Hello :3 I have a headcannons request for the egos, like what's their reaction if reader calls them "daddy" (like the ego do or did stuff that make us calls them that accidentally or unconsciously yk)
I really hope you can add Damien >< (I'm in with him TOO much)
It doesn't matter that you make it sfw or nsfw, I just would love to see your work❤️
of course! of course! coming riiiight up!
what did you just call me?
author's note: okay, so, first off - thank you for requesting Damien because I've been trying to find a way to get more egos on my list of characters I write for and didn't really know how to segue into it, so thanks for giving me the opportunity to do so! secondly, I'm going to preface this by saying that while I did my absolute best to give you the most, I guess, 'serious' answer to this as possible, some of them might come across as more jokey? responses? as in, taking the whole thing as a joke. and them reacting to it as a joke. hopefully that's fine with you! I tried to keep it mostly sfw because I felt like it, but uh- the connotation regarding the nsfw part of it still stands, so I'm going to, overall, mark this as nsfw. sorry if this comes across a bit convoluted, I'm trying to be concise - the point is, hopefully you like this, hopefully it's not too immature, hopefully I nailed what you wanted <3 and sorry if this took a bit long to come out (and sorry if it's a bit shorter than usual, I had a lot of egos to go through)! a lot of things happened in the meantime, fingers crossed this makes the wait worthwhile!! (oh, and I totally understand you with Damien, I mean who isn't down bad for him honestly??)
(also, I really like the whole idea with Damien specifically? if you want me to elaborate on it in a separate ask feel free to send in more, because I am in-trigued)
tw: cursing, nsfw implications, second-hand embarrassment? maybe? mention of murder and body mutilation in Murdock's part
egos included in this ask: Darkiplier, Yancy, Head Engineer! Mark, Actor! Mark, Wilford Warfstache, Illinois, The Host, Heist! Mark, Antisepticeye, Simon (and our newest additions:) Damien, Murderiplier (Murdock), Jim, Date! Mark, Dave Torres, The Drowned Man! Mark
word count: 8931
MINORS DNI
Darkiplier
split on the issue.
when it slips out from you - there's something about them that just clicks, immediately in fight or flight mode as they battle with internal conflict - something that happens so often when you say or do something they did not expect. their eyes will turn into slits then, slowly turning towards you until they face you fully, not saying anything - at least, not until they decided who's in charge more, until the parts of them have battled it out enough for them to actually give a sensible reaction, to feel one feeling instead of so many at once. this is an issue, as it can oftentimes leave you hanging for a minute or so until they actually remember they have to say something back, or in some way acknowledge you again. there are so few things that put Dark off, that, really, this is a triumph! pat yourself on the back, because Dark is quite literally bluescreening. hell, if you listen closely enough, you might even hear some static! (and, if you'd caught them at a particularly vulnerable time, when their emotions are running high and rampant, only to be snuffed out by a single comment - you'll even see their reactions in real time, the many heads of them coming to surface as they take- ghostly? glitching? form, cloning about in several different kinds of reactions, all which dissapear once Dark decides what they actually want to say. it's best if you ignore those, in reality - but damn if it isn't at least a little bit funny.)
if Celine's the one in control, you can expect the worst. or, the best? depending on how you view it. if this is the case, the stare and the stoicism will easily melt off into a kind of contentedness, a kind of self-pleasing victory that sits in their chest, kneading like a cat across the expanse of their suit. they might even include a bit of teasing, if they feel so inclined. a steady 'Pardon?' with a crooked, barely visible smirk and an adjusting of their suit, specifically tugging on their jacket's lapel to settle it back into place where it's getting stretched from a few too many deeply taken breaths. what did you say? they didn't quite catch that. say it again? oh, and if you do? if you don't get all flustered on them, if you're assertive and, well- take what you want? you can expect to be pulled into their lap, heavily, sensually touched at the least, and well- more, uh, intimate things at the most. on average, you'll usually be very passionately kissed all over, or tugged into a private, makeout session until your lips are red, puffy and raw. Dark isn't much for affection, at least not the kind of public displays some may lavish their partner with - those are things more reserved away from the eyes of others. therefore, if you do do it in front of others - expect a cough, a strict look you can only interpret as a displeased one, and a glossing over of the entire incident before returning to the topic at hand. later, if you're alone and you mention it again, they will be stricter with you. you know they don't enjoy those kinds of things in public - why are you being difficult? boundaries are there for a reason. must they remind you, again? but if you're doing it in private? all over you, without question - at least while Celine's in charge, as opposed to Damien.
if Damien's in charge, there are still remnants of Celine in there, don't get it twisted. as there are hints of Damien in the moments of when Celine's in charge, as well. in the cases when Damien wins over, however, all you can expect is confusion. don't get them wrong, they're still... pleased you're interested, but... now? now? right now? you had to do this, right now? what brought this on? what did they do, if they did do something? it's not worry, not quite - Dark's way too confident and assertive to be that insecure, but, well- was there a trigger? if so, they'd like to know. is this something you'd be keen on trying? is this something you're interested in? you should've let them know beforehand. all in all, if Damien's in charge, Dark treats it more like a conversation to be had, almost business-like in their approach. they wouldn't outwardly react positively or negatively to it, no, but you know that underneath all that is some sort of satisfaction, however mild and well covered it may be. this, you can read solely from the fact that there's no questioning of whether you're sure or not, whether this is something that you're lacking, but instead - is this something Dark could work on? is this something extra, something added onto your already existing relationship? it's treated as something additional, something new you could both explore - and better yet, something normal. something that, above all, Dark wants you to be comfortable in before proceeding. it's the assurance provided by both of their sides, mixed perfectly.
in their entirety, though- joke or not, coincidence or not, Dark would actually enjoy exploring something like that with you. but the angle is somewhat different. instead of something, well, to some extent inappropriate or shameful, or even coy in nature, it's just another way of saying 'I want you.', except in this new, unexplored way. or at least, that's how Dark thinks of it. it's just another way of saying you're theirs, fully and truly - and another way they can reassure you in your choice of partner. after all, they can give you anything you want. can't they?
Yancy
well, there's definetly a transitional period there.
you may be very surprised when you first mention this to Yancy, coincidentally or intentionally - because, unfortunately, this just makes him think of fathers, and then of- his father- and then- of his crimes, and oh. oh no. oh no, he's not doing well. he's looking at you in a confused manner, almost frozen in place, but what he's focused on isn't the funny part of it (if it was meant as a joke) or even the, well, more sensual part of it - but instead, the association he has with the word in general just cuts him down entirely. as in, he almost shuts down completely. of course, he tries to play it off, like he usually does - he's not- he's not upset, you see, he's just, ah, surprised! you're so surprising! gosh, he's not- oh. oh, there he goes, stuttering his words. oh no. now he's going partially nonverbal. oh, oh- quickly! say you were joking! oh goodness- hug him, now, hug him-
it takes some getting used to. definetly.
if this is a serious idea you have, something you genuinely want to try with him, you could definetly make it work! it'll just take a bit of trial and error to get there. Yancy's... well, not delicate, but he certainly has a set of triggers, and unfortunately, you've found one! oops. but that's nothing a healthy conversation about boundaries and limits can't fix! if that's what you're into, sure, he can try it - the approach you take is, then, what makes the whole thing a 'make it or break it' kind of situation. the key is to take it slow - explain why you're into it, so he slowly begins to understand, and most importantly, emphasize that it has no tie, whatsoever, to the crimes he committed, nor that you blame him for them, or take them against him. (if you do in general, that relationship is just, not going to work. I'm sorry.) separating these two is extremely important. only then, after he's comfortable with you enough, can you really attempt it. and oh, if you suceed at these? you're in for a treat.
once he realizes what you mean by it, once he gets the idea - sure, he can play it up for you! if it's a joke, he'll lean even further into it, teasing you and coaxing out responses from you until you're beet red, trying to admit what you wanted- if it's a genuine thing for you, well he can- certainly try to be accomodating. (though even then, he'll be pretty soft witcha. don't expect much in terms of immediate responsiveness from him, since he'll be a bit unsure of how to approach it, even if he's pretending to be super competent at it. just take it slow.) if it was a slip-up? uh, he can forget about it, if you want. but only if you want to! he doesn't want you forcing yourself away from it if he's willing to have a serious conversation about it. why would you shy away from something that makes it all click for you? c'mon, talk to him.
just don't be super forceful, and if you really want to make it a whole thing, be patient with the guy. and hey, if it's something you want to forget as soon as possible, he's right there with you, too. lips sealed. don't worry about it, dollface, he didn't hear aaaaanything.
Head Engineer! Mark
uh, Captain, are you feeling alright, there?
as you're coughing and sputtering out of embarrassment of letting it slip by without intending to, he's all over you. what did you say? what was that? seriously, you're not going to tell him? c'mon, Captain, he's your Engineer! y'know you can tell him anything, right? even the super embarrassing stuff! he'll start talking your ear off about things he did to make you more comfortable with fessing up - small secrets, tidbits, personality quirks (most of which you knew already, seeing as he is wearing his heart on his sleeve most of the time, but he doesn't need to know that). if you end up telling him, what awaits you is silence as his skintone slowly changes, boiling over into a deep, beet red. wha- C-Captain! you can't say things like that! do you even know- what- that means?? of course you do, you're like, super smart and all, but- Captain! how- what- huh?? he's so flustered he can barely get the words out. seriously, at some point he'll probably escape the conversation with some excuse about 'oh the warpcore needs looking at' or 'I haven't checked in with Burt yet today', literally anything to just flee the room (something that is rare by itself - he's usually glued to your side as much as humanly possible. or, at least, as much as is polite, under reasonable circumstances. it kind of feels strange, not having him by your side.)
now, you could take advantage of this, if you so choose.
as a joke, this can turn into a beyond hilarious situation - if you are the teasing type, of course. any time you mention it, if even a little, he'll flinch violently, suddenly either dropping whatever tool he was using or doing something similarly clumsy - spilling coffee all over his overalls, completely missing the part of the wall he was going to lean onto, tripping over invisible steps - really, anything you could think of. of course, you'll make sure to get him to the infirmary if he injures himself, but he's blushing heavily all the while. but at the end of the day, he'll return the favor just as feverishly - visiting you in your Captain's quarters as he interrogates you - what the heck was that? Captain, seriously, he holds a lot of respect for you - but, but - you can't just confuse him like that! he has a job to do! you can't- just- aaaagh! you can be so frustrating, y'know? but like, he doesn't like you any less, but just, ugh, y'know?
this is the perfect opportunity to corner him, if you are actually serious about your offer. press him against the wall a little, get a bit too deep into his bubble - and repeat it. until he melts, or until he gets so flustered he turns annoyed, and then all the reason's out of the metaphorical window. that's- you can't- do that, Captain! what the hell?? that's so- and then you mention how he must be blushing because he likes it, and everything falls silent while he ponders that notion.
conclusion: he doesn't mind it to the point it angers him, but he struggles with being teased and with taking a dominant role in the whole conversation regarding it, especially because of your own rank. just be careful not to overstep, if you tend to toe the line. sometimes you can be a bit much, Captain.
(if you'd rather forget about it, though, he won't mention it, either. he will look at you strangely for the few weeks after it, and maybe, just maybe - if you're lucky, he'll ask you why you did it and then just quit immediately, which is when you can have a proper conversation with him about it. surprisingly, he's actually really okay with it (and even more so with trying it, if you're that serious about it - anything for his Captain), as long as it's talked about prior. he does still have the tendency of blushing whenever you bring it up, though, in public or in private, doesn't matter.)
