- Nice to meet you.. I guess…
todays bird
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
will byers stan first human second
d e v o n
noise dept.
Peter Solarz
Cosimo Galluzzi
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

tannertan36

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tumblr dot com
cherry valley forever
styofa doing anything
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Claire Keane

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dirt enthusiast

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@ramaea-archive
- Nice to meet you.. I guess…
gays, lend me your strength
I shall give you my soul, and you will be the most powerful gay to ever gay.
thank you so much.
lesbians, lend me your strength
I give you my heart, so you can have the power of all the lesbians and be even more gay than before
I am forever in your debt.
aces, lend me your strength
I give you my essence, so that why you possess the power of gay as well as having not just one, but many aces of power up your sleeve.
I owe you my life.
transgender and nonbinary folks, lend me your strength
i give you my tiddies because i dont fuckign want them
I could never thank you enough.
bi and pan peeps, lend me your strength
I am eternally grateful.
now, all remaining LGBT+ members, please collectively lend me your strength
You have our combined strengths and powers. Ascend as a God for there can no longer be forces against us. We are billions as one.
I truly thank you all, from the bottom of my heart thank you.
now,
most tumblr jokes are utterly embarassing to say in public but today i said to someone “bold of you to assume i have dignity” and i won’t lie it was the most powerful I’ve felt in years
I was in the car with my family and my mom was talking about how much time she thinks “our generation wastes on the internet” or whatever. And I was explaining how I use the internet to read and curate more interests and hobbies and expand my social horizons etc. and she was just like “Well fine if that’s how you want to live. You can waste all your time on the internet if that’s what you want but I beg to differ” and without thinking I just said “then beg.” and the entire car went silent until we got home. it was the biggest power move i have ever made to date
eat up! (my piece for @bnhaquirkzine last year)
The last Twilight movie comes out this month. It's time for a Robert Pattinson Tumblr roundup!
I think we should all celebrate by taking a moment to appreciate Robert Pattinson’s attitude and I’m laughing so much right now.
JUST ALL THAT HE IS.
I mean
LOOK
Robert Pattinson’s ‘Twilight’ commentary.
I just
I’m going to miss this
the last twilight movie came out in 2012. it is now 2018. i just want to know who the hell reblogged this 6 year old post onto my dash. because i love you
It actually made me go from hating the actors to loving them once I realized they thought the books and movies were as shitty as I thought they were
@bennygal16
My question is why did you sign up to play the role if you hate it so much? I mean this is funny but STILL.
because
I would let a movie studio wax me and use me as a surfboard for a fraction of that bank. I don’t even remotely question his motives.
Understandable. Have a great day.
in superman adventures #19, there’s a villain named multi-face who can convincingly disguise himself as anyone, even tricking dna tests and x-ray vision. Superman initially can’t stop him
and the only reason he gets caught is because multiface decides to disguise himself as, of all people, CLARK KENT i’m screaming
why do villains always mess up so badly
Clark Kent attending Bruce Wayne’s yacht party where Bruce told Clark to wear his clothes and……
Ta-Da!
Sard borken
calling the people at the party Bruce’s “fake friends” as if he’s Bruce’s only real friend and he’s low key jealous
Okay I absolutely love this comic but I gotta offer a correction because I got the chance to read this recently and the real context is even better: Clark and Bruce have never met at this point. Clark ended up on this yaught by accident and the people there just assumed he was Bruce Wayne making an entrance because none of them have ever met him. Clark isn’t even Superman at this point, he’s still just a twenty-something from kansas with super powers trying to figure his shit out, and he just stumbles into a billionaire’s yaught party and then foils an assassination attempt on accident. The best part is that Bruce finds out about this incident bc he obviously has surveilance on the parties he never attends and he’s just completely fucking baffled. I’m pretty sure this incident is why he knows Superman’s secret identity. What a fucking first impression. Absolutely legendary.
【Fate】言峰綺礼とギルガメッシュ
11/15 MAD TRIGGER CREW - BAYSIDE M.T.C [Early release] G anthem of Y-CITY - Samatoki Aohitsugi (CV Asanuma Shintaro) Note : 11/11 Happy Birthday Samatoki-sama :))
Hey what’s up, that HTTYD 3 poster got me fucked up
So this official poster has been released for How To Train Your Dragon 3 and it has left me with… opinions.
