Parenting 101 by Battinson Bruce Wayne
Bruce, crouched in a corner, shuffling through a case file: where is Alfred
Dick: Remember he went to England last week?? I’m hungry! You have to feed me.
Bruce: *shuffles over to the mini fridge he has in the cave, finds a bag of shredded cheese, sits on the ground with it*
Dick: That’s just cheese tho??
Dick, a ten year old: *shrugs* ok cool!
Dick, testing boundaries: I want to watch Jurassic Park.
Dick: I-It’s midnight?? I have school tomorrow?
Bruce, wearing a ratty old bathrobe and some flannel pants, eyes glued to the floor and hair falling in his face: caniwatchitwithyou
Dick: yeah?? but it’s really late???
Bruce: do you want popcorn
Dick, a ten year old: *shrugs* ok cool!
Dick: B I got into a fight today at school
Bruce: *shines a flashlight at Dick’s face*
Dick: I’m not hurt. They were teasing me for being a circus boy.
Dick: …Sort of? Am I in trouble?
Bruce: *turns flashlight off and goes back to his case file* i can teach you some fighting techniques
Dick, a ten year old: *shrugs* ok cool!
Dick: We have parent day at school next week.
Dick: Um…the parents have to present what they do as a job. So I guess you can talk about your company. Just a five minute presentation.
Bruce: *vibrating, tearing up* presentation?
Dick: Alyssa’s mom made a PowerPoint.
Bruce: I can call you out and we will go to the zoo.
Dick, a ten year old: *shrugs* ok cool!
Bruce, hunched over, covered in grime:
Dick: You’re going to take me out on the next case with you.
Dick: *intense eye contact*
Bruce, shriveling up: okay but you need a costume
Dick, a ten year old: *shrugs* ok cool!