@merthurmicrofic prompt: bound
Word count: 756
Arthur sat by the window in the physician’s chambers, one of Gaius’s heavy tomes detailing varieties of algae and their uses propped open and unread on his lap. The fire crackled easily in its grate, keeping out the cold and cloudless night from the room which had become like their sanctuary on the nights when Gaius was away with a patient. Arthur was watching Merlin, who was standing at Gaius’s workbench, cutting and grinding and mixing herbs, and muttering to himself all the while. The low murmuring voice, the rhythm of the knife on the bench, the quiet shuffle of boots against stone, were like a kind of music to him; the kind that young mothers and nursemaids used to lull fussy infants to sleep, and Arthur felt a warmth settle in his chest, akin to something like peace.
“Come here a moment,” he said suddenly, into the quiet; into the music. He shifted the book off his lap and his stomach swooped.
Merlin turned round, wiping off his hands on a rag. “Okay,” he said, coming over, “But we’ve got to be quick; I really do have to get these remedies done for Gaius,” and he swung his leg over Arthur’s lap.
Arthur accepted the kiss readily, but before Merlin could sink all the way down onto his thighs, Arthur gently pushed him off. “That’s not—I didn’t mean for that.”
“Oh,” Merlin said, looking not exactly put-out, but somewhere in its vicinity. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Well, you’ve been staring at me all night; I thought you maybe wanted to have sex about it.”
“I have not been staring at you.”
Merlin just gave him a pitying sort of look and sat down beside him. Arthur huffed, then he took out from under his thigh, from where it had been burning him, a piece of fine, ivory silk, slightly crinkled from shoving it under himself to keep from bringing it out and toying with it whenever his hands felt too idle.
Merlin looked down at it. “What—"
“I know we can’t—officially speaking, of course—we can’t be—betrothed. Officially. But. I thought—well.” He looked down at the silk, where he was twisting it in his clammy hands. The room was unnaturally quiet; Arthur felt he could hear his own heartbeat thudding in his ears. He looked up to see whether his offer, which had not really been so much an offer as it had been a nauseating expulsion of the terrible longing in him, with his heart laid bare beside it, would be laughed at or politely rejected, and instead was met with a glassy-eyed and brilliant smile.
“You soft bastard. I knew you liked having me around,” Merlin said, thickly.
“No. Why would you think that?”
“Really? ‘Cause it sounded like you were asking me to marry you or something.”
Merlin hummed. Then he held out his hand. “So, how does this work, then?”
“Um,” Arthur said, and fumbled with the silk, which now bore some dark patches from his sweaty grip. He reached out his own hand and took Merlin’s, then with trembling fingers wound the fabric round their joined hands. “Help me tie it,” he said, and they each with their free hand looped the silk into a small knot.
Arthur didn’t know what to do then. There was a buzzing in him. He had only thought ahead as far as getting the question out of him, and now that he had, and their hands like their lives were bound together, he felt his faculties leave him; all he could do was sit and smile at the man across from him, and try to bear the love which was almost unbearable. He felt he should say something, choke out something earnest or significant, but his tongue was too thick for his mouth, and kept him from garbling out whatever saccharine or foolish nonsense he felt looking at the loved face across from him. It hardly mattered. They were saying it instead with their eyes. Arthur hoped his were conveying with a dignified and manly sort of composition that what he wanted most of all was to have Merlin beside him for the rest of his life, but they were a bit wet. Then Merlin said it with his mouth. Not with words, but with the hard press of his lips against Arthur’s. The knot was loose, and the silk fell away as they gripped each other.
The remedies could wait until morning.