Actor! Mark
speaking of teasing.
fully gets into it and knows exactly what you mean - even if you don't mean what he thinks you do? it's a joke, you assure him as he slowly, menacingly backs you up into the nearest wall - just a joke! but not to him, because oh, aren't you just darling? firstly, he sees it as a way to exploit you, so to say? it's an opportunity to tease the hell out of you - what did you say? oh, really, now? why don't you explain - exactly - why that would be in any way an appropriate joke to say? or, if you're serious, why exactly that's something you're into? c'mon. he's going to find out either way, so it's best if you fess up now. (in great, excruciating detail.)
immediately assumes the most depraved option. it's not the most unusual thing he's heard, though - since he comes from an era where people are used to experimenting with stranger nicknames and petnames - but is this really the road you want to go down? is this really how you want people to know you call him, even as a joke? my, isn't that embarrassing, little darling? and he so loves to see you squirm in your spot as you try to think of an excuse. he'll mention it often, especially after it transpired - doesn't care if it's in public or not, either. you'll hear nonchalant notions like, 'What was that that you called me x days ago?' or, 'Mmm, you didn't say that before. Why don't you try again?', or, (the most uncomfortable one, especially if you did it unintentionally and/or as a joke), 'Come sit on daddy's lap, won't you, gorgeous?' (that physically hurt to write, holy shit- but he would. he would.). this man has no shame whatsoever. like, not even a smidge. he's sitting there, smug as ever, grinning like he's the Chesire Cat incarnate. oh, and if you try and run away from him? try and escape the horrid feelings of the utter and complete need for the ground to swallow you whole (whether that makes you, khm, excited or embarrassed)? no, no, you're not going a. ny. where. he'll pull you towards him forcefully, make you sit there, pressing up against him, while he repeats it over, and over and over again, addressing himself in third person, playing with your clothing or hair while you hide your face behind the palms of your hands, the heat permeating through you like a pulsating wave, like you're at such a level of ripeness your cheeks might just explode and burst open.
do not even attempt to test this man, and if you can - pay close attention to your own words/actions as to not provoke him. trust that he will not let it go, not ever. even if you say you're embarrassed, asking him to stop mentioning it - honey, you're just adding fuel to the flame, just stroking his ego even further. for your own sake, try to hold yourself back. he loves the power it gives him way too much to leave you be.
Wilford Warfstache
stops in the middle of the conversation to let the word linger, but carries on as per usual in a matter of seconds.
being someone who originated from the 1920s (just like the Actor, or Damien), he's heard of people calling each other strange things - hell, he calls his good friends 'bully', still! he knows he's out of the loop a little, what with his age, and- wait- what year is it again? ah, whatever. he'll usually sweep off to the side, and won't adress it really, afterwards. instead, he'll just accept it! cool, you have a new petname for him? he can roll with it, cupcake, don't worry your cute little head about it! (he'll even cradle your face while reassuring you, patting your cheeks as he leans his hands against them as if he's trying to say 'there, there.' while you look on at him, utterly confused.) immediately takes to calling himself that, too, in your presence (as a third person kind of addressing). if you're embarrassed in any way, shape or form, you'll really have to drag him to the side to explain exactly why you feel that way, and even then- what, did he misunderstand something? you were so clear about it! but, well- if you have boundaries, he gets it. (he will still slip up sometimes. he kind of likes it, actually, and that's a fact that either horrifies you more and more as he continues to slip up, or makes situations awkward, more than they could ever be. thankfully for you - no one really bats an eye to what Wil does/says these days, and even better if you're someone who'd be embarrassed by the fact - they'll probably assume it was his idea. which, it kind of is? the lines get blurry fast. and they'll probably assume you're uncomfortable with it, and will shed pitying glances your way - that is, if they care about you at all.)
don't get him wrong, though - he knows exactly why that kind of thing would be considered dirty. but come on, chick - there have been worse things people have called each other in a loving sense, with less of the whole, sensuality of it, y'know? he trusts you. why wouldn't he be able to experiment with you in the same way? but oh- if you meant it as a joke, he'll catch on, too. if anything, Wilford knows how people react, what they mean. he'd been around waaay too many people not to be able to catch onto hidden meanings by now, and if you're joking? he plays it up, too! the difference lies in the kinds of situations he uses it - if it's serious, he can bring it up in the most mundane situations, even going as far as to refer to himself as that during breakfast or something (making you spit out your coffee), but if you're joking it's usually in situations where it's meant as a joke, where he's trying to appear lax when threatening someone, or while he's relaxed and having a good time (probably at a party or something, knowing him). he really, he has to admit, likes the whole domineering, power couple vibe it can bring to any situation. even then, he'll say it with his usual mannerisms, so it's kind of hard to say, at least when you ask someone who doesn't know him fully, to know whether he's joking or not - but a little chuckle here and there will probably give him away. he can't help it, especially when he sees you biting your lip as to not laugh yourself. literal partners in crime, and the joke is on everyone else.
