you’re just seeing him in Peak Autism Special Interest Zone. He’s out here memorising housing stats for everywhere. He knows what’s up and he’s done so many home tours that he’ll be driving the rookies somewhere and will just be like: ‘and yeah, that house is good. Three bedrooms, one bathroom, single garage. Gas stove top. It currently has carpet but it was done in the eighties and it’s covering up real hardwood floors - don’t know why they’d do that - but anyway- it’s listed for X amount but I think with the plumbing issue in the laundry it’s worth about Y-‘

And the rookies are just like *star-eyes* this man is a god.

And Ilya is both absolutely laughing his ass off that they’re seeing him In The Zone and thinking he’s like this all the time, and his heart is just exploding with the amount of affection he feels for his adorable autistic husband.

[stormsthatrage]

Heated Rivalry AU where Ilya dips out early from a post-game party with Boston, and someone gets the idea to put on a Hollonov compilation as a joke.

The whole team settles in with rapt attention, ready to roast the shit out of Roz over it via group chat, only to see. Well. It's a series of interview clips over the years. It's made up exclusively of three things. One, clips of Hollander "stealing" linguistically challenging questions that the whole team knows Rozanov hates. Two, clips of Rozanov derailing questions that are about Hollander's "representation of his community," which gossip on the street says makes Hollander uncomfortable. Three, Hollander and Rozanov commenting individually on the rivalry, with vicious comments such as. "He's of course a great player, but he'll find us difficult to beat." Such fire in Rozanov's comments are especially damning, given his whole chirp-king-schtick. The video editor, with all the obsession and perception of a true fangirl, makes sure to circle every instance where you can see the shadow of Hollander and Rozanov pressing their feet together - and in one instance holding hands - beneath the interview table. (You wouldn't see it unless you're looking for it - or unless someone circles it in red for you.)

The video finishes, and the team sits in a kind of shocked silence as the next video auto-plays. This one is a compilation of Rozanov chirping Hollander on the ice. Here, the editor has helpfully drawn an arrow to Hollander's face whenever he blushes. The editor has also inserted text overlays with comments like. "Look at how fiercely Rozanov insults his rival." And then puts smaller arrows pointing to Roz's body language, with helpful texts like "excited wiggle indicating absolute fury," and "besotted grin indicating deep hatred." The sarcasm is distressingly accurate in its point.

(Listen, the whole team knows what Roz looks like when he's chirping someone. This - this is not it. This is not it at all. This is him when he's being silly with people he really likes. What is going on.)

The video finishes, and this time someone has the presence of mind to stop the auto-play before another mind-breaking thing comes up.

Someone else, trying to lighten the silence with a joke, and maybe dismiss it all as a fever dream, says, "Montreal Jane? More like Montreal Shane, am I right?"

And. Well.

Once it's out there, there's no coming back from it.

Cliff asks aloud, to no one in particular, "Are we just stupid?"

[greedydemands]

Shane is like do not buy me a fur coat Ilya is like I’ll kill myself if I don’t buy you a fur coat Shane is like don’t make jokes like that Ilya is like we will be 68 and gay marriage will come to Russia but they will not let me in because i never bought my western wife a fur coat Shane is like if you buy a fur coat you’ll be dead before we can get gay married in Russia and Ilya is like wow…only i can make jokes about my country being homophobic. So you hate Russian lives 😒 and Shane trying not to laugh is like I’m sorry i know it’s sensitive baby and Ilya tells him you can make it up to me by trying on the fur coat getting delivered during time estimate 10-1pm

[hollandar]

Hudson Williams, #1 Shane Understander

I think Shane was a character who, soon as I read him, made all the sense to me. I felt immediately a kinship and an ownership over Shane. I was like, “I need to be the only person to tell this story. I get it. I want to be the person to be Shane and I want to spend time with him.” [x]

(sources below)

PANEL 1 Out

PANEL 2 (fear/desire) The Permanent Rain Press

PANEL 3 (vegas bathroom) Numero Netherlands

PANEL 4 (tears) Harper's Bazaar

PANEL 5 (ilya inverse) Teen Vogue Image: [x]

PANEL 6 (additions) (4 gifs) Numero Netherlands Entertainment Weekly

PANEL 7 (good job) Them

PANEL 8 (dichotomy) eTalk CTV CBC News Images: [x] [x] [x]

