random-quirky-human

not a bear

[dogpuppy]

how it feels to say good morning to strangers while on a walk

[luetta]

canaries were used in coalmines due to their incredibly hard beaks, they could break through stone as well as any pickaxe

[steveyockey]

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

[playthings2007]

Keep salting the wound I'm close

[zsnes]

[twiggy-boy]

"what is this BABY doing in space!???"

-Rocky, probably

[thulium]

[djkoenig-deactivated20140905]

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

[chronically-ill-dandy]

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

[helloitsbees]

check out the mourning doves’ new single “hooOOOO hoo hoo hoo” if you get the chance. sound of the summer.

[helloitsbees]

….?

???????????

[helloitsbees]

oh wait this is EXTRAORDINARILY delightful. this isn’t a case of Blorbo From My Shows this is Henrietta Pickles From My Porch

[teaboot]

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

[teaboot]

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

[teaboot]

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

[malinaa]

what if we all explode

[derring-do]

This very production of Orpheus & Eurydice is now available to stream, free, for the month of June.

[brigittefitzgerald]

how it feels to work in customer service when the customer tries to joke with you

[samglyph]

Funny when someone introduces you to something, you get really into it, and then they lose all interest in it. Oh so you’re just going to abandon me at the party you invited me to. Dude you were my ride.

[cerastes]

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

[cerastes]

This sux00rz…

[catcrumb]

[draizetrain]

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

[velvetys]

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars