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Cosmic Funnies
Doug Jones

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Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
d e v o n
Today's Document
Phantogram Three
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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KIROKAZE

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occasionally subtle

Product Placement

shark vs the universe
Fieri Frames
Color Me Curious
Mike Driver
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@reawakened-revenant
wrath
wednesday warmup
I just saw a comment on fb that ran off the misconception that dowries were a sexist subjugation of women for the purposes of buying and selling them like objects, and since this morning I would rather die than engage with a stranger on fb I'm going to talk on here instead about dowries as they were around Jane Austen's era/regency England.
Basically: dowries were an inheritance. It was a way to give a daughter what they would need to live comfortably at the time when they were most likely to need it - leaving their father's care and support and beginning a home elsewhere. In Austen terms we're generally talking about a sum of money, but dowries can also include items for a household like linens and China (goods like this were called a trousseau from at least the 1830s onward). Dowries very materially improved the life of a woman as they were meant to.
looking. at you
Tips for Writing Journalists / Reporters!!
─୨ৎ─ Curiosity is cute, but it’s not enough for a whole character. Why do they need the truth so badly? Maybe they believe information protects people. Maybe they grew up around lies. Maybe they want power after years of feeling ignored. Maybe they’re trying to prove they’re not just “the kid from that small town.” Maybe they ruined someone once by getting a story wrong and now truth feels like a debt. A reporter who digs because “plot” is fine. A reporter who digs because stopping would mean betraying their whole self is better.
─୨ৎ─ The story they publish is never just information. It has ALWAYS consequences. A journalist can expose corruption, save people, ruin careers, destroy families, trigger lawsuits, get someone fired, make someone unsafe, or force a town to admit what it buried. That’s the scary part. They might be right and still cause damage. They might be ethical and still hurt someone. Don’t make journalism feel like “they found the truth, yay.”
─୨ৎ─ Sources are relationships!! A source might be scared, proud, angry, guilty, using the journalist, trying to protect someone, trying to confess without confessing, or giving only the version that makes them look good. Some sources want justice. Some want revenge. Some want attention. Some want to leak one thing while hiding ten others. A good reporter character knows every source has a reason for talking, and that reason matters as much as the information.
─୨ৎ─ Deadlines change the whole mood. A journalist may not have six peaceful weeks to think. They might have four hours, a dying phone, one editor asking for copy, one source ghosting them, and a legal team saying “please do not get us sued today.” Deadline pressure makes people sharper, meaner, faster, sloppier, funnier. Your reporter can care deeply about truth and still make a bad call.
─୨ৎ─ A good editor asks the hard questions: “How do you know?” “Who confirmed this?” “Are we being fair?” “What’s missing?” “Why now?” A bad editor chases clicks, protects powerful friends, or buries stories that matter. An editor can be mentor, antagonist, parent substitute, moral compass, coward, genius, or exhausted adult trying to stop the newsroom from legally exploding. The journalist may write the story, but the editor often decides what survives.
─୨ৎ─ Journalists need proof, not just belief. They can believe the victim. They can know the politician is lying. They can feel the company is hiding something. But publishing requires evidence: documents, records, recordings, witnesses, photos, timelines, data, confirmation.
─୨ৎ─ Local journalism is different from national journalism. A small-town reporter may write about school boards, missing funds, local deaths, restaurant openings, court cases, storms, sports, council meetings, and the mayor’s extremely suspicious nephew. They might know everyone they report on. They might run into a source at the grocery store after publishing something ugly. In local journalism, the story doesn’t disappear after publication. It sits three tables away at breakfast.
─୨ৎ─ Anonymous sources should cost something. Using anonymous sources can protect people, but it also asks the reader to trust the journalist. Why does the source need anonymity? Could they lose their job? Get hurt? Face legal trouble? Are they credible? Do they have evidence? Anonymous sources should create pressure: the journalist knows who said it, but the public doesn’t, and if it’s wrong, the journalist’s name is on the damage.
─୨ৎ─ A journalist’s phone is basically a crime scene. Unread messages from sources. Voice memos. Screenshots. Notes app chaos. A half-written draft. A contact saved under a fake name. Three missed calls from their editor. A recording they keep replaying because something sounds off. Photos of documents taken badly under fluorescent lights. Their phone is their office, evidence locker, anxiety machine, and emotional support rectangle.
