The Library

fighting entropy; filled with spite; she/they

[hockeyfinches]

i love Not to jump the gun here but with rozanov’s permission…? i think shane in that scene was feeling fiercely protective over another person for the first time in his life. so bowled over by the intensity of his own emotions that he stumbled back to his hotel room in a daze and immediately jerked off in the shower about it. “what if rozanov got arrested and i had to use my immense hockey wealth to bail him out of jail and it was winter in boston. so he had hypothermia. and he had to live with me while we sorted out the legal situation and i yelled at journalists for him and helped him with his paperwork and hired the best lawyer in the world and nursed him back to health and he was like “hollander……..you saved my life 🥺” and he fucked me soooo hard every night for stress relief (obviously he couldn’t fuck other people. due to the lawsuit) and we fell asleep in each other’s arms afterwards. because there’s only one bed in my apartment and he’s too tall for the couch” stuff like that. normal fantasies

[hockeyfinches]

top ten shane hollander shower fantasies:

• holding ilya’s hand while they cross a busy street full of hazards (potholes, roadworks, etc)

• rescuing ilya from kidnappers (he kicks down the door)

• rescuing ilya from a burning building (bridal carry)

• fighting in a gladiatorial ice hockey arena for ilya’s hand in marriage

• massaging ilya’s bad knee and ilya says with wonderment “wowww wow. shane you’re so good at this… you are better than every physical therapist on earth probably”

• saying “he asked for no pickles” to the mcdonalds cashier

• carrying ilya’s bags

• washing ilya’s hair

• applying o’keefes working hands cream to ilya’s calluses

• fuck or die

[memyselfandi13531]

can i say something mean. #myshane would HATE gay people coming to centaurs games just to support him and ilya. genuinely fucking SEETHING. he's smiling and waving at them but in his head he's just like they don't CARE about hockey they don't CARE they're only here because i'm fucking GAY they're not REAL fans do they even KNOW how good i am god this is SO embarrassing

[eliotheman]

”This portrayal of a marginalized group was wrong then and is wrong now” and “This portrayal of a marginalized group was very progressive for the time period and paved the way for more representation while likely limited by factors outside of the creator’s control” are two statements that can and should ABSOLUTELY coexist and be kept in mind when interacting with older media

[lemonylemus]

Great example

[holy-leapin-splits-batman]

[crabussy]

when you eat a Normal Sandwich (bread meat greens cheese relish) and your body goes ooohhh fuck! oh fuck! what have you done! heartbeat GO! sweating GO! temperature GO! like sorry man I'm just trying to keep you WORKING!!!!!!!! ASS HOLE!

[crabussy]

it’s normal for sandwich to make you feel like you’re dying. this is a normal sandwich experience

[hexabeast]

[thoughtsthinksandthings]

Headcanon that baby Shane has a slight accent when speaking English, and it's for a super unexpected reason.

A few weeks post-partum, Yuna decided that their son should be bilingual. Yuna speaks to Shane in Japanese, and David speaks to him in French. Baby Shane catches on extremely quickly.

It isn’t until baby Shane is enrolled in daycare that the staff notices he has a hard time following directions and making friends.

Yuna and David find it hard to believe. At home, baby Shane is speaking two languages and actively translating between French and Japanese. It’s not until a few weeks later that Yuna comes to the realization.

“David,” she calls from the kitchen after hearing David read Shane a book in French. “Did we ever formally teach this kid English?”

And David is sitting there stunned, because no, no, they did not. Sure, David and Yuna spoke to each other in English, and to their friends and family in English when they visited the house, but they never spoke to Shane in English.

They enroll Shane in an English as a Second Language class (which really should be called English as a third language, in this case). Shane eventually catches up and becomes somewhat fluent in English, but he has this slight hybrid Euro-Asian accent when he speaks it.

[nitewrighter]

Literally every single Neuroscience guy I listen to on audiobooks and podcasts: Multitasking is a lie. You are not more efficient. You're just rapidly switching between tasks and doing all of them slower but your brain is tricking itself into thinking it's more efficient because you get a little dopamine reward when you activate the 'change task' neurons. And you're burning up way more glucose in the process, leaving you more tired with less done. STOP MULTITASKING. JUST DO ONE THING. PLEASE IT'S ONLY WORSENING YOUR ATTENTION SPAN. WE'RE BEGGING YOU, PLEA--

My ADHD: Don't listen to them, babydoll. You are sooooooo efficient and attractive. Whoop. You got an email. Whoop you got a text. Whoop you got a blog ask. WOW look at all the tabs open on this window. Do you even remember what they're all for? Better look through them and close the ones you're not using because you're soooo sexy and efficient. Whoop, email again.

