welcome friends of space

they/them

[queerasiniloveyou]

hi! welcome!

Hello, my name is cy, i use they/them pronouns am a lesbian femme fag, a queer boydyke. i’m in my early 20s.

i will be posting queer history (majority lesbian and butch/femme history), kink education, etc depending on how this evolves

this is a sideblog for @cerealbastard

dni terfs, minors, identity gerrymanderers, anyone interacting with the jkr content, etc.

[lilcowzia]

why is it that ppl hear "fetish" and immediately think "devoid of morals" like ur genuinely not making sense. ppl dont actually become inhuman and beast-like when theyre turned on, thats something we are told bc it aligns with christian patriarcal values, u know that right? desire isnt actually bad. it doesnt make you evil, or incapable of having/respecting boundaries

[lilcowzia]

i got a response to this abt how men get horny and "lose their minds" and "causes" them to behave vile. i rlly rlly neeeeed ppl to understand that men behaving inappropriately when turned on is something they are *choosing* to do, and when you equate that to human nature you are enabling them and diminishing the seriousness of that choice

[annabelle--cane]

what I mean: "sexual intercourse" is as much a social construct as "romantic courtship," and you discover this very quickly as a queer person if you try to talk to able bodied straight cis people who literally think the only thing that counts as Actual Sex is penis-in-vagina penetration, like they call oral "foreplay" it's so dire. various people have a lot of vested interest in cleanly defining "sex" vs "not sex" for a whole slew of reasons (ex. censorship dodging and enforcing, conferring the social clout of virginity and prowess, finding and closing loopholes about premarital sex, deciding what relationships "count" as serious partnerships, ligating what is general assault vs sexual assault vs Something That's Definitely Probably Fine And Not Sexual At All, Actually, etc.), and it's really not something you can just fall back on as obvious common sense that people are dumb for questioning.

what I say: sex isn't real and you can't have it

[infectiouspiss]

take your wedding ring off that's literally fetish gear and you're wearing it in public you disgusting freak nobody wants to see that

[intersexfairy]

shoutout to the butch twinks and the femme bears. the futches and the bear twinks. the soft butches and hard femmes. the femmes & butches who aren't women or lesbians. the cis/het cross-dressers. the GNC intersex people, regardless of cis/transness.

i love what you've done with gender. keep queering it up, and don't let anyone tell you who to be. your identity and self expression is for you to decide.

[bisexualfemme]

Quotes about femme [queer] men in Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg, p. 32 & p. 300.

[samarashoot]

[id: “The other femmes – male and female – looked at me differently. As the world beat the stuffing out of us, they tried in every way to protect and nurture our tenderness. My capacity for tenderness was what they’d seen.”

“I ran my fingertips over the dark wood near my thigh. ‘I love them so much, too. But what gets it for me is high femme. It’s funny – it doesn’t matter whether it’s women or men – it’s always high femme that pulls me by the waist and makes me sweat.’”]

[stjohnstarling]

The position I occupy online is interesting because I can so clearly see that the internet has this deep artificial division between Sex Internet (where the porn lives) and Not Sex Internet (where we put everything else), even on websites with few formal barriers around sex; and someone like me, who produces work where sex and eroticism are central, but who is taking an approach that straddles the line between the pornographic and the literary/artistic, does not easily fit into either camp.

Right now, sex in art is relegated to a separate, other space, one that hides from reflection and thought. Almost no one right now sees sex and the psychology of eroticism & pleasure as a subject worthy of serious artistic engagement. For eroticism to only be expressed in the context of porn, that is a sign of powerful and widespread sexual shame.