─୨ৎ─ Conflict of interest is a big deal. Can they report on a company their sibling works for? A politician they used to date? A school they attended? A criminal case involving their friend? Maybe they disclose it. Maybe their editor removes them from the story. Maybe they hide it because the story matters too much to them. This is perfect plot fuel because the journalist’s desire to be involved can directly clash with professional ethics.
─୨ৎ─ Journalists notice what people avoid saying. A politician says “mistakes were made” instead of “I made mistakes.” A company says “we take this seriously” instead of answering the question. A parent says “she was troubled” instead of “we didn’t believe her.” The language people choose under pressure tells the reporter where to push.
─୨ৎ─ They should have a beat. A beat is the area they cover: politics, crime, culture, sports, health, entertainment, courts, education, business, climate, war, tech, local government. A crime reporter has different sources than a music journalist. A health reporter asks different questions than a gossip columnist. A political reporter knows different lies than a fashion journalist. Pick the beat. It decides their contacts, habits, knowledge, and blind spots.
Enemies to lovers but actually unhinged!!!
⟢ "I don't like you." - "You baked me cookies." - "They're poison cookies." - "They're snickerdoodles." - "Poison snickerdoodles." - "You've had four." - "Building immunity."
⟢ "Stop being nice to me, I have a reputation."
⟢ "I've added you to my list." - "Of?" - "People I dislike." - "Am I top five." - "Top three." - "Honestly where I want to be."
⟢ "You saved my life." - "Don't make it weird." - "You literally jumped in front of a—" - "Don't. Make it. Weird."
⟢ "I brought you medicine." - "Why." - "Because you're sick." - "Let me be sick in peace." - "You were groaning loud enough for the whole building to hear." - "That's called suffering with flair." - "Take the medicine." - "Fine. This changes nothing." - "Obviously." - "I still don't like you." - "Mhm." - "Thank you." - "Don't mention it. Literally ever."
⟢ "You laughed at my joke." - "I did not." - "You did, I heard it." - "That was a cough." - "For three seconds?" - "I have a long cough." - "You're the worst liar I've ever met." - "I hate you." - "You literally just laughed again." - "COUGH."
⟢ "We should kiss just to see if it would be as annoying as everything else about you." - "That's the worst proposition I've ever heard." - "Is that a no." - "It's an I'll think about it." - "...okay." - "Okay." - "So." - "So." - "This is still not me liking you." - "Obviously." - "Just to be clear." - "Crystal." - "Okay." - "Yeah." - "Well." - "Yeah."
⟢ "Stop looking at me like that." - "Like what." - "Like you've figured something out." - "I have figured something out." - "Well stop."
⟢ "My nemesis brought me coffee." - "I'm not your nemesis." - "My nemesis knows my exact order." - "That's called paying attention." - "To your nemesis." - "To someone extremely irritating who I'm forced to spend time with." - "You asked to be partnered with me." - "The point still stands."
⟢ "I don't want to like you." - "How's that going." - "Terribly. You?" - "About the same honestly." - "Great." - "Yeah." - "This is a disaster." - "Complete catastrophe." - "So what do we do." - "I have absolutely no idea." - "Cool cool cool."
⟢ "You're the most annoying person alive." - "Top five things you've said that sounded like I love you."
⟢ "I made you food." - "I'm not eating that." - "Why not." - "Because last week you said you wanted me dead." - "I say a lot of things. I made you soup." - "...is it good." - "Obviously it's good, I made it." - "Fine. This is a ceasefire not a treaty." - "Eat the soup." - "I'm eating it, calm down."
⟢ "Why do you always have to be right." - "I don't always have to be." - "And yet." - "It's a gift really." - "It's incredibly annoying is what it is." - "You're smiling." - "I'm grimacing." - "Adorably." - "Take that back." - "Nope."
⟢ "You remembered my birthday." - "I remember lots of things." - "You got me a cake." - "Cakes are normal." - "It's my favorite flavor." - "I pay attention." - "To me specifically." - "To lots of people." - "Name one other person whose birthday you remembered this year." - "..." - "That's what I thought." - "This proves nothing." - "It proves everything and you know it."
