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‘Queer’ was reclaimed as an umbrella term for people identifying as not-heterosexual and/or not-cisgender in the early 1980s, but being queer is more than just being non-straight/non-cis; it’s a political and ideological statement, a label asserting an identity distinct from gay and/or traditional gender identities.People identifying as queer are typically not cis gays or cis lesbians, but bi, pan, ace, trans, nonbinary, intersex, etc.: we’re the silent/ced letters. We’re the marginalised majority within the LGBTQIA+ community, and‘queer’ is our rallying cry.
And that’s equally pissing off and terrifying terfs and cis LGs.
There’s absolutely no historical or sociolinguistic reason why ‘queer’ should be a worse slur than ‘gay.’ Remember how we had all those campaigns to make people stop using ‘gay’ as a synonym for ‘bad’?
Yet nobody is suggesting we should abolish ‘gay’ as a label. We accept that even though ‘gay’ sometimes is and historically frequently was used in a derogatory manner, mlm individuals have the right to use that word. We have ad campaigns, twitter hashtags, and viral Facebook posts defending ‘gay’ as an identity label and asking people to stop using it as a slur.
Whereas ‘queer’ is treated exactly opposite: a small but vocal group of people within feminist and LGBTQIA+ circles insists that it’s a slur and demands that others to stop using it as a personal, self-chosen identity label.
Why?
Because “queer is a slur” was invented by terfs specifically to exclude trans, nonbinary, and intersex people from feminist and non-heterosexual discourse, and was subsequently adopted by cis gays and cis lesbians to exclude bi/pan and ace people.
It’s classic divide-and-conquer tactics: when our umbrella term is redefined as a slur and we’re harassed into silence for using it, we no longer have a word for what we are allowing us to organise for social/political/economic support; we are denied the opportunity to influence or shape the spaces we inhabit; we can’t challenge existing community power structures; we’re erased from our own history.
I’m not kidding. Cis LGs have literally taken historical evidence of queer people’s involvement in the LGBT rights struggle and photoshopped it to erase us:
Pro tip: when you alter historical evidence to deny a marginalised group empowerment, you’re one of the bad guys.
“Queer is a slur” is used by terfs and cis gays/lesbians to silence the voices of trans/nonbinary/intersex/bi/pan/ace people in society and even within our own communities, to isolate us and shame us for existing.
“Queer is a slur” is saying “I am offended by people who do not conform to traditional gender or sexual identities because they are not sexually available to me or validate my personal identity.”
“Queer is a slur” is defending heteronormativity.
“Queer is a slur” is frankly embarrassing. It’s an admission of ignorance and prejudice. It’s an insidious discriminatory discourse parroted uncritically in support of a divisive us-vs-them mentality targeting the most vulnerable members of the LGBTQIA+ community for lack of courage to confront the white cis straight men who pose an actual danger to us as individuals and as a community.
Tl;dr:
I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m too old for this shit.
I know I keep reblogging posts like this, but it matters to me. “Queer is a slur” is a TERF dogwhistle, and a lot of the younger generation is falling for it. Please pay attention to history and ask questions about who’s behind social media campaigns that undermine the inclusivity of your community.
Queer is an excellent word, especially when your identity doesn’t fit neatly within one little label. Queer is also an explicit rejection of normative expectations sexuality and gender. It’s radical as fuck.
This reminds me of a party I went to last year. I was standing with some friends, chatting, and someone said something that indirectly implied that sexism exists. Some trivial recounting of the basic facts of daily life for most women. Something so mild, so uncontroversial, so mundane that I don’t even remember what it was.
Suddenly, this man standing on the outskirts of our conversational circle piped up with “actually, I think men are more discriminated against than women these days.”
All conversation died.
I turned to look at him and he had this smug, insufferable grin on his face, relishing this moment, expecting us to waste our time and energy refuting this ridiculous thing he had just said.
The Devil’s Advocate was among us.
And, in my mind, I saw the next 15+ minutes playing out. The parade of facts and statistics in a vain attempt to defend ourselves, our gender, and to prove that misogyny is real. The glib, snide denials from some shithead who is getting off on our pain and frustration. The Gish Gallop of bullshit that would take a whole evening to properly dismantle. It was depressing and overwhelming. I hated it. I had to kill it before it began.