PANEL 9 (cottage home) Variety

PANEL 10 (heart eyes) Timid

PANEL 11 (evolution) Much Image: [x]

PANEL 12 (yuna) Variety

PANEL 13 Timid Numero Netherlands Out Image: [x]

[qualitystart]

I don't want to put anyone on blast and I can't say what any individual writer did or did not do but I do think we should be very careful about thinking people are using AI just because we think the writing is subpar.

sometimes people just aren't very good writers. sometimes people are banging out romance ebooks as fast as they can. posting fics even though they're not the epitome of craft. sometimes people are doing their best and it's just mid. sometimes people aren't doing their best and it's mid.

I don't really have a snappy conclusion here. spotting AI is getting harder and AI infiltration of creative fields absolutely sucks balls and there are absolutely people using genAI as a "writing" shortcut. but I also feel strongly that people should have room to suck a little without being accused of not having done the writing themselves, because if they don't have room to suck how will they ever have room to get better?

[aslongasitsblack]

i know ilya is dyyyyying to bling shane out he’s typing cartier dot com into his iphone the moment he gets out of shanes car from the cottage after they get married he buys shane a four carat engagement ring that he knows shane will never ever wear but he likes to bring it out occasionally and slip it on shanes finger when they’re cooking so shane’s ring finger is weighed down while he’s chopping carrots into oblongs he one time is seriously in dm talks with an instagram chain artist to get shane an iced out cuban link with ‘24’ in diamonds before shane talks him out of it saying its literally a down payment for a house and ilyas like baby you are worth it. you are worth more. yuna and shane have that conversation from gilmore girls where shane is like “he bought me this bag…i think its called a birkin” and yunas like “a birkin bag? a birkin bag! a birkin bag for shane…” shane goes home and is like dont buy me fucking million dollar purses and ilya sulks that he’s spent years putting down money with his sales associate at hermes to get this opportunity shane asks if he bought all his girls a birkin and ilya very seriously responds you buy dior for your hoes. you only buy your wife a birkin. when shane finally breaks through his prison of masculinity he wears a tasteful curated selection of jewellery (a paperclip chain bracelet, a t-bar necklace and his wedding ring) that he only finds out the collective price of when a twitter account does some googling and finds out he’s wearing hundreds of thousands worth of white gold. shane’s version of this is wordlessly paying ilyas parking fines as they come in the mail

[grantmentis]

Where should Chicago PWHL play

Inside the bean

Tunnel between blue and red line at Jackson street

Former rainforest cafe spot

Rotate between various Harold’s chickens

Chicago rat hole

Voting ended onMar 24

[grantmentis]

It’s been decided

CHICAGO PWHL WILL PLAY INSIDE THE BEAN

[degrommunism]

I need people to realize that, especially in the realm of sports takes, saying “people on Twitter are saying” is now like the equivalent of saying “people in the YouTube comments are saying.” You are going rage baited by bots and people who make money from you getting mad at them. Which if you want to do I can’t tell you how to spend your free time but please don’t act like these are serious people or worth sharing anywhere else

[experienceandobservation]

Connor Storrie | VMAN | Spring/Summer 2026 | 🎥 Luigi and Iango

[whitepeachredbull]

I'm hoping he's got a room key for me at his hotel. That's what I'm hoping for...that's it.

[starrynet]

is your favorite sports team also your dad’s favorite team?

yes

yes but with nuance somehow

no - my dad and I like different teams

my dad doesn’t have a favorite team

I don’t have a favorite team

my dad and I like different sports

something else that doesn’t fit one of the categories already mentioned

Voting ended onMar 20

[clytemnestraaa]

truly so beautiful that ilya is all about fast cars and cocaine and loud music and crazy women and then instead he is in love with some kind of large flightless bird

[thomasmomwell]

ilya rozanov asks shane to be his boyfriend, attempt 1: bro I fucking love having sex with girls

ilya rozanov asks shane to be his boyfriend, attempt 2: might fuck around later and marry a woman lol. yeah i have one in mind. she's really hot :) her dad was a goalie :)

ilya rozanov asks shane to be his boyfriend, attempt 3: [to shane's parents] WE! ARE! LOVERS!