Fuck Your Hat

@rabbitinthesoundbooth

Every thing is chaos anyway.

235 posts

exhausted.

It feels unethical to try and be happy these days.

Like, "Have you SEEN the state of the world?!?"

Of course I have, and I've shown up to the polls, I vocalized my support for the non-fascist candidates. It is actually impossible to escape the news entirely without becoming some sort of luddite hiding deep in the swamps.

I'm a brown queer woman living in a red state.

I graduated Magna Cum Laude and I'm sure some fuckwit would assume if I am hired it would be DEI, but companies aren't really doing DEI anymore so that IF is doing a lot of heavy lifting.

I'm exhausted.

But sometimes I manage to find something to smile about. My kids crack a joke, I catch a beautiful sunrise, I haven't killed my mint plant yet.

Some small bit of joy that will see me dead before it is snuffed out... Like my mint plant... pretty sure it is surviving out of spite at This point, because I was pretty sure I killed it, twice.

What was I rambling about?

Its expensive to be poor - WTF Fun Fact

opaquestrategies

-Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

I do not think this fact is as fun as advertised.

Maybe all the twentysomethings are obsessed with cartoons because all the “adult” shows show the same traumas, frustrations, and anxieties we already have to deal with 24/7.

Sometimes you just wanna watch a princess of power or a magical alien child do fancy magic stuff in a lower-stakes world where you can be reasonably sure you won’t be subjected to depictions of extreme violence, gore, assault, and sex without warning, ya dig?

It’s true and you should say it

sith-shenanigans

so much adult media likes to pretend hopelessness and pessimism and cynicism are something profound instead of the same depressing nonsense that you can find self-righteous assholes spouting on any given corner of the internet

society acts like we’re supposed to outgrow hope somewhere between sixteen and twenty-two and it’s absolute bullshit

being an adult isn’t about giving up

hold on, let me repeat that

just in case y'all didn’t hear me in the back

being an adult isn’t about giving up

so1987-deactivated20230102

rabbitinthesoundbooth

This!

Coming soon: MyTransHealth, an app connecting trans people to knowledgeable, reliable and affordable healthcare providers.

19% of trans people have been refused healthcare because of their gender identity. 50% of trans people have had to teach their doctors about trans-related medical care. 28% of trans people have been harassed in medical settings. This app is desperately needed. Follow them at mytranshealth.

45caliberaspirin-deactivated201

I AM CRYING HOLY SHIT. This is so important. You know I’m serious because I am actually using these things called capitalization and punctuation. You guys. Please. Please boost the hell out of this. It means so much.

*SLAMS THE SHIT OUT OF THE REBLOG BUTTON*

omg pls make this international / not just US-centric!

We won’t rest until every trans person on the planet has access to safe, affordable, and reliable health care.

SHARE THIS EVERYWHERE

thedeafroleplayer

To my trans followers, there’s something for you!

I.. I’m so keeping my eye on this

This looks amazing.

@thistranslovesheadcanons

piperderg-deactivated20221106

This is amazing!

Villains turned heroes/antiheroes like Deathstroke and Harley Quinn are WEAK. From now on, I only care about Starro the Conqueror and their transition from the best Justice League villain

to Jarro, the tiny starfish who lives in a jar and calls Batman ‘Dad’

I was gone from reading Justice League comics for a couple of weeks and none of you fake friends told me that Jarro became Robin? what the absolute FUCK

JDKDKDKDK

rootbeergoddess

This is why I love comic books. They’re so batshit sometimes

… there’s a babby Starro named Jarro?

this is the best news ever

rabbitinthesoundbooth

Sharing this because it makes me think of one of my favorite people in the world, and she loves Robin as well as nonsense.