[ratbastarddotfuck]

*putting my hand in the cavernous space between what you are and what you pretend to be, and wiggling it around* woah haha is there meant to be that much emptiness here? lol are you like okay bestie? omg this kind of tickles my hand does this tickle your nothing? #yournothing <3

[gatheringbones]

the second I realize an author is playing around with images and dynamics associated with being stone and is exploring the eroticism that surrounds stone lesbianism in particular the hyperfocus activates, it’s just one of those things straight writing has no language for, it’s straight person shrimp colors, it’s always so fucking good

[gatheringbones]

and it’s not even the eroticism of will they/won’t they (allow me to touch them) so much as it’s, how the state of being truly and properly leather-raincoat-in-shower stone is always juxtaposed against the hairline fractures where you can see what’s under it, and where you fit into that, and what the both of you plan to do about it.

it’s not death and the maiden. it’s not a kidnapped bride story. it isn’t pride and prejudice. it’s profoundly alien 🌝

[shrineofflesh]

oh! I get it! it's because feeling attraction to people is a special kind of torture! and you can either let that feeling wash over you and sink deep into it (masochism) or punish them for making you feel that way (sadism)

[queerasiniloveyou]

niche femme positivity post✨💛

hey, shout out to trans femme lesbians who don’t see themself in butch-femme tumblr and who really don’t see themself in nsfw tumblr.

femmes who are trans masc, who do have dysphoria and who do want to have top surgery or take hormones or who want to medically transition in any way. femmes who don’t pass as women in the straight world. femmes that see themself as trans first and femme second, for whom femme is not their gender bc their gender is too complicated to stop there.

stone top femmes. femmes who have sexual dysphoria and don’t want you to touch their chests or their cunts. femmes who are particular about the kind of language you use to talk about their bodies; femmes who don’t like it when you call it a pussy, femmes who will let you touch their chest and their nipples, not their tits, or who don’t like certain pet names. femmes that are not and never will be princesses, or mommy, or ma’am, or do butch-femme dd/lg.

femme’s who sexual fantasies don’t circulate through butch-femme tumblr, who’s stone is not romanticized by stone communities online, or who don’t know what they want because they struggle to find the language for it.

femmes who are all these queer things that the community goes out of its way to validate and normalize, and romanticize and sexualize about butches but does not always remember could be true of femmes. femmes who are all these things and still are not butch. femmes who have tried being butch. femmes who never want to try being butch. femmes who are also butch, or something else entirely.

if you don’t see yourself as a caricature in someone else’s fantasy don’t worry. there are more ways to be and be queer and more ways to be happy and more ways to be loved than will ever be written about.

when i say femme-ininity (femme-infinity) is subversive i mean it. take your queer identity and run with it— as far as you can into wherever it takes you.

✨ terfs, radfems, zionists, etc dni ✨

[stonefem]

I wish I had had someone to tell me that there should never be parts of your sex life you have to dissociate to "get through." Maybe it's obvious to other people but I literally could not conceive of sex where I didn't have to reciprocate physically. In my circles it was a given: you either want to touch your partner, or you don't love them. It was the unspoken truth that no one in "real life" was always-the-bottom, and my private high fem fantasy stories were considered immature at best, fetishistic at worst. In my world, I was not permitted to even conceive of having that boundary, only to dream of it, guiltily.

None of my past partners, I am absolutely certain, would have wanted to have sex with me if they had known what happened to my internal state when I topped. But I was so desperate to be loved, to be wanted, I tried to become their fantasy of what I should be. Because I really did love them! But it was wrong to deceive them. It couldn't last. I couldn't keep it up, the real me would slip through the cracks.

There is something about stone which is repulsive to queer people outside the scene. It is alienating and strange to them. How can you be a gay woman, if you don't want to fuck women? How can you be a gay woman, if you don't want to be fucked by women? It's a repression to be overcome, a Freudian repression, that must be diagnosed by psychoanalysis and cured by exposure therapy-- "You'll learn to like it. It's a part of growing up." It's not a boundary, it's a personality flaw. A red flag. An ick.

If you live in that world, it's hard to imagine any other. But you try, because it's essential to your survival. Little etchings of stone, like a medieval illuminator who has never seen a giraffe, but has heard a fourth-hand description of one. The stone world is as unreal to you as the giraffe is to the monk-- you will never see it, and it might not even be real.

How many failed relationships does it take to reach the realization that you cannot deceive your way to being loved? How long can you ignore the voice in your head who begs, don't ask me to do this, please, don't ask me to do this? How small can you make yourself? How empty?

