likes: SCARAMOUCHE, bsd, lots and lots of fandoms i don't feel like writing but those are my main 2, reading, being EXTREMELY silly
dislikes: SCARAMOUCHE, almost everyone in my generation
upload schedule: uhhhhhh ermmmmmm ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (i have no idea)
yes i do smut, but i hold the right to say no to your request if i don't wanna write it. im fine with almost all kinks except anything really REALLY weird (piss kink and shit like that).
I ALSO WRITE NOT ROMANCE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOEEOEOO
anyways yeah i also LOVE giving my shit takes about things even though that shit does NOT matter!!!
last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting āpotassium, potassiumā and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere
this post has haunted me for like 3 years. every time i start to think i imagined it, it shows up on my dash again and then immediately disappears into the ether for another 17 months
your wanderer is so good like what??? you could literally tell me that you worked for hoyoverse and i would be like yeah that makes sense. anyway i was wondering what if wanderer had a girlfriend that was immortal like him? maybe even one that acts a little like him or has the same trauma?
If praises could kill, anon, I wouldnāt be able to answer your askā¦ I beseech thee, have mercy on me! And yet again I let myself drift away from the theme of the ask... Perhaps???
Since he had (and still has, to some extent) lingering issues related to both immortals (namely that one certain woman who spurned her own creation) and mortals alike, I donāt think that Wandererās initial attitude would change that much if youād also happen to be an immortal being. Heād be still as cautious around you, putting little credence in your words and actions; yet given that heās quite a clever and perceptive little fellow, heād be quick to sense distrust and unease in you as well (and if youāre devoted to keeping your identity a secret, it wouldnāt take long for him to expose your cover either ā donāt forget that over the course of centuries, he accumulated no less amount of specific knowledge than you).
Once your past is revealed to his judgment, you might think that you could be someone he might easily connect with, considering how similar your experiences are. But itād be a mistake on your part to presume that the former Fatui Harbinger would empathize with you and actively seek your company solely because of this worldās apparent aversion to both of you. His interest would be piqued, no doubt ā he will be definitely intrigued by your persona. But that interest alone wouldnāt be sufficient for him to contemplate entering into a romantic relationship with you ā you would need to maintain that interest and show him that you have immense potential; that you wouldnāt waste his time and instead would end up being a fine complement to his routine (in that regard youād not be that different from a human woman, for the quest shall be of equal difficulty). There are some challenges you might face in your immortal & immortal dynamic, and the hardest of them all would concern (surprisingly enough) the aforementioned similarities between the two of you.
Considering that your personality might be as aloof and bitter as his own, neither of you might want to make a first step. Itās a crucial part of establishing any kind of relationship, after all, and since you both would be far from overcoming your pain any time soon, the situation might end in a stalemate. Unfortunately, Wanderer is too arrogant and too troubled to express his interest in you directly ā he might come to actually like you once the strength of your character is proven, but his inability to properly communicate with people and interact with them outside of the usual āmutual businessā pattern would prevent him from ever courting you. Thus, the task of laying the foundation for your future relationship shall fall on your shoulders ā if you wonāt come out of your shell and take the initiative, then youāll never resolve the said stalemate; if you wonāt attempt to fight your demons, youāll get nowhere.
If you were an ordinary human female, you couldāve eventually won him over with your innocence and benignity (because heās drawn to purity and kindness of human hearts from his very birth, and itās a weakness heāll never completely eliminate) ā human women are indeed infamously known for their persistence and willpower when it comes to matters of love (at least in his eyes; those Yae Publishing House romantic novels were surely not misleading him in his Kabukimono days, right?). Yet youāre anything but innocent and/or nice ā you are a member of a long-life species who suffered hardships incomprehensible to mortals and was subjected to horrors you wouldnāt wish on your worst enemy; in a way, youāve been defiled of the majority of your virtues. You ought to invent another approach: you must appeal to the common origins of your struggles and convince (preferably with actions, not words) him that you could work together as a pair precisely because of your firm understanding of each otherās past and the impact that your mental scars have left on your souls. Birds of a feather flock together, so how about bonding over your shared trauma and healing each otherās wounds? Donāt be too pushy and do try not to appear as a manipulative entity serving her own dubious agenda, for the puppet is not as susceptible to manipulations as he was before, back when his strings were still intact; do remember that ābirds of a featherā thing was once his reason for siding with the ābadā guys, so you must choose your words carefully and phrase your arguments flawlessly, acting in accordance with your sincere intentions (you donāt want to be disowned, do you?).