The fact that Julius Caesar burst into tears after reading about Alexander the Great because they were the same age but he could never live up to Alexander is one of the greatest things I’ve learnt as a classics student

and Alexander himself got upset over the fact that he would never live up to Achilles- he paid his respects at Achilles and Patroclus’ tomb, and kept a copy of the Iliad under his pillow. History is nothing but a long, long list of maudlin queers fearing that they’ll fail to live up to the maudlin queers who came before them.

manhattan-gamestop

Lesson of the post: become your own maudlin queer and wreck as much shit as possible

thisiseverydayracism

https://www.thedailybeast.com/state-department-to-lgbt-married-couples-your-out-of-wedlock-kids-arent-citizens

thenerdyanthrohistorian

Watch the white gays start to give a fuck now.

First it was the Mexicans, legal citizens born here from immigrant parents, that were claimed as non citizens. Now it’s the children of gay parents. Don’t you see what’s happening? Disenfranchisement. Classic fascism. We’re heading towards a totalitarian regime folks. Trump is a white supremacist and him and his administration won’t stop until they’ve recreated Hitler’s Nazi Germany.

injuries-in-dust

Hitler didn’t start as histories greatest monster, or he wouldn’t have gained the power he got. It was only after he became too powerful to be removed that he revealed his true nature. You have to look for the warning signs and there are a lot of them with the Trump administration. Like, big red flags with glowing flares.

misterdoctorironstrange

The worst thing is that Hitler had to put some effort into gaining his power, while Trump has been waving his red flags as high as possible since the start and no one seems to care…

immortalcheesewedge

What. The. Fuck.

SPREAD. THIS. SHIT. NOW. DO. NOT. SCROLL. PAST. DO. NOT. SCROLL. PAST. DO. NOT. SCROLL. PAST. DO. NOT. SCROLL. PAST. LOOK. AT. THIS. SPREAD. IT.

idk-my-aesthetic

Y’all are idiots if you think hitler had to put effort into getting elected. He did the exact same fucking thing as trump. Blame a venerable minority for the country’s problems, then weponize the people’s hatred and bigotry. They’re the same. So far the only difference is their main target, and the fact that hitler was planning to kill every single Jew or Roma. And we don’t have proof trump wants that, but the human rights violations should be enough to convince you

Hitler was an incompetent buffoon too. He was a complete and utter joke in his day. He didn’t gain power by working hard and being clever.

He came to power because people didn’t take him or his followers seriously and weren’t all that scared.

Trump is Hitler 2.0. This isn’t a silly internet comparison. It’s the testimony of multiple Holocaust survivors and dozens of historians. Fear him enough to fight back before he gets to his final solution.

As a LGBTQ+ Jew with ancestors that not only fled the pogroms but the Holocaust, this is incredibly important.

Why I'm Not Trying for a Daughter.

Now that I'm on the later end of my mid-30's, my mother and aunts have begun to really apply the pressure on me to have more kids. Sure there is the usual bullshit Catholics spew, "Be fruitful and multiply," "Children are a blessing!" "Contraception is a sin!!!"

But as a non-believer, they have quickly realized that I just shrug those off.

But they found a button to push, because when I was pregnant with my second kid, I had mentioned that it would be nice to have another girl around.

So they target that. My mom is disgustingly unsubtle about it, even once going so far to say, "another vagina in the house."

Like what? I'm supposed to have a whole other person exist for a spare vajay? Is that all women are?

But honestly, as far as society at large is concerned, yes. We are nothing more than paradoxical soft holes, from which we must fuck and never fuck at the same time, lest we be considered an inferior hole...

I wanted a daughter because I am a furious person. I want to fight all the damn time these days because people still expect to be allowed to dictate how I use my own body. It's gross, and I thought for a while it would be great to raise a daughter with that fire.

But that's so fucked up! Making more people in the hopes that you can turn one with a certain set of genitals into a radical is just as fucked up as having a girl so you can be certain her kids are actually your grandkids (another nugget from my mother).

But what would I really be hoping for? Another person who has to go through what I have? The fear, the panic, the shame if someone hurts you? Moms who deliberately raise their kids to be "tough" are hurting them. Because every time someone hurts them, it registers as a personal failing. I know it has for me.

