@theartofmadeline
#extradirty
pixel skylines
dirt enthusiast
hello vonnie
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
AnasAbdin
No title available
Sweet Seals For You, Always
cherry valley forever
Origami Around
Claire Keane
almost home
No title available
β£ Chile in a Photography β£
Product Placement
Keni
I'd rather be in outer space πΈ
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
$LAYYYTER
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@ratdog-thing
to grow is to change, and all changes hurt. we managed to shed our skin again and i take pleasure in my own rebirth.
#woodlice is for learning how to eat again #iodine is for vain attempts to help ourselves to heal from the radiation of the past events #seventh is for preaching from hights of psychosis #ocean is for drowning in dreams #sun will not rise tomorrow if we wouldn't get those thoughts out of our head
Spoon in the shape of a fish. Carved from some Sycamore I found just outside Wivenhoe, Essex.
op i love your fish so much i made it a png
they are now a school of fish
i need a school of spoons in my drawer
i was hatecrimed in a way that hurt for the first time in forever and it feels weird
was agonizing at my therapist today about how I don't write anything ever and she said "well you're the coauthor of a game that gets sold in real bookstores" and I said that doesn't count I just helped out and she said "well you journal every day" and I said that's nothing no one reads that and she said "aren't you internet famous or something, don't you write for that?" and I said neverrrrrr bring that up again
gods i had similar conversation with my psychodietetician literally last week and the worst part of it is that i already had this conversation with her once before (it didn't have the "internet famous" in it bc i stopped being on the internet after i was attacked to the point of daily flashbacks, losing my job bc of the pstd coming with full force and almost commiting suicide........... because i wanted to stop being called another victim in my gf's callout (they refused to warn me of her when i directly asked before callout if she's safe to be around))
and it's like. the way my mother operates makes it so hard to even describe her manipulations and she'd never openly admit to it same as she's never admitting anything else. quite frankly the woman probably haven't spoken a word of truth in the past 40 years.
and then there are things that are hard to believe, hard to conceptualize for me. hard to say out loud, hard to type down because i don't want them to be true.
i think of my father as somebody i looked up to as a kid. we watched nature and space related documentaries together, he was the one who gave me this curiosity of the world. then he grew distant and i was trying to get closer to him ever since.
i thought that's just the way he is but he isn't this way around my brother. he's just been this way to me.
then now he was threatening me with violence while severly drunk, turning it all into a joke as my brother came by. threatening me because i'm upsetting my mother (upsetting her by feeling angry/offended which i wasn't feeling and i told them both that repeatedly but they didn't believe me because i wasn't coming downstairs and i wasn't coming downstairs because my goddamn ankle was busted (which, by the way, happened because of my mother but now i was supposed to be a grown up about all of this but also just ignore my own pain, as always))
then now he was shouting at me because i was politely asking them to specify their accusations and asking where exactly the insults were coming from, hoping i can address those, work something out, but it turns out i just poked a stick in an anthill because i didn't fall for their cheap manipulations
then now he was shouting at me that they can't trust a word i say ever since i was 14 years old. ever since i tried to kill myself for the first time*. (*it was actually the second time, the first one being a month prior, and even less succesfull, as i just got mighty high instead of hurting myself as i planned)
after this first attempt*, i came to tell them two days after. i was in severe pain that probably would have serious consequences but i "fucked up" and i wouldn't die. i didn't have to come to them to tell them about it but i did.
they've never believed in a single word i say, and i always wanted to trust them, even as they were proving time and time again that they're not worthy of this trust.
somebody liked this post and i actually was thinking about my father recently. i slowly work towards becoming a scientist. a bit late in life, it may come true in 8 years, when i'm gonna be 37. but i'm getting there. i want to be there and it wouldn't have ever happened without him.
The fact that the horrific necktie activates such a specifically imaginative part of his personality, and that he feels it would be an act of great betrayal to take it off, implies that Harry Du Bois has been collared by someone he does not yet remember.
Bisexuals donβt have straight privilege because bisexual people arenβt straight. To make this argument is to argue that trans men arenβt really men. Why are yβall sooooo desperate to invalidate your own gender just to argue that you have Super Special Baby Boy Oppression. Itβs embarrassing
in absolute tears about the pride module at my work
HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...
Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).
felt suicidal but now i've heard this song and im healed
i need it as my morning alarm, each day i would note down at which word i woke up
in absolute tears about the pride module at my work
HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...
Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).
felt suicidal but now i've heard this song and im healed
oh and my classmates are furious at me and saying shit to me, and they have good reason to be but it's adding fuel to the fire to anxiety/paranoia/delusions
eh i feel like we're getting detached from ourselves. we caught some things but clearly not all (one can never catch them all before it happens).
i think we need meds soon. and we have meds, we got them a while ago when we saw prodrome but uhhh idk
we don't know if it's bad or not. we just know it has come. it took oleander and we tried to get him out but it didn't work.
the void still believes we can pull him out but i really think it's better to act now when it's not gonna be so hard to take them before psychosis gets too bad.
we started making neocities page recently for a few things we'd rather keep and never lose that aren't confidential.
and it absolutely changed the game, making it relaxes us and we're literally learning but we don't feel like it bc what do you mean "learning" when all i want is to change this background pattern and change size of this shit here. it's wonderful.
im daydreaming about pc cases again this is so incredibly sexy
i fucking love weird pc case shapes its my fetish
yeah....
love these love to see them
where does one find them..........
You have a lot of interesting parts inside you
Hey , I look at r/systemscringe due to paranoia of being there , & I found your post
I try to tell anyone I find , but feel free to delete this ask if you do not want to know / do not want to react / any reason you find fitting
https://www.reddit.com/r/SystemsCringe/comments/1tjp884/two_opposite_ends_of_faking_are_fighting_each/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
You know your post is good when reddit incels post you on a cringe subreddit /silly
In all seriousness ty for showing us! We don't mind that we were posted bc half of those users probably don't go outside on a regular basis, but we do appreciate being told about this!
(It made Meraki giggle)
Incels? Did you know half of us are women, myself included, and most of us have partners that love us very much. And as for the βnot going outsideβ thing, in the discord I have seen numerous photos of others outside. Iβm certain we collectively go outside more than our haters
i love the *reading comprehension: nonexistent* that wish-i-was-lying is giving. one short comment and it's bringing me so much joy. thank you @wish-i-was-lying nad hope you both touch some grass and read a singular book or at least a longer article maybe, love
keep getting glimpses into an alternate timeline where plurality is more normalized and you can buy shitty tshirts and mugs about it
Like this?
ask anyone who actually struggles with disorders that are often glamorized like BPD or OCD and theres a good chance theyll be annoyed that stores sell things that infantalize, sexify, quirkify, or bad-assify their disorders. some genuinely disabled people rock the merch, im not ignoring that, but disabled people did not lead the way to having it in stores unless they opened one themselves
"i was forced to share space with someone faking my disorder and it was awful" is not an uncommon story among disabled people. ive been in that spot myself and i feel like the faker in question would buy a mug about it actually, its almost comical to imagine
Thank you to Reddit for this comment, articulates my thoughts perfectly
some people fought for acceptance, others for equality. and there's no equality until we can buy cringe mugs and shirts about ourselves.
i really feel like an unwanted animal rn
