fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldnât go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man thatâs an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love
some idiot advisor: I canât believe his majesty lets his boytoy attend these council meetings, itâs an insult to the noble institutions that uphold our nation, itâs an outrageâ
a somewhat smarter advisor: youâre just mad bc he pointed out how dumb your naval attack strategy and no one laughed when you made a mean joke about him
Boytoy has gone from a top fighter who was well respected but in constant danger to wearing silks and eating grapes on daises. That fucked up rotator cuff was the best thing to ever happen to him
Bonus points: at least half the other concubines are experts in assorted fields, the monarch brings them to relevant meetings to both play up a reputation for frivolity, and make sure at least one person there doesnât have an outside agenda.
The kingdom is an absolute monarchy but the harem has become a secret meritocracy. The nobles and official advisors kind of side-eye His Majesty because wow some of these consorts must have likeâŠreally good personalities. Kings of the past have had their own specific tastes of course; size, shape, age, color, et cetera. More than one ruler has interviewed consorts feet first and Ardwin the Adventurousâs obsession - God rest him - with snuffling armpits like a sow rooting for mushrooms is well known despite never being alluded to in polite company.
The worst part of it is that the new king takes at least part of his harem with him everywhere and itâs so embarrassing. The Counselors of War have never once met with His Divine Majesty without that hulking battle-scarred consort interrupting with muttered growls or scornful snorts. And the Ministers of Finance all flinch at the sight of that fox-faced one, rumored to have been rescued from the gallows because His Augustness took a fancy to his eyes or some such nonsense. General petition days are even worse, with practically the entire harem drifting in and out of the Grand Hall in turns, insouciant and smug like granary cats who know theyâve been given full run of the courtyards and barns.
Itâs absolutely infuriating that the kingdom has never before known such a period of peace and prosperity under this ridiculous monarch.
Tag to this - the biggest secret is the Queen who runs the Kingdomâs spy network.
Itâs the envy of all the other Kingdoms around, and not a few nobles!
Not ALL of the Kingdomâs Diplomats are spies. But many of their servants are.
The Queen grew up as a neglected child, and she learned how servants are ignored, but who always know everything that goes on.
Many of the spies are like the Queen - beautiful and seemingly vacuous.
The sp[ies tend to have great fun, and also work closely with the Concubines
#everyone is furious when the king picks his bride #a minor princess! of a minor ally! sheâs not even that pretty or smart or anything! #but at least when the king marries her heâll have to get rid of his harem #or at the VERY LEAST stop FLAUNTING them everywhere #if nothing else her family will object to this insult to her honor
#BUT THEN
#somehow sheâs befrIENDED THE CONCUBINES
#sometimes they follow HER around!! in public!!Â
#the king and queen are  s h a r i n g  t h e  h a r e m
#never has the court been so furious and scandalized all at once #itâs a genuine shock to all of them when ten years later no one has even once tried to overthrow the royal family #(theyâre wrong there have been no less than thirty attempted coups twelve of which nearly succeeded) #(but the harem and the spy network are VERY good at their jobs)
Going wild that people don't know who missy and pranks are!!! y'all didnt go through the dukedontlook and tw deceit discourse!! Y'all never saw the fusion trend from like two years ago??? Y'all cannot UNDERSTAND how I felt knowing I had correctly predicted Janus' name.
BESTIES you weren't HERE for strawberry roman!! you only see the remains of Logan eats books! I hope to every god you never hear about the spaghetti or crofters fics
but there will be no prophesying, speculating, speaking into existence, etc about next year
no âI feel really great about next year,â no âIâd love more time at home to work on my hobbies,â no âsurely it canât be any weirder than 2020,â nothing
THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING TO GET YOUR MEDS BEFORE THE PHARMACIES CLOSE
they are going to be CLOSED OVER THE HOLIDAYS and so will the DOCTORS WHO SIGN YOUR PRESCRIPTIONS.
if you donât have enough meds to last the next THREE WEEKS, put in for your repeats and refills tomorrow! thatâs Wednesday! do it! donât go to hospital at New Year because you ran out of stuff!
and friends who have ADHD meds or other controlled meds - call your doc and ask them what you should do if your stuff needs refilled over the holidays. Donât go without your meds if you can help it, especially over the holidays.
Ok. Brains is asleep so I can legally reblog this again.
Tagging @edupunkn00b @treenissanderssidesstuff @typically-untypical @cultof-medusa and @lost-in-thought-20 because I want you all to suffer with me (affectionate)
âYou cannot escape your destinyâ Janusâ booming voice still ringed in his ears as he hugged his knees to his chest, however little it did to help him calm his nerves.
âYouâre wrong.â The dragon laughed at his answer.
âThatâs rather unlikely. I have been alive for centuries. I know better than to question one's fate.â
âAnd what if I donât?â
âIf you wonât what?â
âAccept my destiny. What if I question it?â
'Refuse your destiny?' The dragon laughed, his voice sending shivers through Virgilâs limbs.âIf only it were that easy to get rid of it, young warlock.â
Virgil's tightened his grip on the torch.
'And what do you know? Why would I care what you think?'
Janus smiled. That sly inseeferable smile of his, as if he was dealing with a petulant child.
'Would you really visit me if you didn't care for my wisdom?'
âYou canât die,â Virgil whispered more to himself than Roman as he pushed the prince locks of his sweaty forehead. The young man was burning up. âYouâre my destiny, weâll figure it out." He said, gently stroking Roman's head as he waited for the water to boil. "Janus is too annoying to be wrong about this.â
This shouldnât have happened. Virgil was supposed to guard Roman. He was supposed to be prepared for an ambush. He had become far too confident in his skills and it was coming back to bite him in the ass.