My first initial reaction was excitement! Oh hell yeah HTTYD 3 is coming out! I adored the first two! But then i saw…
SIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHH I knew immediately that this was most likely a female night fury and fuck yeah shit fuck it is which is so disappointing. I could write a huge essay on how female characters are portrayed in media. I could write a massive blog about smurfette syndrome and how female characters are always just a pink, soft version of their male counterparts, or how female animal or anthro characters still have to fall into society’s beauty standards so we do crazy things like give ducks tits or large eyelashes.
I COULD talk about why these things occur, and how this is a worrying reflection of how society views human females, that males are the default and females are the other… but I’m not going to do that TODAY.
Hi my name is India and not only do I have an animation degree, but I also have a degree in animal and veterinary science.
This design doesn’t just insult me as an animator. This design insults me as a scientist.
Let’s begin.
Keep reading
tbh this was my first reaction lmao i do think the female NF is beautiful, but in terms of a scientific approach in terms of how male and female lizards and birds are colored, its definitely backwards lol still excited! still want to see the new movie! but definitely a big time sigh bcuz its the same ol same ol
if you didn’t already think thor ragnarok was one of the best films in the marvel cinematic universe please consider: this picture
hi i’m tolkien here are my ocs. i call them Elves (not elfs!!! if you call them elfs i will block you) they look like humans but they’re tall, live forever, and have pointy ears. that’s it bye
cs lewis: are you alright with constructive criticism? i dont want to sound mean
tolkien: no go ahead i want to hear it
cs lewis: they fucking suck
tolkien: thats not constructive criticism
cs lewis: here’s my OC, it’s jesus but he’s a lion tolkien: Furry cs lewis: blocked
Tolkien: lamp posts don’t exist in fantasy worlds Cs Lewis: ok you know what fuck you
CS Lewis: I could beta for you if you want. help you trim the fat on your stories
Tolkien: what do you mean
CS Lewis: I just. you describe a lot of trees. are trees that important
Tolkien: just you fucking wait. trees are SO important.
~and that day, Tolkien invented ents~
@urulokid
CS Lewis: Not more trees.
Tolkien: This one’s based on you.
casual reminder that Lewis and Tolkein almost completely ended their friendship over Lewis having Santa make an appearance in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe because Tolkein hated it so fucking much.
CS Lewis: bitch
Tolkien: blocked
CS Lewis: wait unblock me i need to tell you something
Tolkien: unblocked
CS Lewis: bitch
Lol same
Maybe adults aren’t afraid of monsters under the bed anymore because we know that if we get eaten by one we won’t have to go to work the next day.
srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time
like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him
if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.
she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact
it’s a f***ing trap
F***ing hate dudes forreal.
too many f***ing times ugh
Story time. One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting. Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.” At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me. I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes. I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?” I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him. People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again. I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe.
SECOND STORY TIME
So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date.
Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?”
This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that.
AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word-
“If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left.
So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware.
Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life.
I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders.
Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching.
It: 1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help. 2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention. 3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps.
Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need.
Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem
Ok, I wasn’t going to comment about this, because there was no way of doing it without talking about a part of my life I really didn’t want to. But fuck that, there be young girls out there who need a hand.
So I used to be hot when I was young. I mean, model hot, because I actually used to model. Even now, I’ve let myself go on purpose because I was tired of the harassment. But I fit a UK size 6 with a pert ass from volleyball and a cup c breast. As you can imagine, I couldn’t wear anything or go ANYWHERE without being harassed. I sometimes even happened in church.
Anyway, I’m not a shrinking lily, and when I get angry enough I can do some crazy shit. So here are some of my coping mechanisms:
1) find a matronly looking lady, run up to her with ‘aunt may! I haven’t seen you in ages! ’ then whisper ‘please help he’s harassing me!’. 99.9 times out of 100, she will be scandalised and help you anyway even if she’s annoyed or in a hurry. If no older lady is available, find a younger one, or a nun, or a trans lady. We of the sisterhood know what it is to be harnessed, and I guarantee if you look frightened enough, they will help.