I don't want more children. The ones I have are the people I have made, and it's my job to make sure they grow up well. Their gender is whatever the hell they ultimately make of it, if they decide to make anything of it at all.

It's not a matter of "boys will be boys," or "girls will be girls," but "children will be adults one day", and the love I have for my little goblins has nothing to do with what I've had to wipe down in diaper changes.

I hope they realize this, and trust me to love them no matter who they are.

The problem with forcibly seizing the assets of, say, Jeff Bezos is that his net worth of $161 billion does not mean he has that in cash. That’s the worth of everything he owns, including stock in his own company.

And the problem with seizing THAT is that it isn’t real. It’s based on confidence and what people might conceivably pay for it. And if you just seize it, that confidence tanks. And then that wealth evaporates.

The problem with capitalism isn’t that there’s a bunch of old dudes sitting on hoards of cash. It’s that they’ve collectively created a system by which they have ludicrous social and economic power based on the PROMISE of hoards of cash. That don’t exist. They have created a social stratum in which debt is money.

That’s why the exhortation is to SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION, not GO GRAB ALL THE MONEY. Because the money isn’t real, and the need to go out and get it is blinding people to the fact that it doesn’t need to exist.

terrypratchettappreciation

Me, who has read Good Omens countless times, knows the scenes inside out, etc.: Nothing surprises me now

Me, seeing a "sneak peak" for the show: ... S-SPOILERS!

rabbitinthesoundbooth

Saaaaaame!

jumpingjacktrash

what if wizarding america isn’t silly

when i heard there’s only one wizarding school in america, i laughed incredulously, and i know i’m not the only one. one school for the whole huge country? obviously brits don’t have any idea how big america is! cue derisive anecdotes about visitors who thought they could visit hollywood as a day trip from new york.

but recently something’s occurred to me: what if ilvermorny IS the only ‘wizarding school’ in america, with ‘wizarding school’ being defined as a wizard-only establishment where they teach nothing but magic?

aside from how unprepared that leaves kids for the rest of life, there just isn’t the population density to support wizard-exclusive pocket-universe enclaves anywhere but the east coast and possibly los angeles. even chicago is more spread out than that, and when it comes to mid-size cities like minneapolis and st. louis, forgeddaboudit. not even wizards would choose to live crammed cheek by jowl on quaintly crooked pedestrian-only streets when they could have a three-bedroom prairie-style on a wooded half-acre in edina.

so i’m thinking, yeah, ok, most american magicals don’t send their kids to wizard school. kids go to regular school and have wizarding clubs and retreats and summer camps instead. gives new meaning to “one time at band camp.”

the pureblood prejudice never developed in america? well, of course not, no one but the hamptons set goes even a single day without interacting with muggles. most of your friends are going to be muggles. there aren’t enough magical jobs for everyone, so most people’s coworkers will be muggles. except we wouldn’t call them muggles, of course, and certainly not ‘no-maj’ – that sounds like something that was said for a while by one particular new york jet set clique in the 1920′s and got written down in an english etiquette book as ‘what americans say’. we’d probably call them ‘mundanes’ or ‘normals’ if we called them anything at all.

the stuff about wand permits and other odd regulations makes sense for a small bureaucracy that doesn’t really understand why it can’t control things the way european magical governments do. it’s kind of a cargo cult legislation. probably most americans don’t even use a wand most of the time. european wand-focused magic might be the Done Thing among the WASP contingent, but everyone else undoubtedly knows at least something about navajo healing ritual, haitian voodoo, lakota dance magic, chinese feng-shui warding techniques, etcetera. taking away a person’s wand doesn’t take away their magic. you can’t say ‘corn pollen permit’ with a straight face and they sell chalk at the corner store.

i expect american wizards look at the hogwarts set as kind of a weird sect with weird restrictions and weird costumes. like the amish, but instead of furniture and quilts, they export clueless young men.

nerdyzebradog-deactivated202311

if I lick your brain will I gain your creativity?

