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[pagesofkenna]

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This is legitimately the funniest thing that has ever happened on MBMBAM

[pepgold]

[thesaucymerchant]

Top 10 Anime Betrayals

[spaceviral-archive-deactivated2]

“Your mental illness is all in your head” where did you think it was????? my ass????

[searching-for-repentance]

Mental illness is stored in the balls

[onlyhams]

​mental illness is the powerhouse of the cell

[sillynoodleoodle]

Mental Illness ™ is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

[official-lucifers-child]

Each response was another punch to my lungs as I attempt to hold in my laughter

[unbossed-deactivated20251218]

A new folk hero for the working class. Be like this comrade every chance you can get away with.

[unbossed-deactivated20251218]

The sequel.

[commodorecliche]

Scientist 1, an absolute slut for Christmas: EARLY CHRISTMAS IS GOOD FOR YOU

Scientist 2, ready to burn every Christmas tree within a 10 mile radius because it's not even Thanksgiving yet: IF I HEAR A SINGLE JINGLE BELL, I WILL DIE

[poztatt]

Obvious solution: silently decorate your tree.  Yay! 

[earlgraytay]

decorating your tree is a choice, it’s enrichment, it makes your environment better ( to your standards) and brings your family together

christmas music is everywhere, it’s inescapable, if you work retail you have to hear it 8 hours a day, and if you’re not Christian or have issues with Christmas it drives you even battier than usual 

makes sense to me 

[miamaroo]

Going into therapy like

[hodlmyvodka]

It’s a pine fall day today in Russia.

[officialtomselleck-deactivated2]

Things just happen in Russia in a unique way that I’m not sure can ever be explained. Like how a fucking meteor landed in the middle of the Russian wilderness and resulted in the equivalent of a nuclear bomb going off but no one really even noticed.

[small-funny]

russia requiring drivers to have dashcams for insurance purposes is literally the best law ever enacted bc we get to see shit like this

[otherwindow]

a typical mage character but they’re played out like a modern hacker 

always seen and heard writing in a tome 

spells out absurdly long and confusing incantations to cast magic 

“hacking the system” / “reveal the arcane" 

holds every spellbook out sideways like an open laptop and it makes everybody mad

uses a floating quill as a magic mouse cursor to click and drag goblins into each other

unlike other mages, it takes a LOT to silence this one due to their “Wi-Fi” (Whispering Invocation For Incantations) followed by a magical dial-up connection sound

study is full of potion bottles coloured like this

[pwbi]

I LOVE this headcanon lmao

[blacklightfantasia]

Pretty sure this is/was @normal-horoscopes when bonesy was less a percentage of bone and with a bit more flesh.

[hoopyfrood]

*new yorker voice* ey! im spiralling here!

[hoopyfrood]

*new yorker voice* im fallin apart! badabing badaboom!

[yeeowch]

“weird” is just a setting on my dryer

[iamoutofideas]

whats it do?

[rainbowgazes-archive]

makes the clothes wetter

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

That is weird

[iamalivenow]

griffin: homebrews a game mechanic for creating bonds with others and creating memories that will last a life time

travis: homebrews dodgeball

[huggabee-deactivated20210429]

local prettyboy has a breakdown over lack of crepes

[ptomlins]

Travis in Balance: can I pleeeeeeease have a dog? 

Griffin: how about a fish. it does nothing its just a fish

Griffin in Graduation: But I don’t want—

Travis: here is your magic crab son he reflects your INNERMOST SELF and you must LOVE HIM

[crow--teeth]

[me, gently pulling worms from the dirt] and ur evicted and ur evicted and ur e

[the-original-cinnamon-roll]

[me, gently scooping up worms with a stick after a rainstorm] go back to bed go back to bed go bac

[catladymarie]

[me, gently placing worms in my compost pile] bon appétit bon appétit bon appéti

[webscene-remade]

answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

[webscene-remade]

scam caller: hello, how are you today?

me: great!

scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.

me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though

scam caller: what?

me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?

scam caller:

me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?

scam caller:

me: I was just wondering, is all

scam caller: why did you answer?

me:

me: what?

scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?

me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.

scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.

me: well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal

scam caller: my goal?

me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You’re not accomplishing that. I’d call that an expense.

scam caller: well, can I scam you?

me:

me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?

scam caller: yes. can I scam you?

me, baffled: sure, you can try

scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer

me: yeah, that’s still a problem. I’m eating tater tots right now and I really don’t feel like getting up.

scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then.

me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won’t.

scam caller: You answered today.

me: …touché?

scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day.

[marioyuri-moved-to-transkaito]

Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K

[tastefullyoffensive]

[deactivated20131209-deactivated]

my child

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

i’ve been crying laughing over this for the past 5 minutes

[megidonitram]

This honestly reminds me of a show on the history channel where they spent like 25 minutes wondering how the sides of all the pyramids seemed to be perfectly divisible by pi or something, and people where theorizing about aliens and some lost form of mathematics, but then at the end they interviewed a tiered looking paleontologist and he was just like “maybe they just used a wheel to do all their measurements.” and the whole show just immediately collapsed.

[midnite-wet-dreamz]

Ok but gay porn is really teaching me about life and finances

[livelegatolagrange-deactivated2]

Gay porn is gonna evolve into gay erotic soap operas

[surprisebitch]

this is so surreal