Just a disaster writer @rainbowwritesthings - Tumblr Blog

Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.

faeblesmith

important context this person looks and sounds like they’re gonna cry

lastoneout

Also important to note that the rooster appears to be roughly the size of a large pigeon.

lastoneout

The pigeon people have informed me he is the size of a normal pigeon, or perhaps even a small pigeon. Fucking rip.

pandabomb

huh? pompeii? nah dude that song’s so old and overplayed, if the radio station puts that song on one more fucking time I’m gonna—-EH EH OH EH OH EH EH OH EH OH

caramiaaddio

oh hey this feels like a good time to mention that bastille did a remix of pompeii. with goddamn hans zimmer. listen to this to blow your tits clean off

otherwindow

why is it always a male character going mad avenging his dead wife and never a female character cradling her dying pure of heart husband in her arms then dragging the whole world down with her

swan2swan

charlesoberonn

First of all, this is a very clever use of this gif. Secondly, fuck you.

injuries-in-dust

lakemojave

@inneskeeper

flagellant

...I want to refute this but no, I....yeah

tundrakatiebean

[captions]

Person on screen: needs a couple pats of butter, a splash of olive oil, simmered on low with a bay leaf and a cinnamon stick. What?! You never seen a boy who knows his way around the kitchen?

Yeah my mom always wanted a little girl but she got stuck with me instead. That wasn’t gonna stop her though so all my friends were opening up nerf guns and bmx bikes on their birthday, I was getting crockpots.

(scene changes to the person dressed in a nice black suit jacket, bright pink dress shirt, and black tie) Yeah laugh it up! Take a picture while you’re at it 'cause this is the last time you’ll ever see me in a suit! How do boys wear these things??

(scene changes to the person dressed in the same shirt and tie with no jacket and the shirt cuffs unbuttoned and rolled up, with purple nail polish on their nails) No, I don’t know how to fight. I was only ever taught how to deescalate situations with healthy communication and emotional validation.

coldwateriztasty

identitty-dickruption

nobody ever believes me when I list off all of the ways that humans are significantly less sexually dimorphic than people seem to believe and it drives me batshit insane. “you’re denying the biological reality of sex” well you’re sticking your fingers in your ears and saying lalalala every time anyone presents you with data that confirms that women and men aren’t really that different. and refusing to come to terms with the two-way relationship between the “biological” and “social” worlds. I think one of us is ignoring the biological sciences here and it isn’t me

shofarsogood

Someone once told me my biology degree was fake because I said humans weren't sexual dimorphic.

A male human and a female human are roughly the same size and same coloration.

Meanwhile, male black widow spiders are brown and a tenth the size of females. Anglerfish females are a full foot long and have a bioluminescent protrusion on their heads; males are barely half an inch long with no bioluminescence or protrusions. Male elephant seals are ten times bigger than females and have massive snouts. Male orangutans have big jowls and neck sacs that look like goiters, while females look more like other apes. Peacocks have flashy coloration and a long tail that they can display. The females are brown and simple.

Humans aren't sexually dimorphic! You only know someone's gender because of cultural identifiers, like clothing or hair.

zaprowsdower27

The big things for primate sexual dimorphism tend to be canine size and body size. Male primates in sexually dimorphic species tend to have HUGE canine teeth for better threat displays, and are bigger for similar reasons.

Lowland Gorilla males tend to be 2.38x on average the mass of Lowland Gorilla females. Humans? That ratio is something line 1.15.

Male gorilla canines tend to be about 2 inches long, easily twice the length of some of their other teeth. Male humans have canines the exact same length as human female canines and the exact same length as the rest of our teeth.

We are not particularly sexually dimorphic.

motherfucker-unlimited

Bro why do you keep insisting we try to disarm this genderbending trap? We literally mapped out this whole dungeon floor we can just walk around it...

motherfucker-unlimited

Whoa watch it bud! If I hadn't caught you you would have fallen straight into that pit of tentacles! Good thing I stopped you when I did, huh?