2) If you are out alone at night, and someone is following you, spot a house or apartment where the lights are on and knock, asking ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or ‘john’ to let you in. Even if the people inside are annoyed, odds are they won’t turn you away, and you can phone someone to pick you up, or phone the police from a safe space
3) Make noise. Cry and scream loudly, call them out ‘i don’t know you and you are terrifying me! Please get away from me!’ if there are people around. Even if they don’t help directly for fear of their own safety, someone around you is calling security or 911.
4) speak a foreign language. If you know it, speak the language to them fast and incessantly, like you have just met someone you knew and you’re just giving the best performance rant of why your OTP is the best OTP. Make yourself ANNOYING. Think about what would be awkward and annoying to you and make it what you do to them. If you make them think YOU are something to get away from they will leave you in peace.
Now beware, the following ones are the CRAZY ones and may not always work. But they are a valid last resort:
5) stare at them. Stare at them like you’re hungry and they are a hapless deer you’re going to tear to pieces. Like yours the girl from the ring emerging from the TV to kill them. Don’t smile, don’t change your expression. DON’T BLINK. Hold their state like you’re Wednesday Adams about to do unspeakable things to a spider, and they are the spider. Even the most courageous of stalkers balk at this, but if they don’t…
6) Use the Hannibal Lector. After staring at them for and extended period of time (imagine all the things that have made you scared, imagine you could get revenge on them for putting you here, that’s the thought you need to have), if they are getting closer to you, whisper something like ‘i would fry your liver in garlic’. Even the hardiest ones will be taken aback, but keep it up while making sure you don’t let the others hear you. Things like, occult star readings requiring blood, wondering whether he is the offering the spirits sent. If you’re on this site you’ve read some weird shit at least once. Tell him that. Tell him you would like him to meet your lord, Vlad the Impaler, who requires much blood to be appeased. Be a stereotypical ‘crazy bitch’ like they see in the movies. Believe it or not, this has worked for me twice.
Above all, banish the notion that you have to be polite.
They were impolite by approaching you. If you can, ignore them. If you are not alone, pointedly put headphones in your ear, and don’t make eye contact, wait for them to realise that ‘youre a bitch anyway’ and move away. If you are alone, evade and find places and ways to fix that as soon as POSSIBLE.
And if all else fails, summon Satan.
Something I have learned at work:
Never underestimate the power of a good “EXCUSE me????”
Legit. It makes people STOP IN THEIR TRACKS. This is the one I whip out when people start swearing at me over the headset and always, without fail, they stop what they’re saying, shocked.
Go for offended, and go for loud. Not yelling loud, but giving-your-best-presentation loud. “EXCUSE me??? You approached me two minutes ago, I don’t even know your name, and you want WHAT? Creep.”
For one, the presentation will shock them. For another, that indignant tone? EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GOING TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS JUICY SHIT.
Now the second key here is, DON’T LET HIM JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). He smiles and goes “I just wanted–” FUCKING INTERRUPT HIM. Firmly. Irritably. “I heard what you wanted, and I’ve already declined once. Maybe you should go back to kindergarten where they teach you no means no.” Run right over the fucker. He’s not respecting your words, you don’t need to respect his.
A further note: if you’re an iPhone user, you can use Siri to call 911. (I know Android has a similar function, but I don’t know what it is–play with your AI and find out.) If you’re in a secluded area, this works well; I used to walk home from work at 2am and had to do it twice. Make eye contact with your harasser, activate Siri, and loudly, firmly say “Siri, call 911.” Siri will immediately reply “calling emergency services.” (It actually takes five seconds to activate, but there’s a Call Now button if you need it.) Almost ALWAYS the person harassing you would rather take off than wait for you to get a dispatcher on the line.
As they say on the podcast, My Favorite Murder:
Fuck Politeness.
This is NOT the kind of thing I usually post on here, but this is something that every female [or, every person honestly, harrassment isnt a one way street]needs to see. This is a fairly active blog, so I hope to see numerous reblogs.
this. is. so. important. everyone should take some time to read this!!
It’s so true…
Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like:
“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?”
“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.”
“…Noted.”
“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.”
“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”
“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”
“Yeah.”
“Does such a process not hurt?”
“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.”
“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?”
“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?”
“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.”
I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs.
Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues