fuck i love my friends @rawbeany - Tumblr Blog

welcometonegrotown

hummingbirdbandit

Professor: You should be teaching yourself the material.

Me: Then why, pray tell, am I paying you?

rightbackheretohauntyou

student: i really don’t understand the material. can you explain it?

professor who also doesn’t understand the material: oh haven’t you heard?

sosospoopy

student: I really don’t understand the material, can you help?

professor over email: read the book

mimeblood

I can’t fucking comprehend that I live in a world where this article was published

officialunitedstates

hey here’s a fact for all of my followers who follow me. butter, ice cream, milk, and cheese all come to us from the same animal. i cant remember which animal it is right now but i know for sure its the same one

cigaretteslutx

Ill give you a hint, it moos

officialunitedstates

thanks yeah it’s the moose

plantsummons

why is the long john silvers parking lot always empty but when you go in theres 30 old people. how

those arent people

Season 5, Episode 12 “Now Who’s the Dummy?”

joosh-actual-deactivated2018092

Power move

prokopetz

If you ever think you have a bad habit of writing yourself into a corner, just remember: after retconning the Minions from being mad science creations from Gru’s lab to being immortal beings from the dawn of time who are driven to obey the world’s most evil monsters, the writers of the Despicable Me franchise were forced to come up with a reason why the Minions wouldn’t have served Hitler. Like, there’s an explicit plot point explaining this.

illness-deactivated20180325

please tell me how they explain this

prokopetz

They spent 150 years in exile in the Arctic as self-imposed penance for accidentally shooting Napoleon with a cannon and consequently missed both World Wars.

trashboat

i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers

trashboat

i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently

necessaryprotection-deactivated

idontreallyfuckwithcheese

#this enrages me every time i see it for the simple fact that john mulaney would have been 15 when princess diana died #which begs the question #if he’s lying #does that mean he did it?

c-rowlesblogs

gay culture is silently tolerating your straight friends being attracted to the ugliest human beings you have ever seen in your goddamn life

parakeet

The idea that Mike wazowski wouldn’t scare kids bc he’s like not traditionally scary is such bs??? like if I woke up and there was a fucking green shortass with one gigantic eye in my room staring at me I’d lose my shit Like there r grown ppl who get nervous when they hear a sound in the night and these monsters think kids won’t be scared by funsize cyclops shrek creepin in their closet get outta here cmon

meowmagica-moved-deactivated201

when we were kids my brother used to be scared that the radiator would turn into a goat. he wasn’t afraid of goats, he was just afraid of the heater being one.

prokopetz

Just saying “I don’t watch TV” sounds pretentious, but there’s a big difference between “I don’t watch TV because I feel that the entertainment of the common masses is beneath me”, and “I don’t watch TV because I’m too busy marathoning YouTube videos of a guy 100% clearing Super Mario 64 without pressing the A button”.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

‘cannibalize the rich’ is a legitimate political platform

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i know this was a post advocating cannibalism but merlin’s beard i just witnessed a murder

faronfarm

what was the advice…….

juliuscaesarofficial

hey you know that trope where a guy ends up being destined to do some great task that a woman spent her whole life preparing for and she must train him until he surpasses her and he eventually beats her while sparring and theres sexual tension?

mulan is that dynamic but reversed

thanks for coming to my ted talk

juliuscaesarofficial

where are my notes yall know im right

agoodcartoon

way to brutally own those imaginary kids

jonbutter

im gonna look up stupid teen fads by decade so i can invalidate anyone’s opinion about gun control no matter how old, b/c apparently thats how things work now

“you grew up in the ‘70s right? your generation took care of pet rocks and ran around naked all the time. i just won the argument”

agoodcartoon

“You sat on flagpoles and stuffed yourself into phonebooths? Well no one cares you won WWII gramps”

the-real-heat-signature

I think there is a difference between a fade and near death stupidity.

jonbutter