ContraryMary

Heaps of trash.

[doromoon]

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency / Rowdy3

You don’t wanna come over here

[xcopy]

Midweek roll call - everyone still alive?

[tm37-archive]

[directoaltacho-deactivated20201]

[sarahmaraerobson]

“The Favorite” by Omar Rayyan

[jade-cooper]

Favorite what? Demon?!

[cheesey-toast]

Loving the fact that whatever it is is wearing a matching flower.

[221cbakerstreet]

18th century Lilo and Stitch

[ringingofraevolution]

so i looked up some of this guys other stuff and I

uh

what the fuck

sexy parrot girls yeah ok

oh look the demon has little babies

[rooksandravens]

HOLY WOW IT GOT EVEN BETTER.

[dduane]

…Goodness.

[turretangel]

Dearie me, what is this that just popped up on my dash.

[estrellafiore-deactivated201711]

What is that orange dragon doing? Yoga or ballet? 😱

[jumpingjacktrash]

his best!

[jewishdragon]

I went to his website and he has a photo of himself:

I love??? so much???

[gingerjab]

The orange dragon thing is obviously having a spa day, damn.

We all deserve a little pampering.

[baetology]

Ya MCM said ew when you told him you were on your period. He’s 27.

[gcodegfb]

That shit is forever nasty lol

[strangertingshappen-deactivated]

How

[gcodegfb]

Bruh like what are you supposed to do with it? Play in it? Come on now

[baetology]

Ya MCM thinks periods are nasty because he can’t play in it. He was born in 1986.

[chiefxwill]

periods arent nasty but woman arent supposed to have them its actually poor diet that causes them look it up just a fun fact 

[baetology]

Ya MCM thinks periods are a result of a poor diet. He’s over 18.

[the-rhyming-ape]

This nigga thinks periods are like optional. And was confident enough to try to tell a woman with a vagina that that was a fact. The internet is wild bruh.

[marqweabyss]

W i l d. and he deadass.

[blackboyjoy]

…………

I’m so glad I had comprehensive health classes in school. I couldn’t imagine being that dense

[this-lov3-is]

Actually, he’s not wrong. For Black women, a period is called such because it should LITERALLY appear to be a drop of blood, hence a PERIOD. Heavy blood flow is caused from hemorrhaging in the system, which isn’t natural. That’s why it hurts, as I would imagine. It really does involve diet.

[baetology]

Ya MCM thinks black women menstruate in a different way than other women.

[sugarmacaron]

I am literally going to end my life. It’s called a period as in period of time. A period of time I wish your mothers had not missed

[pronounrespecter]

i am genuinely having an out of body experience

[castielsteenwolf]

Sometimes I see this post and think to myself it can’t be real, but yes there are thousands and thousands of people in the world who genuinely believe woman shouldn’t get periods it’s our “diet” this is a thing.

[onlyblackgirl]

Just want to remind everyone that homeboy up there believes that because another man told him so, thus it must be true.

[dinoshade]

it’s actually called a menstrual cycle so the period = drop of blood is a REACH my guy

[lugi0420-deactivated20190328]

How are some men so fucking stupid

[itsvondell-deactivated20180104]

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.

My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

[chromalogue]

I’m rather fond of “It’s not rocket surgery” and “not the sharpest egg in the attic,” but my all-time favourite is, “…until the cows freeze over.”

[bowtochris]

You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it,

[yourresidentginger]

my anxiety has a loophole that if somebody is else is equally or more uncomfortable I develop the sudden ability to Do The Thing

[castielsteenwolf]

i cant go and ask for more ketchup for myself but if my friend wants more ketchup im out of my seat in a second

[thehotgirlproject]

The mom friend override

[howlsmovingumbrellastand]

I’ve finally managed to make a vine compilation short enough that Tumblr will let me post it!

[solace-y]

I thought it wasn’t possible to crack an egg in your palm like that how to fuck did he

[selesnyapokemonprofessor]

This is a good one 12/10

[toomucherin]

this is legit my favorite vine compilation ever, i’m crying

[vimesbootstheory]

#Erin your friend Jackie is in it and it’s a different vine than usual! – lmao omg elvira your tags are the best

what do other people have against subtitles? like bitch,.. my ears are Not Friends with my brain, let me have my captions

[liraelclayr]

No, YOU’RE crying

[vaspider]

If you just needed something nice today, here it is.

