Aliens Exist and I will Find Them @queen--b-e-e - Tumblr Blog

jolinxo

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pendejx-deactivated20200323

“I was like this ass?”

forbucksake-deactivated20200520

yondu more like yondon’t talk to me or my son ever again

flawlessbeautyqueens

Laverne Cox photographed by Janell Shirtcliff for Ladygunn

definitelywicked-deactivated201

Red is her color.

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I went to high school with a kid who would only drink out of a baby bottle. He brought a large baby bottle to school every day. At first, we thought that he was using it to sneak alcohol or something, but he wasn’t. He would bring it filled with chocolate milk and then fill it up with Coca-Cola and Sprite during lunch. He’d buy a can of each and mix them together. Like I said, it was a large bottle.

I didn’t know the kid that well and I didn’t have any classes with him so I never really talked to him that much. I knew his name. His name was Kevin. Sometimes I’d see him at parties on the weekends. He still had his baby bottle. He would fill it with beer and rum.

He dated my sister’s friend, Emily, for a little while. I had known Emily for a long time. She had been a friend of my sister’s since they were five or six. They were really good friends. She spent a lot of time at our house for sleepovers and stuff. Sometimes she would pee the bed, but I never made fun of her for it. I think most older brothers would have loved the opportunity to make fun of their sister’s friend for peeing the bed and I think she really appreciated that I never mentioned it even though I definitely knew about it because after the sixth or seventh time, my parents started paying me to clean everything up instead of having to do it themselves.

I asked Emily why Kevin only ever drank out of a baby bottle and she said that she didn’t know. They had only been dating for a very short time at that point and she didn’t want to bring it up and offend him or anything. I asked her to tell me if she ever found out. They broke up right after that and I kind of forgot about it because Kevin stopped going to school. I don’t know if he transferred or dropped out, but I never saw him at lunch or any parties after that.

I hadn’t thought about him in a long time, but Emily happened to mention him while she was over at our house recently and I immediately remembered the baby bottle thing.

“Did you ever find out why he drank out of that bottle?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, he told me why,” Emily said. “He used it because he heard that babies that drink out of bottles for too long or drink sweet drinks out of them get really bad teeth problems. He wanted all of his teeth to go bad so that they would fall out and he would be able to fit a softball in his mouth. He said that he wanted to have the world record for being the first person to be able to put a whole softball in his mouth and he wouldn’t be able to do that with all of those teeth in the way.”

pluginduck

What the fuck did I just read

Trying to write a dnd campaign

Player 1: I want to play a cleric w a really sad and dramatic backstory

Player 2: I wanna play an orc who has his dick out 100% of the time

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Abandoned Yellow House in Nova Scotia

me @ myself: get it together.....

also me @ myself: ur literally going through a lot rn? cut yourself some slack?

also also me @ myself: ...anyway....i hate my entire self

alienmeg-blog

*signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

thebootydiaries

me: call 911 i’m in pain i just got stabbed

white girl with 3 chokers and a 21 pilots temporary tattoo: pain? ha, as if you know what that is. real pain is love becau

yeahiwasintheshit

whitegirlsaintshit

*gets “born to bottom” tatted on my buttcheek*

yekkes

(ABAB) assigned bottom at birth

sexhaver

whoever designed that graphic deserves some sort of award

Moaning Myrtle: Comes back as a ghost and remains at the site of her murder

The entire Hogwarts staff, the Ministry of Magic, and the whole Wizarding World: Well I dunno how we're gonna solve this mystery Scoob if only there was some way to ask this murdered girl how she died and who is responsible oh well let's blame this kid because he looks suspicious and this other kid said it was him