Growing bored of your lover (why would you ever grow bored of such an entertainingly complex man, though?) and/or burning out from your relationship is also a problem you might someday encounter ā but this time, itād apply exclusively to you. You must be ready to embrace the fact that Wanderer (even a fully reformed one!) is a creature who harbors strong emotions and attachments; if anything, this was the cause of all his past incarnationsā downfalls. If you manage to obtain his love, then you must realize that you wonāt ever be free to love anyone else but him ā perceive this as the unjust contract you signed of your own volition. The concept of eternal devotion, in a rather ironic twist of fate, is not foreign to his cynical self ā if he is with you, then you wonāt be given a chance to leave him and have another man in your very, very long life simply because heād aim to be your only man. He would never renounce his ownership over you, so itās recommended that you weigh all the consequences that come with accepting the once nameless doll as your lover ā as a woman who has been through a lot, you must be aware of the drastic temperament of oneās commitment (and you are definitely not that foolish to overestimate the longevity of your feelings and not that naĆÆve to think that you would be able to successfully escape his grasp after silently promising him to stay together for millennia, are you?). A mortal woman could escape it by means of inevitable death, but youā¦ If you dare to betray him (ābetrayā him in his own interpretation of the term, to be exact), expect him to haunt you forever skin to a vengeful ghost, with all his drawbacks and obsessions reanimated because why, why would you, of all people, abandon him (him, who has finally gotten a name, a new life, and a significant presence in his existence to cherish until this realm burns you two to ashes?).
Speaking of positive aspects of your relationship, youād predictably avoid a great deal of obstacles that wouldāve befallen a mortal lady. There would be plenty of advantages youād hold over a human woman: for instance, Wanderer would be willing to allow you to travel with him (something that his overprotective and overly paranoid self wouldāve never allowed his human lover to do, regardless of her occupation) and participate in combat if necessary (heād teach you how to fight just in case you lack either a Vision or skills required to protect yourself, but beware: heād be a very strict teacher) ā depending on your type of immortality, he might not be inclined to worry about losing you in a heated battle with either living beings or environmental conditions (and nothing would be as delightful and pleasurable as shredding a pack of vile brutes to bloody pieces together). Due to special properties of your character, youād also probably never genuinely annoy him or enrage him ā all distant and unapproving of indolence (thanks to your resemblance to him in terms of personality traits), you wouldnāt force him to chastise you or mock you, and your antics wouldnāt ever play on his nerves (because youād obviously never resort to such childish behavior); youād add a note of harmony to his once discordant life. What flaws Wanderer wouldāve loathed in his human lover would be naturally absent in you, and if youād somehow succumb to any imperfections inherent in human beings, heād be only slightly frustrated than outright furious (āTo think that after centuries of unjust treatment, you would converse with them so nonchalantly,ā the indigo-haired youth would huff, visibly uncomfortable at the sight of you talking to human children, andā¦ Wait, did he accuse literal children of having abused you?)
On the other hand, you ā as his immortal lover ā would only fuel his antipathy towards mortals, whereas the gentle influence of his human lover wouldāve changed his prejudiced opinion on humans overall.
It goes without saying that heād still uphold his cold, sarcastic front and tease you in a rather blunt (read: mean) yet playful fashion whenever heād get the chance, but hey ā why would you, a woman of equally intricate temper, feel anything but appreciation of his peculiar manner of conveying affection? On the contrary, youād be capable of enjoying his unruly self more so than any woman on this continent.
