A BIOLOGICAL COMPUTER WITH MULTIPLE USERS @randomlyaccessedmemories - Tumblr Blog

Your trauma is valid, even if you reacted in "bad" ways to the things they did to you. You did these things while you were being abused and backed into a corner. Reacting, even in "bad" ways does not make your trauma invalid, or make you deserving of it. You could never deserve it.

b4rfbrain

identitty-dickruption

hey. person who is recovering from childhood trauma. when you talk about things that have happened to you, you do not need to add a million caveats about how "my parents tried their best" or "it wasn't that bad" or "I had plenty of good times along with the bad". you do not have to make yourself feel guilty for just saying "yeah that sucks". I believe you. it did suck. it should never have happened. and you do not need to mentally apologise to your parents for saying so

vyvilha

to all the victims of csa who have never told anyone. to all the victims of csa who don't remember, clearly or at all. to all the victims of csa who struggle with understanding if it was "bad enough". to all the victims of child on child sa. to all the victims of csa who are still repulsed to sex or even to all physical touch. to all the victims of csa who don't wish to "overcome" their repulsion to sex or physical touch. to all the victims of csa who freeze, who dissociate, who cry and rage easily. i love you i love you i love you. they don't know you. you know you. trust yourself. trust your body. you decide what to do with what happened. you decide how you feel. keep going

thememedaddy

n4rcoticsanonymous

hel7l7

I know I don't have to be ashamed of my struggle, but I still feel so much shame & internalized stigma

2 nights ago night was a mind bending dream about the fiance cheating and abandoning me while insisting everything was good and fine. Last night was about the best friend who actually did abandon us.

I'm pretty sure my brain is trying to process the loss of that best friend but it's still struggling even though it's been at least 2 years since they stopped talking.

No explanation... no idea. One day it was I miss you and want to hang out but I was on a respirator dying over covid and couldn't. And then suddenly it was just silence.

Spent a year sending one sided messages before I felt like it was just beating a dead horse.

Yet I'm so stupid I still want to send them a happy birthday text every year because I worry they're not well and don't want them to feel forgotten.

I feel like ripping myself apart over it all

bee-fox

I think that it's really important for people to realize that being disabled is traumatic. genuinely. your body and brain feel like they are breaking down and wrong. you are in constant heavy stress from stuff like chronic pain. most disabled people i know have a somewhat regular emotional break down from the trauma of it all. and we are expected to just smile through it by society, to not be in the way, to not be an issue.

#chronic illnesses #disability

desultory-suggestions

One of the weirdest thing about growing up suicidal is that you assume you have no future, you don’t even try to envision it because you see no point. So eventually, you start assuming everyone else sees nothing in your future either. Recently, my friend and I were talking and she said something about how at her wedding I could wear a suit or a dress as long as it matched her bridesmaid’s dresses because the butler of honor has to make a good impression. This hit me so hard because I had never realized before how other people thought about me. She said it so casually like it wasn’t even a hard decision, just a given fact. She loves me so much she saw me at her wedding, standing with her on one of the most important days of her life. And you know what? There are so many people who think about you that way. If that isn’t proof that you should keep going I don’t know what is.

self-loving-vampire

This is called a sense of foreshortened future and it is also very common in traumatized people, particularly in cases involving long-term abuse or the death of a loved one.