Peter Solarz
KIROKAZE
tumblr dot com
@theartofmadeline
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blake kathryn
Xuebing Du
cherry valley forever
Mike Driver
RMH
PR's Tumblrdome
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Sade Olutola
pixel skylines
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
wallacepolsom
Product Placement
hello vonnie
trying on a metaphor
Misplaced Lens Cap
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@questionably-offensive
"but you need gender labels! what if someone asks?" ill lie to them. i'll lie to them all. Everyone will have contradictory views on my gender and it will be beautiful.
we're still pretty small tbh but, Doin' Our Part!
followers! attack! :D
Gender is a shell game. What is a man? Whatever a woman isn't. What is a woman? Whatever a man is not. Tap on it and it's hollow. Look under the shells: it's not there.
Naomi Alderman, The Power
- dracula castlevania
I-??????? I can't really get that my brain hurts
Grammatically speaking, Pronouns are a game we play with society.
A crew of sailors discuss their ship. "her mast is strong but the sails need changin. She's a beaut though."
I see a fancy rock on my hike. I pick it up, turn to my friend and say "Look at him, he's so handsome"
A group of our sparkling Gay gentlemen meet up for a night out. "Girl, Daniel's serving up looks tonight. Queen! She's stunning love. She's killin it."
My neighbor needs a cup of sugar, I take some to them.
My lesbian friend wants to introduce me to her fellow female partner. "There's Star, he's wearing the blue jacket. Let's catch up with him"
What's real is how respect for one another makes us feel. He/him lesbians deserve your respect.
Pronouns are also more related to gender presentation than gender itself for some people!
Lesbians calling themselves "fathers", "husbands", "boyfriends", "handsome", and other words associated with men are a part of their gender presentation as masculine women as well as their reclamation of the idea that "lesbians just want to be men". He/Him pronouns is just a part of that!
thank you @national-shitpost-registry
We have GOT to stop being assholes to people with receding and balding hairlines. There's not a single person that it can't affect. It affects trans men, particularly on hormones, it affects trans women, particularly those not on hormones, it affects people with endocrine issues, something that's becoming more prevalent and common, and it can affect people without a particular cause, including cis women. It's a normal part of being human and we NEED to stop dehumanizing and humiliating ppl for it
My bf started losing his hair in his early 20s and the effect it's had on him is devastating.
He's an actor and he was dropped by his agent after he stopped hiding his hair loss. The roles he was cast in narrowed and shifted from more heroic characters to villains, and eventually he became so miserable about it that he stopped going to auditions altogether.
He used to enjoy dyeing his hair bright colours, and he lost that means of self expression. It alienated him from his own appearance, which knocked him back in coming out and exploring his queerness. The way he talks about it often feels dysmorphic. He says shaving makes him feel like he's "rotting" - like he's "scraping the mold off [his] head".
I've seen drunk people and teenagers yell at him in the street and mock his baldness. I've seen people come up to him and slap his head or touch it without asking for permission. I've witnessed this behaviour from other trans people and women who I know would absolutely kick off if he took such a degrading or entitled attitude towards a part of their body, but seem to think it's OK to do it to him.
Since going bald people perceive him as more masculine. He feels people are more suspicious of him. Women are less likely to approach him. Folks are quicker to put him in a box or misread his behaviour as aggressive or threatening, when the reality is that he's neurodivergent and can't conform to rigid social norms.
Baldness is a heavily gendered characteristic. If someone is conventionally masculine enough and/or is protected by other intersecting powers and privileges (eg wealth) then baldness can reinforce their maleness and the harm to their social standing is minimised. But if their performance of maleness is complicated by something like queerness or disability, it creates a dissonance. They have what is perceived as a hypermasculine trait standing in sharp contrast with their refusal/failure to perform normative, idealised masculinity.
And that's how baldness is typically read - as failure. Especially when it exists outside of wealthy, successful, heterosexual masculinity but tbh even there too - just look at all the jokes about Jeff Bezos' baldness or Elon Musk getting hair plugs. It's similar to insulting Trump over his weight. Like yeah fuck those guys but all you're really doing is revealing to the fat and bald people in your life that you think their bodies are deserving of mockery.
And God help you if you're a bald woman. All women with receding hairlines are at a huge risk from transmisogyny.
Sorry for the essay. Baldness is absolutely a body neutrality issue. It's an ageism issue, and a trans issue, and I WISH there was a broader recognition of this.
I hope the next person who mocks your boyfriend's hair loss gets eaten by two bears.
HAPPY INDIGENOUS PEOPLES' DAY TO THE RIGHTFUL CUSTODIANS OF TURTLE ISLAND AND THE RIGHTFUL CUSTODIANS OF OCCUPIED PALESTINE! SOLIDARITY WITH THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLES OF THE WORLD!
I know it's an issue that boys are not taught emotional maturity amd women are expected to take care of them but please do not think that therefore it must be true that women ARE taught emotional maturity. Like please take a look at all of our mothers and tell me you honest to god believe that
Oh, woe is me! To be transformed, transmogrified, shapeshifted, bewitched, and bemoaned! To be naught but a gourd!
Being asexual is like yeah I’m ace. Except for my one intense kink that my asexuality doesn’t apply to.
Prev I hope you don’t mind me reblogging this but this is SO TRUE and voices a lot of the frustrations I have towards acephobia as well
I also identify as grey ace, and that feeling of being both “sort of acceptable” because sex COULD be on the table, and both invalid because that’s not how allo ppl view ace people, is SO difficult to deal with.
Also happy ace week everyone!!! I love ace people so much we are so resilient.
Being asexual is like yeah I’m ace. Except for my one intense kink that my asexuality doesn’t apply to.
if i heard that a woman aborted a fetus because prenatal screening had revealed a disability that i shared, i would simply not shame her
RIP to people who think bodily autonomy is conditional but im different
i’ve been getting a lot of comments/questions about this post. some is good, some is bad. i’ve decided not to respond individually and instead say:
i said what i said. i wasn’t confused about saying it.
if i found out a woman had aborted a fetus because she found out that fetus had a disability that i have—disabilities that i have firsthand knowledge of being painful, difficult to live with, and often resource-intensive—i would not be angry with her. i would not feel like she doesn’t think people like me should not be alive (unless she actually said so).
fetuses are not little potential “you”s. projecting your own anxieties onto a woman’s abortion (”i wouldn’t have wanted to be aborted” is common reasoning in plenty of pro-life circles; it’s not better here) is invasive and nonsensical.
bodily autonomy isn’t conditional. you don’t know a woman’s exact reason for abortion and you don’t need to. women’s rights to abortion need to be protected, even if you feel icky about some potential reasoning behind an abortion, which you aren’t even fully privy to in the first place.
disabled people should always be in the care of people who have the resources and desire to take care of them. insisting that disabled children be born simply to ease your own moral qualms with abortion is frankly unethical in my opinion, resources are often very slim for disabled people. not to mention our quality of life is often just lower in general. you can argue all you want in the notes about “mild” disabilities but you aren’t the arbiter of what constitutes a mild enough disability to make an abortion terrible and immoral and shame-worthy.
women aren’t vessels. regardless of how morally pure you feel your crusade is, they simply aren’t.
speaking as a disabled person, energy is literally always better spent on changing society—by increasing resources for caretakers and disabled people alike, speaking frankly about quality of life, correcting notions about what disabled people’s lives are like, punishing mistreatment of actual disabled people [not potential ones], and putting research into easing the pain/suffering of people as much as possible—than it is on getting mad about women getting abortions. and it isn’t just better spent that way, it’s just immoral to do the latter.
in conclusion: RIP to people who think bodily autonomy is conditional but im different.
If I believe that everyone should be able to access abortion, at any time, for any reason - and I do! - then that’s also allowing that people may have abortions for reasons I disagree with - and it is none of my fucking business, because it’s not my body.
How would that even work? How could you even enforce that? “Anyone can have an abortion EXCEPT you, because your fetus would be born with a disability”? That’s just nonsensical.
I’m disabled and I’m sick of those anti-bodily autonomy assholes using disabled people as a prop - or those same people using “disabled children” as a euphemism to mean a fetus with fetal abnormalities that are incompatible with life, as a way to prevent people from accessing abortions later in pregnancy.
RIP to people who think bodily autonomy is conditional but I’m different.
No forced pregnancy or forced birth is moral. I don’t care why the force is being applied.
You can advocate for more resources and education so more people are able to care for a disabled child
AND
support complete bodily autonomy and a person’s right to choose in all cases. Even if you personally don’t like it
You can support two things
as someone who is starting a new uni at 23 but is blending in perfectly with the 18-year-olds i'm curious and i need to ask
how old do you look?
older than your age
younger than your age
exactly your age
feel free to reblog and tell me in the tags what age do you get mistaken for, and do you find that to be a bad or a good thing :))
I'm loving the dick n balls results here but apparently a huge amount of us either don't look as young as we think or have had our perception of how aging looks dramatically skewed.
What I mean by this is not that anecdotal experiences of being told "you look younger than your age" are wrong but either this poll is in some way self selecting for people with that trait, or the general perception of what age looks like is skewed by an outside factor: for example the widespread use of actors who are in their early twenties playing high school students (real age range 13-18), the general mass media grouping of ages 40-60 as more or less identical looking, USA cultural infestation, etc.
@cipheramnesia racial stereotypes play a large factor in the assumptions people make about a person's age.
In a white patriarchal culture, people's perceptions of age, much like their perceptions of beauty or gender, are predicated on conventional white standards of youthfulness and beauty. People of East Asian descent who have sparse body hair and slim builds are, in white dominant societies, often perceived as teenagers well beyond their teen years. Very dark skinned older Black people are often perceived as younger than white people of a similar age because highly melanated skin is less vulnerable to sun damage and liver spots.
There was a post a while back comparing the way makeup artists "aged-up" a young Alexander Siddig in an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine to the way Alexander Siddig looks now that that he is actually older. Suffice it to say the real Siddig aged far better than the fictional Siddig.
