Radiaton Rater

#decisions from the council #wild reactor core #radiation #radioactivity #radioactive #Bob #crab

Hello Bob!

The council says that you are 1.2/15 radioactive! Have a very wonderful day :)

The new UI changes are 15/15 on the radioactivity scale and a 0/10 on the likeability scale

#radiation #radioactive #radioactivity #decisions from the council #these UI changes are disgusting…#too big #too round #just overall bad

hileynoteson

i summon thee, gimmick blogs, to bring me the fruits of your gimmick. failure to do so will result in death.

adam--official

fruit.. i ate a fruit once......

lucifer-official

You're not still mad about that, are you?

devils-oath

ADAM EATS GAY PEOPLE PASS IT ON

lucifer-official

That's why he tried to bite me in the Garden?!?!

devils-oath

Luci you’re gay?! I’m so proud of you for coming out

girls pretty

Mayo behavior

Woah mama I'm elvis

This isn’t too radioactive, the council said 3.2/15

Also congrats on coming out Luci

#wild reactor core #decisions from the council #gimmick blog #radiation #radioactive #radioactivity

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

i know what i’m doing dw

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

pluto-officially

You're failing.

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

communist-mannyfesto

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

?????

enigma-system03

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

legionoftuna

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

wrong.

pointless-achievements

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

taco-bee

I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz

For science

OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND

HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE

ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)

POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE

HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE

APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE

KRATOS: GOD OF WAR

HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE

APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE

boxxed-juice

ares is the god of war, not kratos

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

ironwoman359

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

#decisions from the council #wild reactor core #radiation #radioactive #radioactivity #greek tumblr #greek mythology #this is a gorgeous post!#10/10 never change tumblr

This is beautifu- uh! Highly radioactive!

Council told me 11.7/15, and it’s probably due to the Greek pantheon cursing you, stay safe and away from the sky

insomniac-arrest

You can survive almost anything through the right combination of:

Bitching and moaning

Hater-ology

Doing a goofy little bit about it

Having a buddy say "that's so fucked up" at intermittent points (you can also be your own buddy)

Destroying the cursed amulet you carry everywhere, why do you even have that thing

wizard-council-bureaucrat

This is all true except that last one, don’t worry about the last one

#wild reactor core #decisions from the council #radiation #radioactive #radioactivity #cursed amulet #I think that the curse is ‘radiation sickness’ and it’s uh. it’s a not good one

Council says uh.. yeah you might actually wanna get rid of that cursed amulet they said 12/15

viralfrog

notsafeforbinary

lillylikescats

I'm an electrical engineer and for the longest time I was saying that electricity and electronics isn't magic, but think about it.

You literally have to collect rare stones from remote locations, put them into specific formations to work. All of this gets written down in symbols which don't make sense to the uninformed. It gets powered by energy which can not be seen in most cases.

Like what else do you want. What's your standard for calling something magic.

transcribepaige

"It doesn't stop being magic just because you know how it works."

Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men (Discworld #30)

#wild reactor core #decisions from the council #radioactivity #radiation #radioactive #magic #science #so many radioactive things!#first we got the general term of radioactive isotopes. and then we’ve got plutonium!#plutonium actually shows up twice lol! demon core and the little comic in the reblog #demon core

The council says that this post is 14/15

And they also agree that just because we understand the logic behind something, it doesn’t change how magical it is!

Cooking With Tumblr: "Why Are We Here? Just to Suffer?" Edition

Tumblr, I come to you as a woman on the verge of fulfilling her destiny. Thanks to a viral poll by @relientk, the newest meme on Tumblr is vanilla extract, specifically the act of using too much of it. Pure vanilla extract is, of course, expensive and also strong in small amounts. Who among us has that much vanilla extract on hand and is foolish enough to attempt this?

Me.