[theprofessional-amateur]

Me when I contact IT and tell them yes I restarted and followed any instructions I could but computer still angry and IT says they are escalating this because it is an actual issue: I am getting a good grade in service desk ticket. Something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

Link to post

[damnnmilkovich]

yeah, I think Shane's got that covered.

[cuckoobirdy]

[fruitviking]

Considering the possibility of Holmes being related to the Addams Family, probably on Morticia's side for the Frenchness

Primarily based on these images

But also because I want Holmes and Morticia to speak French, and for him to fence with Gomez, and teach the kids about poisons and criminals

(The family all adore Watson and find him absolutely fascinating, of course)

[fruitviking]

“Here’s a letter for you, old man,” I announced as I sifted through the morning post one grey day in October. “Not a lot else, I’m afraid.”

Holmes folded down the top of the newspaper he was reading so he could see me. “A letter from whom?”

“Not sure.” I turned it over to study it as best I could. The envelope was thick and expensive, postmarked from America. The ink was rich and black, and it smelled unexpectedly floral, with an odd sulphuric note underneath. “Looks to be a woman’s writing, I’d say.”

“If you would.” He held out a pale hand. I passed him the envelope and he neatly sliced it open with his pocket knife. A single page slipped out onto his breakfast plate. He unfolded it with a flick of his wrist, then smiled. “Ah! Morticia.”

“Morticia?”

“Addams. She is my second cousin.”

I was immediately intrigued, for Holmes so rarely talked about his relatives. It had taken several years after our meeting for him to bring up the subject of his elder brother, who lived and worked barely an hour’s walk away. I wasn’t surprised that a second cousin in America had gone unnoted until now.

“Unusual names run in the family, I see.”

Holmes smirked. “Her grandmother was my great-aunt Séraphine, who met and married a quite singular gentleman named Algernon Frump while travelling. They settled over in the States many years ago, and dear Morticia now resides there with her husband.”

“Why does she write you?”

“She is arranging a sort of family reunion on All Hallow’s Eve. Apparently it has been far too long since we have all seen each other.”

“How long is that?”

“Several years at least. It was certainly before you and I met.” 

“And will you oblige her?”

“I suppose I will.” He folded the letter and placed it neatly back in its envelope, tucking it into his inside pocket. “You’ve been angling for a holiday, my boy. Would this satisfy you?”

“Wouldn’t it be terribly rude?” I asked, startled. “She has invited you, not me.”

He tutted. “Nonsense, Watson! Morticia knows we live together, of course.”

“How?”

“She will have read your book.”

“Oh! Well that is kind of her. But a family reunion, Holmes, I am not—”

“You are my partner and intimate friend. I assure you there are members of the Addams clan with far more tenuous connections, and many of them also of no blood relation. You will not be out of place, and they will be glad to meet you.”

[corviiids]

the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history

[aberrantemotion]

the "what are your pronouns" comic is my fave example.

[k8rgrl]

For those unfamiliar, or simply wanting to see it again:

[fansplaining]

African countries remain largely absent from [K-pop] world-tour schedules. “It’s something we as fans in Nigeria constantly question,” Yusuf told me. “The fan base and the community is getting bigger and bigger in Africa, but every year we don’t get listed for concerts. We don’t really know the reason behind it.” Yusuf’s frustration echoes a wider sentiment expressed by fans online across Reddit and Facebook. “I guess Africa is not part of the world,” one Facebook fan wrote in a discussion about the lack of K-pop concerts in the continent. “It's not that we don't have the infrastructure, but it comes across as ‘Thank you for supporting us, but the company/organisers say we shouldn't tour you guys,’” Reddit user Tiny_Ad6695 posted on the kpop_uncensored subreddit last year. 

In our latest, Tabby Kibugi reports on K-pop fandom in Kenya, Nigeria, and other African nations. As fannish interest skyrockets and fan-led gatherings are popping up at a rapid pace, the industry continues to ignore African fans, rarely scheduling concerts or official events there.

Read the whole piece or listen to an audio version:

African K-Pop Fans Are Building Their Own Spaces

While the K-pop industry largely ignores them, fans in Kenya and Nigeria create K-pop communities for themselves.

[xenosagaepisodeone]

john green didn’t “deserve” the way that early ‘10s tumblr treated him technically, but I feel like the discussion around whether he “deserved” it or not is completely missing the point. he was an adult in a space that was largely recreationally used by teenagers. why would he not get the substitute teacher treatment. what else did you think would occur here.