motherfucker-unlimited

Oh man if I was just a few minutes late that vampire baroness would have hypnotized you and made you her thrall, good thing you can always count on me, ey? Cmon let's get going, the next round's on you

fleshadept

valtsv

can't stop thinking about how hysterical project hail mary would be from rocky's pov when you consider that, by eridian standards, basic human functioning is simultaneously an incredibly hostile and violently perverted body horror fetish nightmare. imagine you make first contact with an alien and it's an apex predator with an obscene number of orifices, made up mostly of toxic substances that it oozes constantly from said orifices, thrives in an unforgivingly cold and suffocating atmosphere, is highly motivated by searching for its next meal + consumes its food publicly in violation of your society's main taboo, and is capable of rapidly transitioning from vulnerable in sleep to alert and in full possession of its faculties at the slightest change in stimuli. grace is in a heartwarming scifi buddy comedy and meanwhile rocky is bonded with and planning on bringing home his species' equivalent of the xenomorph.

valtsv

POV you're welcoming home your planet's heroic saviours

sometiktoksarevalid

dude-the-best-names-are-taken

Translation for the Punjabi bits.

"Mind your business, excuse me...Mind your business! I don't want weird (or senseless) animals talking to me. Do you understand me? Ill-mannered person, he has no manners. He doesn't know how to talk to a woman! We're both talking it out, who are you to speak in between? WHAT IS IT? WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? WHO ARE YOU? EXCUSE ME!" :)

ratantics

Holy shit he's perfect.

picunha

the transition im crying

vanity-complex

I am walking onto the field. Haters are forcefully removing me from the premise

infectiouspiss

somnophillia is super funny like im honk shoo honk shoo having a good nights sleep and now you must pass the ultimate test of fucking me without waking me by knocking something over or stepping on a crisp packet i've left on my floor. can you finish your mission while my pet geckos judge you from their tanks? because they're not leaving the room okay the geckos stay in here. also the markiplier fnaf playlist stays on. i sleep better when he's screaming.

infectiouspiss

all kink stuff is playing pretend but with somno you're not playing pretend you're locked in you're comfy cozy you're snug as a bug in a rug and your partner is playing pretend instead

infectiouspiss

and like. if you're the one awake you're playing pretend so hard right now like ouuuuhhh look at me i'm a scary evil intruder or a demon or vampire or whatever we're doing tonight and now i just have to uhhhh okay shimmy the duvet off and shhh dontfucking breathe so loud and okayyyyy alright now. ah shit they're sleeping in the family guy death pose how the fuck do i get in there how. how do i. help. why are these geckos looking at me.

infectiouspiss

plus you have to not get too scared when freddy fazbear jumpscares you or else you're waking them up with your screams

lourainwoods-in-the-woods

infectiouspiss

oh great and this guy's here in the cuck box wondering if the screaming is me waking up or markiplier dying or toy bonnie throwing a tantrum

kaoinim-deactivated20220927

wolfwoodbignaturals

ps5 brain monday

what-even-is-thiss

Oh so THIS is the ps5 post. I can see why you all imprinted on it now that’s hilarious

partyybeetle

happy 1 year ps5 brain monday

dragongirltongue

happy 2 year ps5 brain monday

whatthe4355

happy 3 year ps5 brain monday

charlataninred

Happy 4 year ps5 brain monday

fuckyeahchinesefashion

cr: 百变花央

derinthescarletpescatarian

I’m out here buying tshirts and pants like a chump while some people are just wearing the world’s best rectangles

mysticorset

Pre-manufacturing cultures will really be like, here is the most elegant and gorgeous outfit you can imagine, and it’s achieved entirely with rectangles, ropes, and pins.

Over and over again, across the world, in cultures that never even knew of each others’ existences. Just, rectangles, knots, and pins. And I love that for them.

sokodraws

fine, you want the butcher? come on

sometiktoksarevalid

mayra-quijotescx

[Video description: A classical musician in hanfu absolutely shredding while on a small boat floating down a river. End description.]

#craving a wuxia type story of a travelling bard that has a reputation of being cursed or working with demons#but shes just nosy and pisses people off on purpose to make them drop their guards so she can upend their whole world n find rot underneath#and she does this while being sloppy and poorly mannered on purpose#but also extremely badass and elegant when she needs to get shit done#and she ALWAYS makes a fucking Entrance wherever she goes#shes the bad guy#most people know if you let her into your village she'll bring destruction in her wake#but the people who REALLY know know that the change she brings is usually for the better#like the death tarot card#.........HEY SOMEBODY WITH MORE TALENT THAN ME- (via @spookymodernjazz)

HELP I NEED THIS TOO