Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats

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@queenpallascat
Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats
My coworker found out we both dont like coworker ben and she was so relieved and happy about it because quote “youre so POSITIVE about everything and if YOU still dont like him then its HIM”
I love all of my coworkers except fuckass ben. Ben please quit this job and never come back
Picture: you work in retail and its pretty fun and then one day a customer spills water all over the floor. They’re very apologetic but its fine youve got this its not even juice its plain water. Your coworker ben so helpfully gets a roll of paper towels and tosses some of them onto the puddle of water. While you start to actually wipe it up, he gives the roll of paper towels to you and declares its time for his break. And then he leaves you there. With the giant puddle and pile of damp paper towels. Also his break was scheduled for half an hour from now.
Picture: coworker ben forgot his wallet at home today. He asks you to give him 30 dollars. When you RIGHTFULLY SAY NO WAY, he proceeds to heckle you for the next few minutes about what a cruel friend you are.
Picture: youre markus sircantus and you have a kinda uncontrollable habit of making a small chuckle whenever youre done talking. Genuinely i dont mean to do it its like a weird way i exhale air i guess. Anyway coworker ben hears you do this and proceeds to make fun of it for a solid three weeks even after you tell him you literally cant control it. Its the first thing he notes whenever he sees you and he also talks over you to insist how hilarious you sound for making that little laugh noise. He then thinks he’s hilarious for dragging this joke on for several weeks
Yes, that is my circus, and, yes, those are my monkeys, but I am not on shift yet.
>be me >see blog with based handle >shinigami eyes highlights in red >click on handle >read bio >"transmeds fuck off" every time.
These are great, but seriously don’t plant bamboo near data centers. It’s an invasive species that can quickly overtake the unmaintained land around these places, which is a net negative for the environment.
Plant endangered native wildflowers instead. Preferably ones that have state and federal protection.
Nobody ever talks about body masculinization surgery I mean ok top surgery is great but body masculinization surgery is genuinely super baller and nobody talks about it. The results are great also. It gets talked about less than phalloplasty and that’s already a lot to say
Shit ton of people in the notes screaming about not even knowing this was an option. Which is crazy to me
Transmasculine procedures that you might not know are an option:
Facial Masculinization (FMS) . Which includes:
Tracheal Augmentation: Creating an Adam's Apple.
Rhinoplasty: AKA a "nose-job" , while many people get these to make there nose smaller, transmasc people can also get them to make ther bridge and the overall structure larger, wider, and more prominent.
Brow Bone Augmentation & Hairline Repositioning (this usually involves adding an implant)
Jaw and Chin Augmentation (this usually involves adding an implant)
Buccal Fat Removal: Removes fat from the cheeks, to make the face less round.
Dermal Fillers: Temporarily builds volume in the chin, cheeks, or jawline without major surgery.
Beard implant: Moves hair follicles from a donor area (usually the back of the scalp or under the chin) onto the face to create a thicker or fuller beard
Vocal masculinization. Which includes:
Type III thyroplasty: lowers the pitch of someone's voice by relaxing the vocal chords.
Injection laryngoplasty: adding volume to the vocal folds using derma fillers or autologous fat. Derma fillers are temporary and fat grafting is significantly more long lasting.
Direct vocal fold testosterone injections: Exactly what it says in the tin, they inject testerone directly into your vocal chords and it lowers the pitch. This is a new procedure and we're unsure if it's temporary or permanent.
Body Masculinization. Which includes:
Body Sculpting Liposuction: Removes fat from the hips, flanks, thighs, and lower back to straighten the waistline and square the torso.
Top Surgery or chest masculization. Which includes:
Double Incision mastectomy: This is the one most people know. Two long horizontal cuts across the chest; used for medium to large chests or extra skin; nipples are typically resized and grafted back on. You can leave the nipples off if you want. There is a small chance of loosing nipple sensation.
Inverted-T (Anchor): Uses a horizontal cut plus a vertical drop down to the nipple; keeps the nipple attached to its blood supply/nerves; good for larger chests wanting to save nipple sensation.
Buttonhole: Similar to the inverted-T but without a major vertical skin removal; keeps the nipple attached on a stalk to preserve sensation.
Peri-Areolar (Circumareolar): A circular cut around the outer edge of the areola to remove tissue and extra skin rings; best for small chests with good skin snap-back.
Keyhole: A tiny cut along the bottom edge of the areola; used for very small chests (A-cup or small B-cup) with no loose skin; leaves minimal scarring.
Bottom Surgery or FTM/FTX SRS:
Phalloplasty: Builds a full-sized penis using a skin and tissue graft from the forearm or thigh, done in multiple stages and often including urethral lengthening and erectile implants (see more on erectile implants in the next section). The natal neo phallus is typically buried at the root of the phalloplasty shaft. There is unfortunately a lot of fear mongering and misinformation about Phalloplasty. Most Phalloplasty images you see shared are either mid stage (not completed) and/or haven't healed yet.