For personal reasons, I have a lot of vanilla extract in my apartment. It was here before the meme, and it will be here after. I had all the ingredients for the horrible poll cake except for milk, so I went out and bought some milk. It is three in the morning and very cold outside. Why am I doing this now instead of waiting for the poll to finish? Two reasons: the first being how fickle the internet in burning through memes, and the second being that five days gives my better judgement enough time to convince me not to do this.

Will God stop my sinful hands before the cake makes it into the oven? Let's find out!

Mise en Place

Here are all the ingredients in their Tumblr-approved quantities. No, your eyes are not deceiving you! That is indeed a teacup of vanilla extract. I laid everything out in twee little teacups to try and lessen the blow of this culinary affront to man about to occur in my kitchen. The baking powder is in a souvenir shot glass because I ran out of twee little teacups.

The exact measurements come courtesy of @princessmuk, who carefully adjusted a white cake recipe (LINKED HERE!) to the proportions of the poll. The percentages at the time she wrote her addition (left) are only negligibly different from the percentages now (right), so there's no need to adjust.

I've cut the her quantities in half because even I have limits, but the cooking time, temperature and everything else will match the recipe she based her post on.

Okay.

Tumblr, I'll be frank with you. This does not look, feel or smell like cake batter. For those who didn't read princessmuk's post, I'd like to inform you that the source recipe is called "Simple White Cake". This is not white, and nothing about this can be called "simple".

That said, I've put it in a buttered and floured cake pan and am baking it for at least 40 minutes in a 350 degree oven. I don't know off the top of my head how the poll will affect the cook time because I'm very tired, but I will be checking the internal temperature just in case. Now, all there is to do is wait!

The Moment of Truth

My entire apartment smells like vanilla. It's not unpleasant, but it is definitely apparent. After fifty minutes, I opened the oven and found what appeared to be a firm enough cake. After cooling it in the refrigerator, I removed it from the pan and laid it on a plate.

Physically? It doesn't seem that bad. There's a distinctly crispy-looking crust around the rim. While it's certainly denser than most cakes, it springs back when pressed and feels fully cooked. My kitchen thermometer read an internal temperature of just over 200 degrees Fahrenheit or 93 degrees Celsius. Many had predicted it would become an amorphous, soupy sludge due to having nearly twice as much liquid as necessary, but the batter was still thick enough to form a cohesive solid mass.

But how does it taste? Without further ado:

Find, rate and share the best memes and images. Discover the magic of the Internet at Imgur.

Tumblr won't let me insert the video directly, because of course it won't. I should also preface this by saying that this is the first and only instance of my face and voice on the internet, so if you misgender me I will force-feed you the rest of the cake.

With that out of the way: it's honestly not that bad??? Is it good? No. Of course it isn't. It's a cake with several dozen times' more vanilla extract than required. But is it inedible? I honestly can't say that it is. I should point out for those uninformed that vanilla extract is a tincture, meaning that the active ingredient is dissolved into alcohol. In this case, 35% alcohol, the low average alcohol content of gin and dark rum. Minors have actually gotten drunk by drinking vanilla extract. That overwhelming bitterness you associate with the ingredient? Part of that is the vanilla itself, but most of it is the alcohol that typically evaporates away in the oven. Because of that, the cake is bitter but not overpowering.

The texture alone is actually quite pleasant. Its texture is best compared to that of banana bread, with a rich, heavy moistness and a slight chew along the rim. Its thin shape and density makes it ideal to be eaten by hand. I personally enjoy bitterness to the point where I'd seriously consider this palatable if the sugar content was at least doubled. It wouldn't be better than a regular piece of cake, but it would be good.

To those that feel disappointed, I express my sincerest apologies. Even I was legitimately hoping for some sort of Cake From the Black Lagoon that would explode in the oven and taste like paint thinner. To remedy any disillusionment, I will end this culinary journey in hubris with a poll. Thank you.

Do you believe me?

Yes. You are God's bravest little soldier.

No. Your taste buds should be repossessed.

Vanilla extract

Voting ended onFeb 12, 2023