Yet the most important and unique detail about your relationship would be the intensity of Wandererās fear of good old imminent separation ā to be precise, that fear would evaporate in a blink. Since youāre an immortal yourself, there would be no point in overthinking certainā¦ things. Heād be more relaxed compared to his usual tense self and a bit more open to the idea of letting you enjoy your life once in a while without him interfering and watching over you like a mother hen; unlike mortal insects who are always at risk of being swayed even by the gentlest gust of wind, youāre competent, capable, and not that fragile to be crushed so easily. You wonāt be the source of yet another tragedy, for death wonāt claim you ā the cruelty of old age or terminal illness shall never bother you, and he wonāt be afraid of other causes because heāll never let anything or anyone land a scratch on you. What he wouldāve feared most in his supposed relationship with a mortal female will simply not exist in his relationship with you ā youāll be truly, undisputably his. Dread of abandonment will still be alive deep inside his psyche, however (after all, other men do breathe and walk); just as a fair share of his other, good old (āI am not worthy of something thatās not awfulā, for example) insecurities. But that particular fear of being unable to keep his promise of everlasting loyalty wonāt be gnawing at his illusionary heart anymoreā
Because that hollow heart of his will be finally filled with purpose to beat for.
A/N: because I genuinely can't stop thinking about Scaramouche putting his makeup on you! It's been keeping me up at night.
Diluc: With jewelry
You sparkle when you walk into a room. Not just your glowing eyes or large, puffy dresses, but also what adornes your body. A pendant around your neck, large gem rings on your fingers, and earrings, more expensive than most could afford. People wondered if maybe all of your gems and stones were too heavy, maybe that's why despite the fact that you looked so lavish, you never smiled.
Dilcuc would be at your side, slipping another ring onto your finger. The other ladies would fawn at the sight, silently wishing for a man who wanted to adorn them with silver and gold, but to you, every ring, every stone, every bracelet, and every gem was another lock on the chain harboring you to him, claiming you as his.
Childe: With Bruises
Your neck is littered with love bites, your thighs covered in scratches from where his nails would dig into them, your wrist would have markings around them, from where he would hold you down, pressing passionate kisses and maybe more if he desired.
Even though you were embarrassed by the blatant proof of what he'd done to you all over your body, he still made sure you wore rather revealing clothing. You'd flush with embarrassed, knowing eyes looking all over you, but Childe would smile happily. A hand around your waist would caress you, making it known that he wished to claim you more.
Scaramouche: With make-up
How did everyone know that you were married to number six of the Fatui harbingers? Well, they had to look no further than your eyes, framed in that familiar red shade. The first time he makes you wear it, it's because you watched as he did his own. His nimble fingers held the brush like it was second nature, creating the lines against his eye with ease.
āCome here,ā he'll order while still standing in front of the mirror. Before you can ask what he needs from you, he's already squeezing your cheeks between those same fingers, holding your face in place.
The brush tickles as it slides across your eyelids, making you shake a bit in his grasp as you hold back laughter. The smile on your face making his demeanor melt for just a moment, he softens and stops his work, just staring at your features, āI know how it feels. Stop moving,ā he'll order. And you do your best to obey.
The sight of your smile is more than enough to make this a habit, instead of a one off thing. Everyday after your kimono dressing, he calls you to him, holding the brush stained with that familiar red makeup.
for some reason yall have stuck around this long so now your gonna get the MOST self indulgent sammi posting with the awnser to this
we go back to 2014 when i first watch that shitty live action mario movie, it was so bad i loved it so much. i knew it sucked but i was SO into it i loved it so much
and i specifically had a small crush on the lady who played the character big bertha, who was based on a one off comic character who was a giant cheep cheep who had a crush on mario. and in the movie was was also into mario. and let me tell you 14-15 year old cringe ass sammi drew SO much fanart of her as a mermaid who was in love with mario
so this one goes out to little crange ass baby nae nae sammiĀ
I was already on board with his sweet wholesome open-to-love-and-nurturing heart but I was fully unprepared for getting to that last tweet and seeing how off the hook HOT dude is
not to be a nerd but itās so crazy how he (Bernini) really did that from cold hard stoneā¦ā¦. truly a spectacle, truly breathtaking, an honor to behold
this is the one art form I genuinely just cannot get my brain to accept as real. Iāve watched sped-up videos of it being done, read about it, seen in-progress marble statues and I still just canāt get it to sink in or stick. My mind doesnāt want to believe that any person has ever been able to start with a big block and break little bits off of it until it looks like a finely detailed person. At some point it has no recognizable shape and they still know where and how deep they should take a chip out of it thatāll still be the right decision 50,000 fucking chips later?!?
online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.
and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.
there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't think anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.
i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.
"hes so bbg" @ranposgirlboss - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
