[spinecutter-archive]

my writing gland is purple and swollen

[spinecutter-archive]

my friendship gland is black and shriveled

[evilvillain123456789]

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

[mtfoss]

Okay so normal rules then

[chameliyun]

just tried to reference the xkcd "today's lucky 10,000" comic but I wanted to explain xkcd first, so I was like "you probably know the one about experts in the field overestimating their audience's familiarity with the subject matter" and uh. he didn't. love me some irony

[fleetwood-mac-andcheese]

[itsbasil]

you put those tags on this post where they belong

[human-pet-they]

They’re adding soulslike elements to Grindr

[spadefish]

[cyberpunkpavlichenko]

The moral of Death Note is that cops raise evil children

[omamervt]

I wish I was better about paying attention to channel names because I did watch a video a while back and this was basically the whole video summed up. Like, everyone knows Light was an arrogant fool who sewed the seeds of his own destruction but his solution to the societal problems he lamented about in the first chapter was literally something only the juvenile son of a cop could have come up with.

To Light, Crime was the source of society's "Rot." And his philosophy on what constituted "crime" was basically about normal-ass people who were willing to break the law. you know, the laws Cops enforce.

It also explains why he's indiscriminate rather than surgical. Because of his own biases, he never stops to consider the flaws in the methods of who gets arrested, or how that never actually seems to have an impact on Crime Rates tm. Cops (like Light) simply see this as evidence that they're not arresting enough people! That they're not going far enough! And these are the values our protagonist was raised with. A surgical strike would let Real Criminals off the hook, while targeting people who, yes, may be more evil by orders of magnitude, but they do it in a LEGAL way!

I don't think the story ever consciously addresses this. The Watsonian explanation for that would be that we don't really get to see exactly WHAT values Light's dad instills in his children - he's a major character, but Light spends far more time putting him on a pedestal than actually engaging with him. A couple Doylist explanations might be either that Ohba didn't condone Light's actions, and considered an outside exploration of his motivations to be either uninteresting to explore, or perhaps too much of a challenge to pull off in a story that so heavily revolves around the protagonist's inner monologue. I think it's far more likely, though, that this wasn't intentional - Light's dad was a cop so that he could be on the Kira taskforce and we could get the drama of Light being hunted by his own father, and the blind spots that created for both characters. Knowing the story, and how these characters are used, I find it hard to believe there were intentional ramifications beyond that. But that doesn't change the fact that they're there, and more than anything it serves as an explanation for why Light was the way he was.

[prokopetz]

Bocchi the Rock! fangame that opens with Kikuri Hiroi waking up alone and apocalyptically hung over in a trashed hotel suite with no memory of the preceding 72 hours. There are at least three separate ways to game over without ever leaving the starting room, one of which involves trying to retrieve your bra from the ceiling fan, flubbing the skill check, and dying instantly.

[clockworkvulpine]

respectable

tags via: @boccher

[unseelie]

​i wish this was in my cart and not someone else’s

[iam0to3yearsold]

you can just take it from their cart. its not their possession if they haven't bought it yet

[unseelie]

if i were thrift shopping and you put your hands into my cart to take a unique handpicked item i was intending to purchase i would break your legs

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Tumblr being the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension site makes sense when you realize that 79% of adults in the US are functionally illiterate. Same goes for Twitter and TikTok.

that's a real high number, sport. where'd you get it?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey anon

please tell me you didn't google "US literacy rates" and then make the funniest possible mistake one could make in that situation

[segamascott]

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[horreurscopes]

never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It

[horreurscopes]

signs at stores? émail? menu ?? instruction ? post online ? caption with andswer to question ? group hand outs ??? street sign ??? no. The Written Word Is The Enemy

[lasrina]

#The number of compliments i have gotten for reading a thing

The ability to occasionally Read A Thing will make you a hero in your workplace, especially if it is for example an error message that tells you what you need to do differently, or instructions on unjamming a printer.

[stephaniematurin]

how dare you say we put jam in the printer

[berkelbites]

Ok reblogging this again because story time.

I work in tech, and much of what I do is support sales reps within the company by resolving errors with the software they use.

There is one sales rep who, every single time I send her a message or email with extremely specific instructions that will resolve her issue, does something completely different from what I tell her. Every time. Without fail. It is so glaringly obvious that she has never read even a single word that I have written to her.

So one day, she sends me a message that says little more than "(software) is broken, help"

So I do my standard song and dance of asking her what she's trying to accomplish, and what specifically is stopping her from doing that. And eventually, after much unnecessary back and forth, she tells me there's an error message. I ask her to send me a screenshot of the error message. She does.

The error message basically says, "these two required fields are blank. To resolve this, please fill in these two specific fields, and then click save."

So I take a few deep breaths.

Then I lie to her.

I message her back, saying "hey yeah, for some reason it's not loading that screenshot on my end. Could you type out the full text of the error message for me?"

She does.

I ask her if she still needs help.

She does not respond.

[samueldays]

I have similar story from tech support.

Client is reporting that Some Thing Program doesn't work. I ask if there's an error message with further information about what's not working. Client says "no". I go over and ask Client to open Some Thing. Client double-clicks on the icon for Some Thing, it starts to boot, an error message dialog flashes up on screen, Client closes error message before I can read it, Thing closes after the error.

"What did that error message say?" I ask.

"What error message?" asks Client.

I tell Client to open the Some Thing again and then not click anything else. Client opens Some Thing, error message appears, Client clicks it away again.

I tell Client to stand up, step away, and give me physical control of the computer. I open Some Thing, start looking at the error message without closing it, and Client says "You should close that." I tell Client that I am reading the error message. Client is apparently accustomed to treating error messages as a kind of spam email that should be deleted as fast as possible, and gets agitated that I'm reading it.