The stone world is real. It's out there, and I've seen it. I've been there as a tourist and now I hope to make it my home. I'll build a house right here, and put my name on the mailbox. I can't let you in, not yet-- I haven't finished unpacking-- but we can sit on the porch, and talk. I'll make you tea. You can put your feet up. It's a good little house. It's mine, and there's a lock on the door. Someday, someday, I'll have 'em cut you a key.

[queerasiniloveyou]

“The deaths of these 81,542 New Yorkers, who were despised and abandoned, who did not have rights or representation, who died because of the neglect of their government and families, has been ignored. This gaping hole of silence has been filled by the deaths of 2,752 people murdered by outside forces. The disallowed grief of twenty years of AIDS deaths was replaced by ritualized and institutionalized mourning of the acceptable dead. In this way, 9/11 is the gentrification of AIDS. The replacement of deaths that don’t matter with the deaths that do. It is the centerpiece of supremacy ideology, the idea that one person’s life is more important than another’s. That one person deserves rights that another does not deserve. That one person deserves representation that the other cannot be allowed to access. That one person’s death is negligible if he or she was poor, a person of color, a homosexual living in a state of oppositional sexual disobedience, while another death matters because that person was a trader, cop, or office worker presumed to be performing the job of Capital."

Sarah Schulman, Gentrification of the Mind: Witness to a Lost Generation

[a-delicate-touch]

gentle reminder that masochism isn't a competition. it's okay if you have low tolerance for pain or other sensations, it's okay if you safeword quickly, and it's okay to participate in bdsm play even if you can only last in a scene for a little while. you also don't have to be pushed to your absolute limit every time if that's not something you desire. sometimes we just want softer, milder play & that's okay too.

[huckleberrycomics]

(A better formatted version lol!)

Hi all!

Super excited to debut my zine with @notaclevernamer on October 24! It comes with super cute lil stickers and talks about some of the following, all geared towards trans men!

- Safe sex and STIs

- healthy relationships

- prosthetics for trans men

- your body and boundaries!

And whatever else we could cram into 36 pages!

It’ll be debuting at Canzine this year for $15 CAD per copy (including stickers) and afterwards we will be making it available as a PDF if there is demand!

Thank you lovelies and have a great day!

[huckleberrycomics]

📣📣📣 ANNOUNCEMENT! 📣📣📣

The PDF is now available for pay by donation!

Click the above link to read it! Thank you for all the support! <3

Note: we made it “pay by donation” so that trans youth are able to access this information more easily, but if you are a person of means we would love it if you would kick us a couple of bucks. We both worked super hard on it and anything is helpful!

If you want to check out the rest of my Gumroad shop click here!

[blackqueerblog]

FACTS!

[heathenvampires]

Additions: if your viral load is suppressed by medication to the point it’s undetectable, it’s considered untransmittable, even without condoms. Children with HIV+ carriers are usually given medication when they’re born, to make sure any of the virus doesn’t take hold (which we also do to adults who fear they’ve been exposed, it’s called PEP ((Post Exposure Prophylaxis)), which is a month of medication and must be started within 72 hours of exposure).

(There’s also PreP - Pre Exposure Prophylaxis, which is taking medication if you feel you are at risk of being exposed to HIV, whether through sexual partners or sharing injection needles)

This is why we need universal free healthcare - so people can go on and have happy, healthy lives despite the HIV diagnosis. Nobody should die or live in fear when the treatment is so damn simple and effective.

[flyonthewallmedstudent]

HIV is not as deadly as it once was in the 1980s-1990s. 

There’s been a lot of progress in this. So long as you’re taking your medications (anti-retrovirals), it’s essentially become another chronic disease like diabetes or COPD etc. HIV patients nowadays are living into their 60s and 70s and are more likely to die of cardiovascular disease rather than opportunistic infections or AIDS defining illnesses. 

If the HIV viral load is undetectable, then your CD4 counts (your white cells that are affected by the virus) should normalise. Such that you’re no different to the general population when it comes to infection risk.

Yes, we should all still be precautious, but it’s no longer a death sentence. 

Stigma remains because of how it is transmitted.

[thesaltofcarthage]

We need to share this information as widely as possible.

Silence still Equals Death.

[sanctimonstrous]

i think height differences are cute but automatically associating being tall with being dominant is so embarrassingly heterosexual