A rogue sorcerer surprised them on their trip. With the young mage and prince focused on the attacker neither of them spotted his familiar. The small creature creaking at them from the behind and sunk its teeth into Romanâs neck. The prince managed to slay the small beast but it was too late by then, the damage had been done.
The sorcerer didnât stay for long, his mission accomplished he disappeared into the forest, leaving Virgil alone with the wounded man.
The young sorcerer managed to drag his friend into a nearby cave, before setting out to find some herbs to cure him, suddenly very thankful for all the times Logan has sent him out to fetch ingredients for him.
âThere is a quiet power to healingâ The man insisted âYouâll need to learn far more than combat to protect the prince.â
âItâs going to take me years to learn all of thisâ Virgil whined as he flipped through the medical booksâ
âBetter start early thenâ Logan said with a smirk.
Virgil wished he had as much faith in his healing abilities as Logan did.
But most of all he wished Logan was here. He would have known what to do, he would be here to fix the medicine and calm Virgil down. But it was only him racing against the clock, the only sound filling the air were Romanâs chattering teeth mixing with the soft crackling of the fire.Virgil hastily threw the herbs into the boiling pot.
The young mage raised his hand over the small pot, eyes glowing momentary purple as he strengthened the potion with magic. This was his advantage over Logan while making potions, his magic was stronger. He only hoped it would be enough to cure Roman.
Virgil filled a traveling cup with the warm fluid, cooling it down with his magic before slipping his hand under the prince's head.
âPlease donât choke on meâ he muttered to himself as he tipped the cup, trying to get the man to drink. The prince managed to take a few gulps and Virgil prayed it would be enough.
He set the cup aside, shrugging his jacket off and laying it over Roman. It did nothing to stop the prince shivering but it calmed the warlockâs mind a little.There was nothing more he could do but rest and hope the potion worked.
********
Romanâs head hurt as if heâd been out hit with a mace over the head which, with Remus as his fatherâs ward, wasnât exactly an uncommon experience. Did they have a match again? His head felt far too heavy to remember anything. Sluggishly he opened his eyes lids to look around
He found himself staring at and unfamiliar cave ceiling. Memories flooding into his brain. They were patrolling yesterday and were ambushed. Something bit him before Virgil-
Roman shot up, the sudden movement sending a sharp pain through his head. The prince hissed, rubbing his temples and trying to gain focus again.
Virgil sleeping with his back pressed against the cave wall. Roman let out a sigh of relief at the sight of him. He concluded Virgil fended off the sorcerer all on his own, but then again it hardly was a surprise to him. His friend had magic.
He wasnât supposed to know that, but the mage wasnât very good at hiding their abilities. Roman figured it out a few weeks ago, when it was just the two of them sent o a mission.
He caught Virgil using magic in a fight with the corner of his eye. At first he thought he was going crazy. Who in their right mind would use magic in Camelot?
Virgil would.
And the more Roman paid attention the more he noticed. How fast the water boiled, how quickly he cleaned Romanâs armor, how he managed to gather dry wood even after the rain.
It hit him then. How easily Virgil could kill him if he wanted too.
Roman was furious. Terrified. Sorcerers were evil, wicked and cruel and Virgil was one of them.
He needed to keep Camelot save. He needed to tell his father.
Once they returned to the castle Roman strode up to the throne room, burst the door open. He stood there, in front of the king, ready to doom the mage but the words died in his throat.
Sorceresses were evil wicked and Virgil was one of them. But he wasn't any of that. Virgil was a good man.
Why would he cook Roman a warm meal? Clean his armor? Save the prince? Put his life on the line at the smallest of dangers that hung over Camelot?
No. Virgil wanted to keep Camelot safe. And by extension that meant protecting Roman. So the prince did the only logical thing, aid Virgil in hiding his magic from the king.
It wasnât easy. How his father hadnât figured it out yet was beyond him. The need to constantly come up with excuses every time Virgil almost gave himself out was exhausting. He hated pretending he was a moron, but he couldnât tell his father.
He caught all the scared glances Virgil shot his way any time Roman made an excuse to protect his secret, all the while trying not to shift suspicion on any innocent citizens.
He began to slowly understand why Virgil never told him. If word of his abilities got Roman's fatherâŠ.. Well he he feared he wouldn't be seeing either Virgil or the physician ever again.
Roman couldnât imagine how terrifying it must be. To live with and befriend a man who might very well order your execution any day.
Virgil must be one of the bravest men Roman ever encountered. One of the bravest and certainly the dumbest one.
The mage blinked awake, his eyes hazily scanning for Roman. He gave him a sleepy smile and the prince felt his heart swell.
âYouâre awake.â And Roman wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him he knew. He knew Virgil had magic and he would never tell anyone, but just like with his father the words died in his throat.
What if he never saw Virgil again? What if the mage decided it was far too risky if Roman knew and leave Camelot? Leave Roman? He didnât know why Virgil stayed. What Virgil needed to protect so desperately that he continuously put his life in danger. How could he be sure he wouldnât leave?
âRoman?â
âWell I certainly amâ He bit back. âDo you know how long Iâve been waiting for you to wake up?â
âA few minutes?â Asked sleepily.
âA few minutes too long. Now get your lazy ass up, Virgil, we have a long way ahead of us to Camelot. I want to be home before sundown. Father is throwing a feast tonight.â
He caught the mage rolling his eyes, as he stood up.
"Yeah, let's go home"
He wanted nothing more than to tell Virgil he knew. He knew and he appreciated him far more than the mage could ever imagine.
But Virgil was a mage. And a mage had no place in Camelot. So if it'll mean Virgil would get to call the case home Roman could play the clueless moron a little longer.