⟢ "I think about you a lot." - "In a I want to destroy you way?" - "Started that way." - "And now." - "Less destroy, more—I don't know. Different." - "Different." - "Yeah." - "That's terrifying." - "I know." - "I also think about you." - "Yeah?" - "Started the same way." - "And now." - "Also different." - "Huh." - "Yeah." - "So." - "So."
Deep Water Prompt #3570
"Quit it!" I shout, shooing the mushroom spirit away from my rapidly decomposing murder victim. It looks shaken, and I thank god I'm wearing gloves as I grab it's wrist. "Did you see something?"
when you compliment or thank someone for being such a good friend to you and they hit you with the "i'm going to totally betray your trust soon and you're making it really difficult not to feel conflicted about it" stare 😂😂
the thing is you gotta milk these relationships for all they're worth because when you're a dog that's going to be euthanised soon in someone's eyes there's almost nothing they won't do for you however ☝️ you may struggle to get them to put aside their ethical hangups to have sex with you. in case you were wondering.
genuinely feels like this sums up so many online interactions
(for the record, madeline is a dual citizen who has lived a lot of time in both the US and the UK, she speaks knowledgeably)
also an important addition from the replies
Hello???? Suggestions????
“but he did [this horrific thing]” i am neither his keeper nor happy with every single decision he makes. Also he is not real
the five homoerotic love languages:
- intimate stabbing
- outright obsession
- confused pining
- "no one knows me like you do"
- lifelong promises that always sound suspiciously like wedding vows
Tips for writing Abandoned Hospitals
✮ The smell arrives before anything visual does. Always before. Decades-old antiseptic that never fully evaporated, black mold, particulate plaster, and something underneath all of that you will not name. Your character detects it from the parking lot. Do not skip this. Writers skip this constantly. Smell is 70% of fear. If your character walks in and immediately describes what they SEE, you have already lost the reader's stomach. Fix it.
✮ Long hospital corridors are acoustic funnels. A door swinging on a corroded hinge forty feet away sounds, physiologically and neurologically, like it is directly behind your character. It is not. But they don't know that yet. And more importantly: they can't immediately tell the difference.
✮ Original floor tiles: white hexagons, many cracked, grout gone grey-black with decades of something. Footsteps echo differently on intact vs. cracked tile. Your character will begin unconsciously stepping around the cracked ones without deciding to. Write it as unconscious. Don't give them the decision.The body knows things the mind hasn't processed.
✮ Nurses' stations have the room call-board still mounted. Metal slots, room numbers, some still containing names on yellowed paper in faded handwriting. Perfectly legible. Your character should read one name specifically. A real first and last name. This is what grounds supernatural dread in human scale. The horror of a ghost is always the horror of the specific person who became one.
✮ Do not have your character open a patient file and find something horrifying written in it. That is lazy and everyone does it. The horror in the file is that it is completely routine: a 54-year-old man admitted for a hip replacement in 1987, three pages of unremarkable medical notes in a nurse's tidy handwriting, then nothing. No discharge date. No transfer. Just nothing. The nothing is the story. Let the reader ask the question. Don't answer it.
✮ Operating theaters are always on upper floors. The surgical table is still there. They never take the table. In real abandoned hospitals, across multiple countries, documented cases: they always leave the table. Your character should wonder why no one took the table. Do not have a character explain why no one took the table. Some questions should stay questions.
✮ The morgue is in the basement. This is always true. The drawer handles are still there. Your character's hand will move toward one of them. Write this as involuntary. The hand goes first. The decision to stop, or not stop, comes second. We don't choose our curiosity; we choose whether to follow it.
✮ The drawers are not all empty. Not because of anything supernatural. Because animals nest in sheltered spaces in abandoned buildings, and a heavy insulated metal drawer that latches shut is extremely sheltered. Your character knows this. They do not think of this until after they've opened one.
Writing is like, 10% writing, and the other 90% is maladaptive daydreaming, making Spotify playlists, drawing your characters, and talking about writing
Which OC?
love love love when a particularly manipulative character is lying off their ass about something and then throws in one hauntingly genuine line