jumpingjacktrash

i don’t know but it’s worth a try

also no one else will be able to eat it because it’s got your germs on it, which will be handy if zombies

this has always pretty much been my whole exact understanding of the hp universe i also figured a lot of american magic is in english instead of the pseudo greek/latin British spells since, unlike British schools, most Americans never study those, so our spells are like ‘Fire’, ‘Unlock", “Magic Missile’ also american wands have gun grips or are baseball bats

jumpingjacktrash

when i was a kid i made a wand out of a piece of copper pipe with brass end caps, and carried it around with me for most of a year; i know a lot of kids who had walking sticks from summer camp or hiking, and pretended they were magic. hell, i bet a lot of wizard kids learn to cast with a #2 pencil, just from idly messing around.

also, spells based on superhero powers: definitely a thing.

imagine some baddie trying to AK someone and getting hit by SHAZAM in return.

american wizards learn how to do spider-man webbing out of wands the way kids learn to do that one S symbol source: remember those dumb/racist comics ron had in his room? that’s all they got. britwizards don’t know a single spider-man

jumpingjacktrash

spells based on d&d too, i bet. and not nearly as much distinction between ‘dark arts’ and the rest, largely because a lot of the nonwhite arts got classified as Ebil Scary Bad by anglos, and the rest of america wasn’t having it. in louisiana, knowing the voodoo lady can raise the dead just speaks to the high quality of her marching powder.

florida wizards can use pool noodles as wands not a single british wizard has ever returned from florida

jumpingjacktrash

dude florida is just one big messy cryptid zone, the ‘florida man’ phenomenon is real and ‘hold my beer’ is a very powerful spell

edit: ok, wizarding america IS silly, just not the way rowling thought

deadcatwithaflamethrower

THIS ENTIRE THREAD IS GOLD

In Chicago you must be careful not to diss deep dish pizza aloud as the entire city is imbued with enough inherent magical pride that you may incur a hex if you say “deep dish sucks” while walking too close to the lake. Lots of pizza-fond kappa dwell in there, and they can get nasty. The Chicago Cubs curse was very, very real and it took a united ward circle featuring two thousand souls holding hands, the length of the entire magic mile, and a fuckton of celery salt to finally rid our poor baseball team of its 108 year curse. As such Chicago magic-users are extremely wary of the power of Goat Magic© to this day.

It’s a city named “onion” in the vernacular of the Miami and Illini, built on a swamp: you know it is steeped in some serious ancient native magic. And no ordinary cow started a fire bringing the whole town down in one fell swoop, come on now.

Whereas, let’s be real, the majority of magic used in Los Angeles is either a) used to alter/improve appearance as it is the city of undying vanity or b) used to bypass traffic while invisible because screw taking the 101 and the 405, honestly.

Minnesota wizarding families use old Norse pagan and church sigils, as well as some Proto Norse runic magic (the uses and varieties of which they do not share with scholars who would really like to know how to use the runes properly thank you). Hot Dish is a traditional meal at magic conclaves. Last year a nineteen year old wizard claimed he cast a spell using a cheesy breadstick from Toppers, but the claim has yet to be substantiated.

In the early 2000s every young witch chose to practice her magic by using a feather gel pen as a wand. Summer magic camps devoted entire charms classes to making your tech deck levitate and do flips. Wizarding Pokémon cards feature Pokémon that jump off the card and perform tiny battles when played.

jumpingjacktrash

as a minnesota bear i can inform you that our magic is equal parts scandinavian and ojibwe. our weather magic is unsurpassed. oh, we don’t use it to control the weather – that would fuck everything up so bad you don’t even know. we just know things like when to plug in the engine heater overnight, and when the tornado sirens are for realsies.

snow golems: totally a thing. plow truck patronuses are not unheard-of.

whatever lives in lake superior, you do not mess with it. it’s nothing so friendly as homicidal merfolk. the lake itself is alive, and she has weird moods. all the other 9999 lakes, we can calm with the swirl of a canoe paddle, but gitchigumi you leave the hell alone. when she kicks up you apologize and gtfo. all magic can do is give you fair warning.

the edmund fitzgerald didn’t have a water witch on board. bad idea, guys.