[lierdumoa]

Early ‘10s tumblr was the indie porn capital of the internet. Tumblr porn reshaped and democratized the internet porn landscape at the height of the sex positivity movement. There is literally a book about this:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56143249-tumblr-porn

Now if you’re wondering why I felt the sudden need to dredge up this post from 2022, it’s because of a couple other posts I won’t go into now that reminded me of it.

This post is a prime example of how casually and insidiously we can re-write history. When the OP made this post so many people in the notes nodded along, acting as though it were an obvious, incontrovertible truth that Tumblr in the late aughts/early ‘10s was a wholesome safe space for children, and it was therefore normal and natural in the tumblr culture of that time to treat adults as unwelcome interlopers.

But that’s not an obvious, incontrovertible truth.

It’s a complete rewriting of history.

It’s a brazen, boldfaced lie.

Or it would be, if I thought OP were lying intentionally. But actually I don’t thing they were. I think this might actually be how OP (mis)remembers tumblr. OP painted a pastel colored soft focus filter over their childhood memories without even realizing that’s what they were doing. And it’s fine if the way you like to remember something is different from the way it actually happened. But it stops being fine when you start using your fabricated whitewashed sanitized memories as “evidence” when crafting an argument, thinking no one will bother to fact check you.

I’m bothering.

Tumblr was an adult space from its inception. Teens were never tumblr’s primary or target demographic at any point in its existence.

[lierdumoa]

[brazenautomaton]

@lierdumoa OP didn’t say it was wholesome and safe? OP said it was used primarily by teenagers and that teenagers acted the way they acted around substitute teachers. There was no implication of wholesomeness or family-friendly shit. And it’s true? Teens were Tumblr’s core demographic. They were cruel in exactly the way high schoolers were cruel. The Social Justice Movement is primarily concerned with the things cruel teenagers care about, like bullying the weak and screaming at each other about fandom, because its architects were all teenagers on tumblr in the early 2010s. Superwholock was all teenagers and Dashcon was attended by teenagers and yourfaveisproblematic was a teenager and Homestuck fans were teenagers. So many of Tumblr’s most famous shit that never happened stories were made up by teenagers who didn’t understand anything about the world to make their story plausible. Teenagers fell for infinite chocolate and teenagers fell for Gan’s Syndrome and teenagers fell for every other fucking thing you can think of. Maybe early 2010s Tumblr was the indie porn capital of the Internet, but it was also the capital of teenager cruelty, built on raging emotions and self-righteousness from people with no sense of scale or proportion or restraint. You’d frequently see teenagers getting self-righteous about the implication they shouldn’t be looking at or writing porn! Like all the time!

Tumblr’s primary audience was teenagers, who behaved like teenagers. That’s it. Anything else about this being sanitized is something you imagined. Tumblr was a high school cafeteria, and there is nothing pastel soft focus about that.

[deadgenerations]

tumblr in the john green age was mostly highschoolers, in fact it was so full of teenagers that it had a perennial problem with child porn in part because these very horny underage teens kept posting naked pictures of themselves on this website. I mean, basically every long time user on this website started their blog while they were minors! source: I was there as one of the horny underage teen bloggers.

And john green was clearly trying to connect with the teens here, because they were the intended audience of his fucking novels. he didn’t come here to hang out with adult sex workers

what a bizarre hill to be sanctimonious on.

[phaeton-flier]

So the point here is less about the exact fraction of teenagers to adults and more to point out that this wasn’t purely a kids playpen at the McDonalds and thus John Green being here wasn’t inherently questionable. John Green trying to have a blog for his target demographic didn’t mean he should “deserve to get the substitute teacher treatment”, if that means anything besides “I can say whatever I want about him and you can’t point out that’s cruel”

[evilsoup]

in the 2010s tumblr was spoken about in news articles in the same breath as twitter and facebook. mainstream political parties, documentary series, movies, etc, had official tumblr accounts. An author having an account here was equivalent to an author having a twitter account, i.e. completely normal.

[cathkaesque]

There was a while where all of the Labour Party’s press releases were hosted via Tumblr

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Also if you’re editing your substitute teacher’s statements to make it look like he’s telling the class how much he likes cock and doxxing him to the point where he stops working at your school because you’ve made him scared for the actual physical safety of his family, you should be expelled.

[panic-attack-imminent]

Yeah, this last point is really what is important. Regardless of whether Tumblr was mostly kids, mostly adults, or (more likely) a pretty equal mixture of the two, is absolutely immaterial. The point is that a man was harassed, doxxed, had incriminating false rumors spread about him, feared for his and his family’s safety, all because some people thought he was “cringe.”