I read the error message. It tells me what the problem is. I fix the problem. Some Thing works now.

---

Later, I start thinking about how such an error message might perhaps be engineered to be more attention-grabbing and close-resistant as a way of making people read it. It's not important for some random program here, but there are more important systems (medical, etc) where it would be reasonable to demand the user's attention because people's lives depend on paying attention to the error message.

But then people with a perverted intellect would still be thinking about ways to avoid reading the message, like dragging it off edge of screen or hiding it behind another window. So maybe the dialog box could have an always-in-front feature to override other windows, and the alert could use the computer's hardware "beep" functionality that can't be switched off by muting the regular sound system, and keep beeping... shit, I realize I'm reinventing pain, and get philosophical about it.

[doccyuk]

Story from The Past about My Mum:

She was a computer programmer / analyst, a... Long Time Ago. Called in for a system she'd installed before, the office folk said they kept having problems where it Didn't Work Right (no error, a malfunction)

She investigated, and told them that could only happen if they did 3 specific things in a specific order, which they should not ever do.

So, she asked, did they ever do that?

No! Of course not, was the answer.

So she made a couple of small changes, packed up and said that should be fine, but they should call her if there were problems.

The next week

She had a call saying "We're getting a strange error message on the system, can you help?"

She said, of course, can they tell her the error?

And the message was:

"You Said You Didn't Do This"

[seven-oh-four]

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

[seven-oh-four]

i hate the notes on this so much so many people are saying shit like "and then the hero shoots the villain while they're looking around!! XD" THAT'S WHAT THE POST ALREADY SAID. THAT'S THE ENTIRE JOKE.

[keiachi-chan]

There's a Pukicho post like this I need to find it

Edit: found it

[seven-oh-four]

maybe... they DIDN'T miss part of the post...! (starts frantically looking around)

[omorinintendoswitchedition]

(i shoot you while youre looking around)

[seven-oh-four]

and then while i'm frantically looking around you shoot me for real this time XD

[longshrimp]

Omg you missed part of the post

[seven-oh-four]

did i? 😏

[longshrimp]

(frantically looks around)

[seven-oh-four]

(i raise my gun to shoot you while you're distracted but the bullet i already fired ricochets all around the room and hits me in the back of the head, killing me instantly)

[pizza-hats-of-the-world-1882]

How dare you say we miss on the poor

[that-one-support]

No one cared who I was until I put on the cage

[pretentious-ravioli]

[baambastic]

The Author’s Barely Disguised Desire to Dom Man Ray apparently

[bonetrousled]

i can't bring myself to work on this anymore take this. now

Visit Original Link

[purronronner]

this is delightful but would it be possible to get some lyrics written out for my audio processing issues—

[bonetrousled]

to the bone (GOOD VERSION) lyrics below the cut

ᴄᴜᴍ grraahr. how was da faaaawf? if you wanna cᵤₘ give us Balls. we don't see ₕyᵤᵤᵤᵤᵤᵤ Balls. i'll be SoDa Pop! [can opening] [slurping] Mmm! hey, Papyrus? what. Papyrus? whaaw. Can-Can! Cum ᴄᴜᴍ ᴄᴜᴍ cᵤₘ. Cum ᴄᴜᴍ ᴄᴜᴍ cᵤₘ ᴀᴀᴀw

you're just Parappa! I've gotta believe! call me what you want, i got. Skin! another bad joke and i'm finished with Skin! we are monsters, the awfullest kind! to ˢᵉˢ with ₛᵤₛ takes a lot of spine ᴼᵁᴳᴴ

wii [wii menu sound] bee [bee sounds] beeeee. eeeeee one day we'll make our way back to the Sus Sus

through lol 𝓵𝓸𝓵 travels your Balls will follow. your Balls aren't easy to swallow. who's the real MaaaMaaa now you should know. you've cut this story down to the ᴄᴜᴍ

really sans? what. the last line of the chorus is ᴄᴜᴍ? yup. YOUIYOUI that was very. CLELC. thanks, Papyrus? you're ₛᵤₛ in the undergound! thanks to da Balls. You're Gay! HOO! prepare to brawl GAME! you could Shush mercy to Shuuush. or turn all of us to Sust. is your heart full of Feef? or full of Lol?

i, the greawr Papaiyaya, challenge 𝕐𝕆𝕌 to try getting Bi! test the humans with one of your Puh-uhls. Sans, leave. LEAVE. i dare you to try a bite of spagheggi! sounds like the creepypasta's ᵐʸʸᵉᵉᵃᵃⁿᵍʰ. STOP IT. SANS.

we can ReerEEREE to your Balls. because YOU FUCK In Dick! [reverse splat] i am the Ass you're 𝙤𝙪𝙪𝙣𝙝𝙪𝙤𝙤𝙪𝙝 still alive Beca𝘶𝘶𝘶𝘶𝘶𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦 you'll Looewl yourmind when you WanDer for houhers. you might even Deciiiiiiiiiiii who's the real monster now you should know. you've FUCKed Cis story down to the Balls

someGay i'll join the royal rawr when i catch this child. can it be that hraaarrrr

[you need a shot of b-12 starts playing] look, if i'm being honest. my brother ain't nothing but harmless. i know you and all that you want. you'll get a lot more from sans than a font. the deeper you go, the messier it gets if i had it my way you'd already be DEAD. kidding if you couldn't tell i get so bored I amuse myself AAAOOOOGH

you're all alone

[zomdead-deactivated20260110]

a gougar

[noah-wyles]

she's the best of us