And then there’s everything within the DC Beltway. The Metro system doubles as an underground market for both spell traders and peace brokers. Metro Center is one of the major hubs; so is L’Enfant Plaza. If you walk around the Mall in the right pattern you can run into the National Wizarding Museum which has a room for artifacts from every state. Muggles too but then they get confused why they can’t find that Museum again it had the coolest gift shop. Yes, the Washington Monument is a magical artifact. The fish market sells more than just fish if you know what to ask for. There’s a Thestral on patrol at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. There are a bajillion types of charms all over the embassies, government buildings, international organizations. There’s a huge confundus charm over Fort Meade, too, that’s why everyone keeps getting lost there.

In Colorado, the 100 year flood of 2013 (or 1,000 year flood depending on who you talk to) came about from the collective magic of enough Colorado witches and wizards saying “we could use the moisture” with accidental intent, building enough to bring on the rains that caused the state-wide flooding.

rabbitinthesoundbooth

In Texas, wizards think they are keeping a low profile, but as soon as you see a giant man snuggling a giant horned beast's calf and guiding a swarm of them into a gated pen, the gig is up.

The seasons have stalled in half of the state because elders here don't like the cold, so with the wave of a temporary wand made of mesquite or hackberry, they keep the cold weather away save for the occasional backlash of cold fronts.

"Pit Masters" have tamed smoke itself, and use it to make difficult cuts of meat both tender and delicious, but failure to appease the smoke during these hours long rituals results in something tough and inedible.

whitepeopletwitter

36,000 for a tweet

rabbitinthesoundbooth

Ted Cruz can eat a bag of dicks.

whitepeopletwitter

Titanic

whitepeopletwitter

She has a point

thelightofthingshopedfor

There are two situations in which I make extremely sure I’m going precisely at or below the speed limit:

I see a cop

Some asshole is tailgating me

firebirdeternal

This is both spiteful AND practical, because you can’t control whether or not they give you a safe following distance for the speed you’re travelling, but you CAN reduce the speed you both have to travel, having the triple benefit of A) increasing the likelihood that they’ll have enough time to stop without rear-ending you. B) lowering the speed of any possible collision and thus the severity and C) Pissing the fucker the fuck off.

I feel so valid now

rabbitinthesoundbooth

If you're hugging my bumper, you're in for a bad time.

downwithneocolonialism

downwithneocolonialism

abolishtocreate

The USA are a hellscape

this whole fucking post reads like satire but its not

big yikes

rabbitinthesoundbooth

This is America...

obstinatecondolement

I wonder when exactly it was that Star Trek stopped being perceived as light, fluffy, not-really-legitimate sci fi that ~housewives~ liked and started being seen as serious nerd business that girls had to keep their gross cooties off.

keeveet-talks-deactivated201612

Also when did the Beatles start to be remembered as rock legends rather than a silly boy band teenaged girls liked?

When men decided they liked them.

startrektrashface

this is seriously exactly how it happened. Women were actually the first rock and roll ‘critics’ because they would write in to women’s papers and magazines to share and discuss what their kids were listening to when men still thought it was trashy teeny bopper music. once it became a lucrative, mainstream genre men shoved women out of the space. Men also tend to be gatekeepers once they move into formerly female spaces - early trek fandom was incredibly open and inclusive; women would set up fan get togethers in their own houses to discuss the show or invite the actors to visit before conventions became a thing, and then were huge in organizing the first conventions - but now the stereotype of a trekkie is a nerdy white dude who scoffs derisively at casual fans and newbies with his encyclopedic and pedantic knowledge of trek

I propose we call this “mentrification”

YES

MENTRIFICATION that’s genius

chrisprattawesomesource

Chaotic angel

thebreakfastgenie

Andy Dwyer is gifted ADHD fight me

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