[insert cool reference here]

Ives / 24 Did tumblr make the description font smaller girl send help

[fidelcostco]

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

[fidelcostco]

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

[fidelcostco]

oh this is my post

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[mothermara]

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

[nextlevelsmp3]

been thinking about this tweet for a month straight

[theonion]

After running a thousand errands, working hours of overtime, and being stuck in seemingly endless gridlock traffic commuting to and from their jobs, millions of Americans were disheartened to learn that it was, in fact, only Tuesday.

“Tuesday?” San Diego resident Doris Wagner said. “How in the hell is it still Tuesday?”

Tuesday’s arrival stunned a nation still recovering from the nightmarish slog that was Monday, leaving some to wonder if the week was ever going to end, and others to ask what was taking Saturday so goddamn long.

Full Story

[werewolf-transgenderism]

🤨🤨🤨

[dykegerard]

[theunsubtleknife]

[antihumanism]

all hr departments should be destroyed, i am trying to fill out this work reference form for someone and one of the questions is "does this individual value excellence and integrity?" what the hell does that question even mean? me personally, i value sucking shit and telling lies, i value incompetence and perfidy, someone spills a liter of saline on the floor and then says "the floor has always been wet, i didn't do that" and i say "thanks, man, i value that"

[catmask]

usually i can understand the fear factor of horror movie monsters but a mummy is one that has never landed with me. its slow as fuck and location specific. thats like one zombie. zombies are only scary because theres a lot and there can always be more. and they could be anywhere. but a mummy. thats at the pyramid. i wouldnt go to a pyramid. this isnt a problem i have to worry about. why would. a mummy come here

[adamsmasher]

WE WERE ON JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!

[rouge-the-bat]

thank you for coming to my this #mythis

[omtai]

Nothing makes you think My One Precious Life. My One Precious Life Is Slipping Away And There’s Nothing I Can Do About It. quite like working a job does

[blackpyrefly]

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

[pingo1387]

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

[cryptotheism]

Poppers? Like jalapeño poppers??

Yeah sure

[crabussy]

you are alive on a planet with insects and whales and diatoms and mycelium networks and puppies and your human friends. literally so awesome to be a living thing

[draizetrain]

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

[yellow-cat]

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

[radiqueer]

Human relationships are not transactional but they are reciprocal, which I think many of you with your ‘i don’t owe anyone anything’ shtick are too happy to forget

[aromanticduck]

Transactional: everything has to be exactly 50/50 all the time, pay me back for the £5 sandwich or buy me something worth exactly £5, I refuse to make an effort for you if there’s nothing in it for me

Reciprocal: you were there for me when I needed help, and I’m going to do the same for you, it doesn’t matter if one of us needs more or is capable of less, because the point is not equivalent exchange but mutual care