So I looked him dead in the eye and I said “OK,“ shrugged, and just walked away.
Nothing I have ever said to another human being has ever been so crushing. As I walked away, I watched the smug grin vanish and confusion and anxiety set in. The rest of the group turned their backs to him and carried on as if he had never spoken - as if he was invisible. He was still staring at me when I walked over to another friend and told her what he had said. I pointed him out for her and made direct eye contact with him while we both laughed.
tl;dr: Don’t feed the troll. Let it perish, cold and hungry, in the wasteland of your indifference. It is weak and you are strong. Live your best life.
Here is some advice that I feel qualified to give. Make your goals for the year some shit you actually want to do. Then you can finish those goals and be like I finished ALL of my goals this year and feel all accomplished when what you really accomplished was doing a whole bunch of a thing you were already going to do. Life Hack.
To recap: I started the year with a medium-sized goal of reading 50 books and seeing 100 unique movies at the theater.
As I mentioned in May, some of these books were short so I went above and beyond for the year. I expect I’ll finish 1-2 more books before 2019 shows its face in these parts.
As of May, I had completed 29/50 books so I maintained the same basic pace for the second half of the year. Books marked ⚢ have wlw content.
Small Country - Gael Faye
⚢ Girl Made of Stars - Ashley Herring Blake
⚢ Ship It - Britta Lundin
⚢ Love & Other Carnivorous Plants - Florence Gonsalves
⚢ The Book of Essie - Meghan MacLean Weir
⚢ When Katie Met Cassidy - Camille Perri
⚢ Under the Udala Trees - Chinelo Okparanta
⚢ The Miseducation of Cameron Post (This was a re-read)
⚢ Fat Angie - E.E. Charlton-Trujillo (For Pride month, I only read books with WLW content)
What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding - Kristin Newman (My girlfriend and I broke up over the conversation that happened when she saw I read this. Turns out we have different views on kids.)
⚢ Ramona Blue - Julie Murphy
⚢ The Other Side of Paradise - Staceyann Chin (I met Staceyann Chin when I was about 20 years old and she told me I should quit smoking so I did.)
⚢ Of Fire and Stars - Audrey Coulthurst (This is my favorite book I read this year.)
⚢ Solve for i - A. E. Dooland
Console Wars - Blake J. Harris
⚢ Taking Flight - Sierra Maley (This is a reread)
⚢ Georgia Peaches and other Forbidden Fruit (This is a reread)
⚢ Great - Sara Benincasa
⚢ The Gap of Time - Jeanette Winterson
Little Slaughterhouse on the Prairie - Harold Schecter
⚢ Visions and Warnings - Katheryn Ewers Bundy
⚢ The Brightsiders - Jen Wilde
⚢ Ive Aberdeens Letter to the World - Ashley Herring Blake (This. Book. Slayed. Me.)
⚢ Leah on the Offbeat - Becky Albertalli
⚢ White Houses - Amy Bloom
We Should All Be Feminists - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (The audio from this book is in a Beyonce song)
⚢ People Like Us - Dana Mele
⚢ The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy - Mackenzi Lee (The thing is I really liked this book but then remembered nothing about it and so I might read it again even though I read it a month ago. I read it when I was changing medications and I don’t think it stuck.)
⚢ Drum Roll, Please - Lisa Jenn Bigelow
⚢ Pretend Girlfriend - Lily Craig (This book is truly terrible)
Stay with Me - Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀ (A friend was reading this and mentioned it and so I picked it up and tore through it. Loved it.)
⚢ A Swedish Christmas Tale - A.E. Radley
Total ⚢ count for the year: 47
Movies watched in the theater this year: 100*
These are (still) not in order because no matter how I added them, Google Keep did whatever it wanted with the information. I have used the following rating system for your and my enjoyment:
✪ - Not Worth the Free Ticket
✪ ✪ - I don’t hate it
✪ ✪ ✪ - I’d watch it again on Netflix
✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ - I already watched it again (or plan to before it leaves the theater)
✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ - This Movie Has EVERYTHING
*I fell asleep during Wreck-It Ralph 2 because of my medication but I think I slept for less than my threshold of 20 minutes. Because I am not sure, I am seeing another movie tonight just to be really honest with myself and all of you.(Rachel)
