ADVENTURE IS CALLING...
DO YOU PICK UP THA PHONE
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@real-evil-genius
ADVENTURE IS CALLING...
DO YOU PICK UP THA PHONE
"my life isn't a crime, I'm not one of those people -"
"you sure? new parameters for Those People just dropped. check again."
And if you truly cannot imagine this, if you're convinced that it will never happen to you, consider this one thing.
Would you want scammers to know the state of your loved one's dementia?
Oh. Shit.
"my life isn't a crime, I'm not one of those people -"
"you sure? new parameters for Those People just dropped. check again."
And if you truly cannot imagine this, if you're convinced that it will never happen to you, consider this one thing.
Would you want scammers to know the state of your loved one's dementia?
Oh. Shit.
images: two tweets by stand-up comedian Benny Feldman.
the first picture shows a tweet:
"Don't police comedy" Well. I'm not going to arrest anyone. I'm not even trying to cancel anyone in the 2010s sense of having them lose their job. My goal for comedians who make regressive jokes is for them to change their minds. And for everyone to understand why jokes matter.
the second picture shows a quote retweet. twitter user ChoppedBeef says:
"All I want is for everyone to agree with me"
to which Benny Feldman's response is:
I would like everyone to be not racist instead of racist, yes
end image descriptions.
benny feldman's the man who gave us 'it's just a joke dude. and the joke is just rooted in ideas. that i'm enforcing' and also 'it's just a joke dude. it's just one of the most digestible and powerful forms of persuasive rhetoric my guy'. he posts a lot of his one-liner sets online. he's a very good person to check on occasionally if you're interested in the philosophy of humour.
oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.
hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually
oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.
hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually
“I ain’t reading all that” your brain is rotting and shrinking
Yes, but also, I am begging you on bended knee, paragraph breaks.
Yes, but also, I
am begging you on bended
knee, paragraph breaks.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Some days I feel like I’m 29 feet away from a Japanese radish
fuck y’all for making me google this but also same
I don't see what the-- oh gosh
certified door post
Laser experiment in the Flight Dynamics Laboratory at Patterson Air Force Base, 1978.
found this pic on facebook marketplace thats unintentionally up my alley
everything is divine punishment if youre delusional enough
quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.
Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point
we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough
these are getting weird
"Gotham loves Bruce Wayne" but specifically it's street cart vendors loitering the streets, sometimes at night.
Yeah, Batman is cool. Well, he pays and tips in crumpled bills that usually have some blood or soot on it, is polite to the grandpas, agrees to dropping by their houses to make sure their kids aren't staying up too late or their spouses came home safe.
But nothing beats seeing the Prince of Gotham stumbling out of work, ordering 20 bagels for his gluttonous children and tipping 150% more than the original costs. They ceased thanking him for the programs their family benefits from, knowing he much appreciates seeing photos instead or having extra onions in his shawarma wrap.
Some of them would be acutely aware of the parties that Brucie Wayne goes to because there's at least an 80% chance of him stumbling out drunk and every old man street cart vendor starts mother henning him.
"Mister Wayne, you shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach! 😨"
"Sit up, boy 😠 Good god, you look like a bloody mess."
"Aww, poor kid 🥺" (Bruce is 45 yo man btw) "Here lad. Ice cream. On the house. Yes, yes, tell me all about the last model that dumped you, but please do it while sitting upright."
There have been 17 different occasions in this year alone where Alfred rounds the car around the gala just to see Bruce on the sidewalk, deliriously tipsy, while a circle of cart vendors are gentle parenting him into eating oily foods to get rid of the alcohol.
today i learned that there are cave paintings of bats and i think you all deserve to see them