Glansplasty: This surgical procedure creates the look of a circumcised penis. A crown is added after phalloplasty for a more aesthetically typical phallus.
Glans Implant: silicone ridge added to Glansplasty to prevent flattening. To my knowledge currently only Dr. Curtis Cane performs this.
Metoidioplasty: AKA "Meta". Uses the natal neo phallus growth that develops from being on testosterone therapy to create a small (2-3 inches typically) penis, preserving full sensation, the ability to have erection without an implant or external device, and has a shorter recovery time.
Scrotoplasty: Shapes labial tissue into a scrotum and places silicone testicular implants. Avaliable with both phalloplasty and metodioplastly.
Urethroplasty: lengthen and reroute the urethra, which allows you to stand and pee. Possible with Phalloplasty, metodioplastly, and non phallus constructive vaginectomy.
Vaginectomy: Removal of the vaginal canal and labia and the the vaginal opening is sutured shut. This is not required to have Phalloplasty or metodioplastly. It is also possible to get a vaginectomy without constructing a phallus, resulting in a smooth transition from the abdomen to the groin, without any genitals. A hysterectomy is required to get a vaginectomy.
Erectile Implants for Phalloplasty. Which include:
Inflatable Implants: Fluid-filled systems (available in 2-piece or 3-piece configurations) that use a scrotal pump to inflate cylinders for an erection and a release valve to return to a flaccid state.
Malleable Implants: Aka "semi-rigid rods". Bendable silicone or wire rods laced inside the phallus that can be manually moved up for use and down for concealment.
The ZSI-475 FTM: This is the only implant designed specifically with transgender men in mind. It is an inflatable implant and has a single piece configuration. It provides an incorporated anchorage plate, in the proximal part of the cylinder, composed of stainless steel and silicone to be sealed with four non-absorbable stitches to the pubic periosteum. The pump is testicle-shaped to improve aesthetical appearance of the scrotum. It is a relatively new implant and less data on it is avaliable in comparison to other erectile implants.
Non Surgical Erectile Devices for trans men post bottom surgery:
The Elator: Consists of two silicone or expandable bands connected by plastic-coated rigid or flexible metal support rods, which hold the phalloplasty in an erect position.
Erectile Sleeves: Hollow silicone or cyber-skin shafts worn over the phallus to add girth and relative firmness. There are ones made for phalloplasty and ones made for metodioplastly. Metodioplasties are able to become erect on their own since they are made from the natal neo phallus (bottom growth), but typically they don't have enough length to penatrate, so their are ribbed suction erectile sleeves that fit over the post-metodioplastly phallus to give additional length.
concurrent events
still thinking about these guys
still thinking about these guys
i'm reading phm right now for the first time and my favorite thing so far is stratt putting a post-it note on grace's forehead while he was sleeping on the aircraft carrier so i doodled it
"This child cannot get this treatment because their parent said no" why is this normal to you!!! "This child, who is begging for treatment, cannot be given lifesaving medical care because their parent said no" is a wild statement!!!
Children should not need parental permission for medical care!! This doesn't just apply to life or death care*! A pregnant teen should be able to get an abortion without parental permission! Let teens go on birth control without parental permission! A kid should be able to see a doctor about a mental condition that is harming them and get it treated, even if their parent "doesn't believe it's real".
KIDS SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE MEDICAL AUTONOMY!!!!!
*it should be noted that the reasons I list after this can also be considered life or death, as a lack of access to them can be deadly.
what if i told uou we could have so much more you and i
Controversially young boyfriend: Ryland Grace (age: ~35+)
y'all need to relearn the word erratic and stop using schizophrenic/bipolar/psychotic as a replacement
y'all need to relearn the word particular and stop using ocd as a replacement
People need to relearn the word "egocentric" and stop using narcissist/narc as a replacement.
People need to relearn the word "impulse" and stop using "intrusive thought" as a replacement
People need to relearn the word "lying" and stop using "gaslighting" as a replacement
anon hater just accused me of (among other things) "encouraging kids to install malware on their parents' computers". I don't remember ever doing that but it sounded like a fun concept for a post so here are some ideas for things to install on your parents' computers!
a custom DNS resolver that blocks access to Fox News and other right-wing propaganda outlets
a keylogger to capture the admin password for your router so you can disable parental controls
a VPN or a virtual machine running the Tor browser to bypass access restrictions and age verification checks
your own "parental controls" browser extension, set up to send you notifications if your parents visit websites that indicate they might be spying on you (e.g. Life360)
a userscript that adds a fake virus warning popup to the donation pages of fascist political parties
have fun! make sure to do loads of reading and learn how things work so you can break them safely and effectively!
oh, and anon, my advice to you is never stab a man who collects knives
@solipseismic thank u for the insight 🫡
oh my god there’s a Great Dane/Whippet cross for adoption nearby. they’ve done it. they’ve made the Least Dane I’ve been dreaming of all these years
she needs to live in my house