i miss the 60s

look i know the url/header is from hitchhikers guide to the galaxy but i couldn't help it I am sick of grimdark batman and will also probably post a disproportionate amount of scarecrow stuff main blog serialparoxysm

[natalieironside]

Idea for a new Batman story: Bruce Wayne reads one of those "Why doesn't Bruce Wayne just use some of his rich money to fix all the bad stuff" internet posts and is like "What the hell, I'll give that a shot" and starts opening a bunch more co-ops and mutual aid societies and whatnot, and then the excitement and action is him trying to dodge the team of CIA assassins who are trying to kill him and have it ruled a suicide. Batman has to figure out a way to stop the GabbaGhoul from poisoning all the cured meats in Gotham or wtf ever bullshit while billionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne is called to testify before HUAC.

[ritzy-biscuit]

Inktober day 11

Scarecrow and his pet crow

[kefna]

My first picture of the year! Here’s poison ivy’s new beach skin

[thats-what-sidhe-said]

BRUCE: I’ve created jobs by keeping Wayne Enterprises in Gotham. I’ve provided scholarships to every employee of my company and I offer them to others as well. I’ve built orphanages and hospitals, including mental health facilities. I’ve provided jobs to ex-felons right out of prison so they can rebuild their lives. I’ve supported pro-reform political candidates and the few honest cops in Gotham City.

BRUCE: It’s going to take time to reform the system and lift this city out of poverty and corruption, so I think I’ll spend my evenings protecting the people who live here. Tonight, I’m going after the criminals preying on the sex workers struggling to make a living in Crime Alley.

BRUCE: And once I’ve kicked some ass, I’ll offer their victims jobs at Wayne Enterprises so they can get off the streets and have stable, safe, legal employment. I’ll pay for any education or training they might need.

ALFRED: Don’t forget your cape, sir.

[brunhiddensmusings]

there was an entire episode of the 90s series ‘the forgotten’ where he personally visits a homeless shelter he funds, discovers some homeless people who frequent it have gone missing, then to find out where they went purposefully pretends to be homeless to be beaten up, captured, and taken to where the other homeless guys were being used as slave labor

he legit willingly submits himself to torture and nearly dies trying to help homeless people, at least one person actually died in this situation he willingly entered then when he gets out straight up has Alfred pull the limousine up with job applications for the guys he was locked up with

-that- is how to batman

[astalitha]

This is reason number two modern cinema doesn’t get Batman.

If you can’t picture your batman as Matches Malone, or getting the ventriloquist into a job at Wayne enterprises, you’re not picturing batman.

(the first test is “Can you picture your batman taking time to comfort a lonely, scared child?”)

[kali-tmblr]

Yeah, it’s a lovely feel-good piece to compensate for all the things he does wrong.

When he offers full scholarships to the college of their choice to every kid who graduates from an inner-city Gotham high school – which ACTUAL millionaires started doing in the 80s and it WORKS to drastically reduce crime – THEN come talk to me about how much good he does. But no, that money has to go for Bat-tires.

[chelonianmobile]

What makes you think he doesn’t, given that he’s fictional and can do whatever?

[kali-tmblr]

Because he’s private property and CAN’T do whatever. That’s been established for decades now. There’s a long and storied list of writers being told what they can’t do with Batman.

[thats-what-sidhe-said]

Gotham Knights 32 (2002)

[glimmerfics]

Damian Wayne is acting weird in this Choose Your Own Adventure. He's way too nice, too happy. So when the Batfamily decides to investigate, the culprit is none other than... you?

Damian Wayne x Reader Choose Your Own Adventure

🔗 READ/PLAY HERE 🎮interactive fanfic "WHO Is He Texting" by nussy_t2lented 📖 Episode 1 of ?

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

Jonathan Crane is the type of person who would purposefully call all video game systems “The Nintendo” just to piss off the other rogues

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Give me less "being kind requires zero effort" and more "being kind is worth the effort it takes."

[stoicsilence]

im so angry

[robot-carl]

Can’t two partners in crime have ONE night out without the bat? 🦇

[creature-lala]

This is like a scene from girl, interrupted- but terrible.

[imactuallysoup]

Eddie talks too much. One can only stand so much of his bullshit

[rowanisawriter]

You can survive your childhood and escape the horror of your parents by creating and existing solely in a rich inner world in which you contain all your thoughts and feelings and this will not have any effect on your relationships as an adult

[ceruleankitkats]

sincerest form of flattery

[comicberks]

#I believe in Battinson

[mortimermcmirestinks]

[mudkipper]

[beardedmrbean]

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

Pros of Living in Gotham:

$15.00 Minimum wage

Nice apartments and a good housing market

LGBT Friendly / Annual LGBT Events

High Possibility of Meeting Batman

A Mayor that actually cares about his city

The finest, kindest, and smartest police force in the country. (and they don’t discriminate against poc, which is a plus)

Possible Cryptid sightings

Bruce Wayne lives there

Cons of Living in Gotham:

Joker

Crazy Villains

High Crime Rate

Did I mention Joker?

The water gets poisoned on a weekly basis

Riddler leaves Question Marks everywhere and once vandalized a school with his riddles

Harley Quinn owns literal hyenas and will take them on walks across the city. They are not potty trained.

Your therapist might turn out to be The Scarecrow

Gang Wars except it’s Villains arguing like children

Huge population of cats, bats, crows and one angry crocodile

Oh yeah…Joker