[parrisblood]

oh my god

[ptrckstmph-blog]

it doesn’t matter how many “pretend to be dating” fics i read, i’m always fucking in it headfirst every time and i fall for that shit every time. i know the pattern i know the plot twists i know what’s gonna happen but every single fucking time i’m fucking on the edge of my seat wide-eyed whispering like “what’s gonna happen are they gonna fall in love” to myself like of course they are you fucking idiot this happens EVERY TIME but as soon as i see the description and it’s like “x person and x person pretend to do the dating” it’s eternal sunshine of the stupidest fucking mind over here

[digoxin-purpurea]

apply for jobs you’re not qualified for! audit upper-level classes! get drunk with your TAs! see that poster advertising that lecture series? go there take notes and ask questions! thank the presenter for talking about this topic you love! if the class is full before you register, email the professor and ask if they can squeeze you in! RAISE YOUR HAND! tell the disability accomodation office to do their goddamn job! ask for help! file complaints! go to class in your pajamas and destroy the reading! you got this! you KNOW you got this! be arrogant enough to learn EVERYTHING! take your meds! punch a velociraptor in the dick! fear is useless and temporary! glory is forever! shed your skin and erupt angel wings! help out! spread your sun!

i had a really good morning! you deserve a really good morning! kill anyone who says you don’t and build a throne from their bones!

[sirjefetheboss-deactivated20210]

Oddly inspiring

[canadianblog-deactivated2014072]

[cheekbonered]

“just set a timer for twenty minutes, take a nap!”

yeah but what happens if it takes me a while to get to sleep? what if i need to pee? google says 20 minutes is optimum time for a nap but i don’t think i’ll fall asleep INstantly but if i set it for 30 minutes i might fall asleep quickly and then i’ll be tired for the rest of the day there are too many variables and i am so stressed

[banyeet]

“I’ve been dead for seven years,” is probably the cleverest response to someone saying your hands are cold, ever.

[banyeet]

NEVERMIND

[haedusi]

The Gangsey is complete! Days 15-20 of Inktober.

[tkyle]

Peppa Pig is not here for your lying ass, Susie Sheep.

[randomleighcool-deactivated2017]

BITCH!!! 😂😂😂😂

[its-a-different-world]

THIS IS IN MY TOP 10 FAVORITE CARTOON SCENES BECAUSE SHE GOT SO FREAKIN MAD, LIKE, SHE STRAIGHT SPAZZED MY GIRL SNAPPED AND BARELY SAID A WORD. PISSED.

[thebootydiaries]

millennials are so stupidt,,, like,,.. get off ur ipohne,,,,g o 2 outside,,,,, take an entire shit on the e leaves of the outsides……losten to nature u stupit bicth……u disgustenign,….the real friendship is in person not online,,,….t he only emoji u need is Outside……run and tell that…,,.i miss 1436 when we Talk To Each Other and Die A Lot

[thecoffeediary-deactivated20161]

The excessive misspells are cringe-worthy 😖

[thebootydiaries]

i turned off autocorrect and turned on,,, Auto Real Life Friendship

[textposts-idk]

At least millennials can spell

[thebootydiaries]

the only spell i need is,,,.. T he Spell Of Nature’s Beaty,,,,, kms if u agree..,,

[horrendous-look]

You do realize that you’re using millennial “talk” by using “kms” and “u”, correct? And also, commas (especially so many) are not needed in the statements you’re making. By the way, autocorrect was meant for the millennials, according to your logic. Because I’m just guessing you were alive before the smart phone. Then again, all the things you use today, technology wise, is more than likely here because of the fact people don’t want to go outside but instead want to expand how we think and not how we behave. But, I’m just a millennial so what do I know?

[thebootydiaries]

my young grass hopper,,, do u realize i am Save u…..every morning i break my legs just 2 survive so don’t u dare come at me about intelligents.,… Smart Phones bu t Dumb People..,,,u care about Apple iPhone but i care about the Apple i shoved up my ass,,,, think before u speak

[saltaalyn]

You should think before you speak because you said “kms if u agree” kms, means kill myself, correct(I’m actually not sure)? Also “the Apple I shoved up my ass” why the fuck would you shove an apple up your ass? Also, get off Tumblr if you think people should go outside. Instead of typing that, why don;t you go outside and leave everybody the hell alone

[thebootydiaries]

i didnt riske my life to come on tumblr.com and be disrespected,, listen 2 me.., u put the apple in ur colon because the nature go inside u…into ur heart,smh shaking my honest. we r not the same. u think about bae fleek….i;m thinking about thos beans,,,,u like LSD screen.,, i like EYES screan,goodbye harrypotter0423

[gabberdoodles-7-blog]

How is the aple suposed 2 go to ur heart from ur butt

[thebootydiaries]

digestion boi

[pigeonacademic]

Guys, don’t bother. Booty is a horrible shitposter. By horrible I mean that she fails to make it a funny sort of shitpost. She tries to be funny and fails.

[thebootydiaries]

im screamign why my name booty