who's this?

nineteen

[ferot]

[optimisticbananaharmony-deactiv]

slasher movie where instead of the killers motivation being a dead child or abuse or whatever theyre a retail employee

[evilnicegirl]

what they dont tell you about those little hand baskets in the grocery store is if you put enough things in them they get heavy

[cipheramnesia]

girl help, I have a gallon of milk in my basket

[thea-nymo]

There's a great solution to this! Absolute life hack!!! (!)

You can just drink the milk to make the basket lighter again

[cipheramnesia]

I have been banned from Trader Joe's again.

[thea-nymo]

There's a great solution to this! Absolute life hack!!! (!!)

Just wear a fake mustache to get around this.

[cipheramnesia]

I have been detained for impersonating a surgeon 😢

[thea-nymo]

There's a great solution to this! Absolute life hack!!! (!!!)

Just impersonate a judge to overrule the detention

[cipheramnesia]

Too late, I have murdered everyone. 😅

[thea-nymo]

There's a great solution to this! Absolute life hack!!! (!!!!)

You can just do some minor necromancy to solve this!

[cipheramnesia]

Help, I have unleashed the dark forces of an extradimensional reality. ☺

[thea-nymo]

There's a great solution to this! Absolute life hack!!! (!!!!!)

You can just use some lemon juice to clean uo the dark forces of an extradimensional reality.

[cipheramnesia]

Wow! I tried this amazing life hack and it really worked!

Anyway, I gotta go to the store. Outta milk.

[kyraneko]

Netflix doesn't have shows like this. Tumblr does and it's free.

[egggru]

[crushedcoffeeberries]

[kosmia]

Marc Pouyet

[thyrell]

[shelbygraces]

ok but flower blocks would be sick gimme

[frottinq]

When the mutual you really enjoy seeing in ur notes shows up in ur notes

[ascaryghost-deactivated20251216]

me and who

[hungwy]

every day my dad tries to talk to me about career things while im in the most intense apex fight of my life

[hungwy]

download killing upload pain. instant thousand deaths to brain. motherboard on murder spree. blood computer victory.

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

my friends hate this video so much i don't even have to repost it in discord anymore i'll just be in a voice call and go "wouldn't it be crazy if the joker could beatbox" and they all tell me to go kill myself

[doubleca5t]

[mars1309]

[hoofpeet]

Good morning to bitches who cant remember half their life

[dajo42]

i couldnt survive in a sitcom

[dajo42]

so many characters are just dicks for absolutely no reason and i would. simply have to punch them. the way people treat each other in like every single sitcom makes me so angry and i would be on full punch mode all the time and go to comedy jail

[teaboot]

I need you to know that I would emphatically and without question pay real human dollars to watch a season of ‘Friends’ where you appear to routinely beat the shit out of Ross Geller

[dajo42]

just so everybody knows i have literally no idea why my blog shows as deactivated in the reblog. my working theory is that half of me is currently in the friends universe beating the shit out of ross geller

[sabertoothwalrus]

underrated part of petting a cat is when you reach over their head to scratch their back and they bonk their head on ur arm

that’s the stuff………………

[thyrell]

just came up with a really good 4 word cooking horror story but idk if you guys are ready for it

[thyrell]

2 cups vanilla extract

[weaselle]

okay but what did they cook after they drank two cups of vanilla extract?

[mortimermcmirestinks]

wow! never seen someone invent a whole new type of sin in just 14 words before!