not sure what to do next tbh

/ she/her - 23 / just need to vent about my problems and dump my thoughts somewhere (while trying to be aesthetic)

[rainyth]

[rainyth]

it crosses my mind every day, but i'd never do

[sugarwarachan]

big men who blush when you compliment them. big men who fumble their words, who get all fidgety when you're sitting next to them because they can't focus. big men who do that little aw shucks rub on the back of their neck when you kiss them on the cheek. big men who love cuddling you. big men who pick you up like you're light as air and tuck you into their side so you can't see how big they're smiling

[rainyth]

depression ruined so many aspects in my life </3

[rainyth]

i'm tweaking so hard rn I didn't know there was a ticket sale for Deftones :') wish me luck that I can get some in the resale

[rainyth]

[silentheels]

[rainyth]

I get so ridiculously mean when I'm unhappy (I'm sorry I can't stop)

[rainyth]

why am I only good enough when I keep my thoughts and needs aside for everyone?? just say you're selfish and use me like always

[rainyth]

I push everyone away before they can hurt or leave me. And i sit here and still wonder why they didn't stop me

[rainyth]

idk what my problem is. one day I'm completely fine, crave experiences, want to travel, change everything.

And suddenly I want to disappear, nothing feels real, I remember everything I repressed. What's wrong with me?

[rainyth]

so embarrassed of being myself. I hate how i look. I hate when people perceive me. I hate everything i do. I hate every word that comes out of my mouth. I hate my existence.

[rainyth]

[2014nbhd]

porcelainmagg0tss

[daddystinygirll]

[rainyth]

atp it's pathetic how desperately I'm trying to distract myself

[rainyth]

Do i feel depressed 'cause I laid in bed all day or did I lay in bed all day because I'm depressed?