The cock monologue was not giving him the “substitute teacher treatment” (whatever the fuck that means), nor was any of the other heinous shit.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#also the cock monologue was just blatantly homophobic too (“haha man who likes sucking dick is soooOOooOo funny!”)#like sorry to rain on y'alls parade but that shit was never funny and was always lame and loser behavior

[fractally]

Ok so on the Shane going to Ottawa thing. People will sometimes say that oh it's a trade off Shane is making for having Ilya and I do think there's a thing there, Shane is re-ordering his priorities so that being out and married to Ilya---and being respected at his workplace while those things are true---is at the top and playing on a single dynasty team his entire career is you know, below that.

(Notably literally playing with Ilya is not Shane's new top priority. Shane wants to go to Ottawa but he's open to other options. His requirement is just to be treated well at work while he's openly Ilya's husband.)

But my argument is that there's not only not a trade off, I think going to Ottawa is a legitimately correct and good career choice for Shane. Because by 2021 Montreal is a three cup team. Hockey teams that win more than three cups in their window essentially don't exist (in the modern era!).

Realistically if Shane wanted to win those 6 to 7 cups he was always going to need to hop from the aging Montreal to a fresh team emerging from a rebuild…which is exactly what Ottawa is in 2021. Shane's walking away from a tired team and a coach who's probably run his strategy as far out as it's likely to go, onto a (I assume) much younger team, with burgeoning talent and a fresh new coach. Having Ilya there as an extra franchise star is just the cherry on top.

H/t to @trippedlaces for suggesting that maybe Montreal leveraged their future to eke out that third cup in their window (a not uncommon strategy) and now is staring down a slow decline as their core ages out without any serious picks and straining at the cap.

Which is all to say I think eventually Shane jumps ship for Ottawa even without tripgate. Even without the outing. Maybe he spends a few more years in Montreal, takes a bridge contract or something. But really, tripgate gives Shane plausible deniability---nooo, he's not leaving because he's selfish and wants more cups and wants to play with his husband and his husband's stable of red hot rookies he's been training up just for Shane. He had to leave! He had no choice!

[larkandkatydid]

I think that I knew but hadn’t really grasped, like, spiritually, that West Virginia vs BPJ was targeting one specific little 12 year old girl. Like, the whole state created a law, upheld by the Supreme Court that one middle school child was not allowed to do extracurriculars. Cool. Cool. The Lottery is barely even fiction, people are just habitually fucking like that.

[clytemnestraaa]

anyways i think shane was an incredibly colicky baby and it stressed his parents to death because it didn’t even have a cause most of the time, and the more upset he got the more upset yuna would get, because he’s making her feel like a terrible mother, like she’s failing him in this really essential way, like she’s unable to do this thing that is supposed to be innate, and she knows she has trouble connecting emotionally but she always thought that it would be different with her own baby, and shane and her just work each other up more and more.

and she thinks maybe it’ll get better once shane gets older, once he learns to talk, but then he’s 2 and he’s still not talking, and he’s having tantrums that come out of nowhere and don’t have a common underlying trigger, and the ONLY thing shane likes is sprinting around the house at top speeds (he's in a toddler helmet for sure) or being swaddled and rocked, and he keeps hitting all the other toddlers at playgroup and yuna is LOSING IT and she KNOWS everybody is looking sideways at her and the pediatrician mentions getting him evaluated and she finds a new pediatrician because she isn’t a failure, she ISN’T.

and then when shane is 3 the lake by their cottage freezes over that winter and they put a pair of baby skates on him and then in about 30 seconds flat shane is halfway across the damn lake and yuna nearly gets a concussion trying to catch him. and then he comes inside and eats his carrot sticks without fussing and watches blues clues and takes a nap on her lap. and yuna is sitting there watching blues clues on silent and crying into her hand to stay quiet because holy shit. holy shit.

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

i don't think that dr. lisa lastname would take wyatt's last name lets give her a different last name

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

they both play more rigid roles when they are out with the team and so lisa gets added to the wag chat at lisa hayes and is like "perfect! this is my character that I'll play!" and it's not until like season 5 while they are drunk at monks that they let it slip that lisa didn't take wyatt's last name and it does trigger a wyatt hayes drunken history style gender studies lecture that culminates in "shes a fucking doctor why would she take my name? a doctor, man, she's saving lives and i stop pucks for a living. a fucking doctor! I should be taking hers!"