[pinkafropuff-deactivated2024091]

(tranquilizes my bestie so she has a good night’s sleep)

[captainjonnitkessler]

Super fucked up that I can’t be a master-level expert in knitting AND woodworking AND silversmithing AND embroidery AND soap making AND spinning AND -

[captainjonnitkessler]

“Who would ever want to be immortal? Can you imagine the loneliness, knowing that there’s no one else like you, cursed to outlive -” shut up!! Some of us have shit to do and aren’t cowards!!

[fourteenth-ascian]

happy 4/20

[cutegirlonline-deactivated20181]

my mom warned me about these kinds of internet users

[sexhaver]

i have won this post by process of elimination

[guooey]

[gayrika]

[aquatic-turquoise-deactivated20]

I read that as dual wedding and i had to

[sunnyslidetotheleft]

lets give them a proper skyrim marriage

[g-a-y-g-o-y-l-e]

i love how tumblr users play with jpegs like dolls

[qochita-remade-deactivated20230]

It’s as shrimple as that 🍤

[endlessmidnightparade]

I laughed WAY too hard at this.

[qochita-remade-deactivated20230]

There’s no such thing as laughing too hard, only laughing enough to explain your joy. Never understate or minimize the ways in which you experience happiness peace and love

[toskarin]

the money laundering post is already funny, but the notes section where tumblr users are learning about money laundering makes it even better

[ratsetflummi]

i cannot believe that i am only now learning about the dinosaur king drama

in case you’ve never heard of dinosaur king:

it’s a pretty mediocre anime from the early 90s, that was pretty much just made to market this dinosaur trading card game. the plot was extremely boring (until stuff suddenly started happening around episode 35), and for some reason they decided to have all the dinosaur fights with these incredibly stiff 3d models, which was.. a choice..

all together it was so bad that it’s good (but not particularly good), and kinda forgettable

and then they decided that it needed a remake. they were releasing some new toys, and a video game was being worked on, so in 1999 they released a fucking remake of that weird show

the writers and producers were these two austrian guys, suppenheimer and vemovich

the remake was planned to be two seasons

the original dinosaur king had two seasons as well, the first had 49 episodes, and the second had 30 episodes

the remake was 60 episodes total, and completely ignored season two of the original

suppenheimer and vemovich only retold season one, expanded it a bit, reshuffled some events (namely putting the twist from episode 35 way earlier), giving the characters actual motivations… they actually managed to make the show good

(they still kept in the weird 3d dinosaurs, and the card game tie-ins, because at the core the show was still about marketing the toys)

and then season two ended, neatly tying up the story, and it was genuinely good

and then the network renewed the show for a third season

suppenheimer was done with the show at that point. they only ever wanted to make two seasons, and they had told exactly the story that they wanted to tell, so they were out

but vemovich wasn’t done yet, so he stayed on and wrote season three.

and season four.

and…

the entire remake turned out to be twenty seasons long

and it got weird, lemme tell you

the very first thing vemovich introduced in season three of dinosaur king, the anime about dinosaurs and traveling to the ancient past, was alien space pirates

which i guess makes sense, because they can travel through time, so the future is technically also viable

and then season six was all about one of the main characters becoming a werewolf? which was never fixed, but they also just never mention it at any point after the season six finale

season eleven was all about the love story between one of the supporting cast and one of the antagonists (who had a redemption arc early in season two, but vemovich cast him as a villain again anyway starting in season four)

season sixteen only had one episode where any dinosaurs appeared?? in a show called dinosaur king? and i’m pretty sure they said the word “dinosaur” zero times in that entire season

it was weird, okay, the entire remake was weird after season two

meanwhile, on the forums (and later on twitter), suppenheimer has completely divorced themselves from the show’s production, but they are definitely still watching, and loudly complaining

suppenheimer and vemovich were actually said to be on pretty good terms during the production of the first two seasons, but after that suppenheimer got mean

[id: a tweet by @ cimminimmi from december 2016 that reads “what was the worst show you guys watched this year?”, with a reply from @ suppi_sr (suppenheimer’s twitter) that reads “dinosaur king. for the 5th year in a row.” end id.]

we never really heard anything from vemovich. he was never on any of the forums, and he had a rule of never publicly interacting with any hate whatsoever

so we had suppenheimer just tearing the show down at every point, calling for people to stop watching, and even making several petitions to have the show cancelled, none of which ever went anywhere of course

because we then got season seventeen, which introduces vemovich’s author insert. they are absolutely not subtle about it, the character pretty much goes “hey, my name is vemovich, i’m the guy who is writing this story”

and he just occasionally pops up during the next four seasons

and then season nineteen and twenty are building up to this great unseen danger that is threatening to wipe out the universe

and at the very goddamn end of season twenty, the finale of the entire show, the big threat is finally revealed

so, i’ve said that this entire thing is an anime with weird 3d dinosaurs inserted into it

the big bad, the last villain that was threatening to destroy the fabric of reality… was suppenheimer