Many people noted that the makeup artists "aged him like a white guy." They made assumptions about the amount of sun damage his skin would show and how much elasticity his skin would lose and the amount his hairline would recede and how much weight he would gain. These assumptions turned out to be completely off base for a person with Alexander Siddig's genetics.
.
Clothes also play a huge factor in people's perception of age. People often rely more on clothing than physical attributes to estimate age. Without some obvious physical sign of aging like gray hair, crows feet, etc. a woman who shops at Chico's or Talbots will probably be perceived as older than one who shops at American Eagle or Urban Outfitters based solely on how she dresses.
"This is Ankh-Morpork, you know. We've got extra pronouns here."
GNU Terry Pratchett
The full quote is fascinating though, and adds an interesting context as it's Angua (a werewolf) and Carrot (human, but raised by dwarves) discussing a dwarf colleague, Cheery.
"Female? He told you he was female?" "She," Angua corrected. "This is Ankh-Morpork, you know. We've got extra pronouns here." She could smell his bewilderment... "Well, I would have though she'd have the decency to keep it to herself," Carrot said finally. "I don't think it's very clever, you know, to go around drawing attention to the fact." "Carrot, I think you might have something wrong with your head," said Angua. "What?" "I think you might have it stuck up your bum."
Sir Terry Pratchett - "Feet of Clay"
This is CARROT being the asshole. Carrot who has, throughout all the prior books, been depicted as basically the best of all possible people. He is noble, brave, considerate, kind. He is the good guy in the entire City...
... and yet, he grew up dwarf, and has picked up their more conservative views on gender identity.
Discworld dwarves start out in the books as basically a people without visible gender differences (thanks to the woman growing beards just like the men) and using "he/him" pronouns as their default. Anything else is seen as breaking the most basic of social conventions. (Dwarf dating is described early on as being two dwarves who like each other spending an inordinately long time trying to find out, as tactfully as possible, what gender the other dwarf is)
Carrot does immediately adopt the "she" pronoun for Cheery, which is but wishes she didn't make such a fuss about it. He's prepared to tolerate her choices, but he doesn't APPROVE of them, and thinks that that is enough.
Carrot, because he IS Carrot, does learn to open his mind on this subject, perhaps his final frontier of bias, but I do love that it's addressed as something he has to work on, and succeed.
And to Terry Pratchett's credit what started out as a throwaway joke about dwarf sex, gradually becomes a multi-volume subplot which is a fascinating exploration of gender and social identity as more dwarves start to "come out" as being female, and not just identifying as female, but changing their form of dress to something which matches who they are (they keep their beards though, because to a dwarf, that has nothing to do with gender, and everything to do with being a dwarf) and how their society has to adjust, with differing levels of comfort, to this new reality.
Prismo with Fionna: Oh sorry, if you're unconfortable with that skirt I'lll just give you some new shorts don't worry girl I got you!
Prismo with Simon: Hey I'm gonna take you out of the shower while still completely naked, put you in a mumu of your past self you're desperately trying to move on from, and not even give you underwear or shoes so you can have your toes, your hairy sweaty juicy hungry vagina and your butt out in the open for every dimension you hop in to see bc idc
Rather than distinctly male or female, the human brain is much more like the heart, kidneys and lungs – basically the same no matter the sex of the body it's in.
rb to make a biological essentialist mad <3
“This collapse is a telltale sign of a problem known as publication bias. Small, early studies which found a significant sex difference were likelier to get published than research finding no male-female brain difference.”
It is inherently fun and sexy to say statements that swap the traditional genders of pronouns and terms mid-statement, such as: "I'm going to make him my wife" "She's my boyfriend" "Who says a guy can't be a pretty princess?" "That girl's the coolest dude I've ever met" "She's a madman who has to be stopped" "It's not his fault he's a material girl" Gender is a set of watercolors and the prettiest shades come from mixing the paints together.
My butch and I are both lesbians. We are, neither of us, men.
But I call him my boyfriend. I call him my boytoy, my boy, sir, Mr., guy. Cause this language makes him happy. It supports his gender and expression, and it makes him happy.
Butches of all flavors and types have been using he/him pronouns and masculine language forever. Butches have been called boy, guy, boyfriend. Butches have used "traditionally masculine" names like Mitch, Ed, Mac, Joe.
Cause guess what?
Language is fake! It's all made up! If it makes you happy, use it! Wanna call yourself "boy," even if you're not a man? Do it! Wanna be called "boyfriend," even if you're not a guy? Go for it!
official anti terf post
Yes, Spain!!!!
SPAIN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR???
no one is going to be doing this and even if they were literally who cares. Ouhhh noooo, someone gets 3-5 days off a month aaughh how scaryyyy. Society will collapse aaarrrghhhh.
Do you know how often I call in sick from my retail job just because the vibes weren’t aligned that day? Who cares.
If you get bothered by someone who you believe is taking advantage of an accommodation who doesn’t need it perhaps you yourself need it. Ie: you’re mad that smokers get a ton of ten minute breaks just cause they smoke. Maybe you need a ton of ten minute breaks