a live action suppenheimer, who is greenscreened into the anime world

he is of course stopped by vemovich’s author insert, who up to that point had been 2d animated, but now he is also greenscreened into the show

so the goddamn epic finale of the show is a live action suppenheimer and vemovich fighting, using 3d animated dinosaurs, on this 2d animated battlefield

it looked bad

and then the show is over

but this story is still going

because suppenheimer has spent the last eighteen years tearing apart the show and tearing apart vemovich publicly at least once per week

and then, two years after the show is over

those bastards tweet out that they are married

[id: a twitter conversation between vemovich, suppenheimer, and twitter user abblycidre from october 2021. vemovich is replying “love you, babe” to suppenheimer. suppenheimer replies “love you too.” abblycidre replies “don’t you two have beef?” suppenheimer replies “we can have beef and be married at the same time. it’s fine.” abblycidre replies “married?!” in all caps. vemovich replies “last i checked we’ve been married for 13 years now, yeah”. end id.]

so i guess the tweet where suppenheimer threatened to divorce vemovich wasn’t a joke after all

[a tweet by suppenheimer from june 2012 that reads “@ vemovich. if you don’t stop ruining dinosaur king i will divorce you.” end id.]

suppenheimer and vemovich have been living together for the entire goddamn run of the dinosaur king remake, while suppenheimer was constantly starting shit about the show online

they’ve been dating since before the show even started, and they got married during season nine, and they’ve just been keeping up those personas for twenty fucking years

and i just kinda don’t know what to do with my life now that i know that

what the fuck did those guys’ home life look like?!

[eruthiawenluin]

For everyone wondering if this is real or not:

Yep, it’s real all right. If you’re interested in learning more about the show itself, I recommend reading through these couple of articles on the series: https://www.fandom.com/articles/dinosaur-king-internal-controversy or, for a more in-depth analysis, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/dinosaur-king_(season_1).

You should give these sources a good read-through either way because in all honesty, OP missed out on some prime groundbreaking material. For example, the fact that this show’s depiction of an ankylosaurus is thought to be the most accurate depiction of ankylosaurs in the 20th Century. Or how those first 2 seasons somehow have the lowest overall score of the series on IMDB and other rating systems, despite the controversy of later seasons (which might not seem like much, but it at least explains why none of the aforementioned petitions had any effect).

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Like yes the marriage Twitter reveal was really something, but it should not overshadow these absolutely mind boggling stats that come from such a niche 90s anime.

[lavender-melancholy]

[genderkoolaid]

like 99% of "men and women are soooo different!!!" comedy is literally just describing the experience of not understanding other people. like it's not that women never say what they mean talking to other people is just like that. it can be hard to understand what other people are thinking. bioessentialism really rots the brain

[genderkoolaid]

"women will say I'm fine and then not mean it" yeah that's something literally everybody does. is this your first time interacting with another human being my guy

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

[genderkoolaid]

this is one of the only funny responses on this hell of a post

[pikaole]

As your wish

[pikaole]

Not today

[dementedgnomicwizard]

today at work this kid (ill call him Kid 1) was having snack w his friend (Kid 2) and kid2 had a kitkat bar. kid1 asked if he could have half and kid2 said no to which kid1 responded verbatim “Kid1 Has Banned Kid2 From Entering Heaven” and it startled me so badly i nearly started crying laughing

[dementedgnomicwizard]

kids are the funniest people in the world when i worked at an elementary school during lunch one day the class unprompted started talking abt what they wanted to be when they grew up and this kid beckoned me over and was like

kid: when i grow up i want to be a cristopoper

me: a what?

kid: a cristopoper

me: i don’t think i know what that is!

kid: it’s a person who comes up with the names for different careers

me: oh, that—

kid: yeah, i just started my career. just now

me: oh my god

like he fucking got me. thats genius. thats a well constructed bit. he was 8

[dementedgnomicwizard]

a few weeks ago a little girl told me she was going to her friend’s house and i asked what they were going to do and she said she didn’t know yet and i said they’d probably figure it out and have fun no matter what and she said “yeah. (pause) life is really a big mystery.” and i was like that is so true

[conk-creet]

i was helping out in the kindergarten class at work and this one kid flipped over his worksheet and upon seeing that there was more work, he said so softly “what the fuck”

[rylandsgrace]

Thank you (x)

[lavendersage]

oh to be a small mouse in a pastoral children’s novel who lives in a hollowed out tree stump and does nothing but collect dewdrops and sweep their doorstep with a feather

[princesskuragina]

Marriage is about having good sex and committing unspeakable acts of violence for one another

[princesskuragina]

"it's about love" yes and love is tearing a man's heart out of his chest and presenting it to your beloved wife because he dared to disrespect her. And then getting absolutely railed.

[yallidarityforever]

[paulthebukkit]

what sick fuck keeps slapping kraft singles onto the pokemon

[marigoos]

Let's do it to the others. I'll start

[valarhalla]

If I have to read Frederick the Great’s personal coffee recipe with my own eyes, so do you