Illinois
what? you- uh, um- s-sure. yeah, okay. let's go with that.
does it feed his ego? yes. does it also make the whole thing awkward as hell? also yes. as in, as soon as you say it, he's choking on his words, turning to the side while he lets out a violent series of coughs, trying to get back to his senses. literally, you've shocked this man so badly he's dropped his entire character, his entire persona. congrats!
but why is that? because even while he's trying to grapple with the fact of- what did you just say? - he still can't deny it doesn't spark something in him. not specifically anything, well, naughty, or at least not fully, he thinks? it's moreso a compliment to him, albeit a really weird one, in his opinion. you think he has any characteristics to be caring, or you're confirming for him that he's just - that hot? oh holy hell. that is a stroke to his ego he never thought he'd experience. after a coughing fit, he'll probably go back to the topic at hand without mentioning it, but... he can't lie, he'll be thinking about it later. he won't exactly say anything to you, as in, you'll never really have the conversation of 'what was that?' unless you yourself push it (in which case he'll even try to play dumb, only remarking that it must've been something else that made him react like that). so, he'll just, kind of - wait for you to mention it again? at the very least he will never refer to himself as that. he'll maybe, maybe, once throw in a joke about it if he finds himself in a situation where he has to display those kinds of qualities (like taking care of a child, for example - where he'll offhandedly mention something like, 'Well, you did imply I had the skills for it.'), but only once. he may blush behind closed doors about it later, ruminating over what your own reaction to that was like.
as a joke? yeah, he- uh- totally caught onto that one. absolutely. didn't make him feel any kind of way or nothing, nope. or so he says as he tries, awkwardly, to laugh it off. (please, a part of him begs, don't make it into a joke. this man needs reassurance that he still gets you going, as much as he knows he's like, the most wanted man alive.) it doesn't really work, as the whole conversation just falls flat. he won't mention it to you again after.
The Host
is he reciting the entirety of a smut novel to you?
as it slips out, the whole room seems to shift in tone. the Host, well- he isn't usually one for jokes, and even if he is, it takes a well-placed ambience and a good introduction for it to occur, something just between you and him, hiding beneath the pages. but now? he's speechless. it's both an odd mixture of shock and helplessness - what the hell is he supposed to do with that? the Host isn't used to being teased - everything is usually so plainly clear between the two of you, that even when he's reading between the lines, you're perfectly, crystal clear. now he doesn't know what to do. now, he's just looking at you as if you're alien to him, before he does the only other thing he can, he knows best: he narrates.
he narrates every emotion coursing through him at that exact moment - the confusion, the anticipation for a resolution, the bafflement, the perplexity of it all - basically, he lays it out like a criminal case, as if he were a detective attempting to solve it. even as you're tugging on his arm all the while, trying to distract him ('Hey, it was just a joke, y'know! I didn't mean it, can you- stop it, please?'), he treats it just like that - a distraction. no, he has to get into your head - why would you say something like that? even accidentally, why is that your first thought? (it gets even worse when he, aloud, starts referencing all the erotica literature he'd seen - which is not much, he'll be fair - and cross-examining it with facts he knows about you, trying to make sense of it by tying them together.) if he can find the cause? great. moving on. he's figured it out, and he can be at peace now. if you need something like that from him, if he thinks it's something you'd want to try - sure, you can have a nice, civilized, diplomatic discussion about it. only then will he value your opinion and actually sit down to listen to you before jumping to conclusions - though, not before he's made his own assumptions first. if he can't? literally spirals. in the sense of, he's stuck in that loop until you give him a reason, which can be very embarrassing for you, or put him in a very split state if you don't exactly know the reason why you did it.
all in all, it can be a very good trick to have if you want him to literally stop whatever he's doing to try and figure it out, but be wary of the fact that he will be thinking out loud about it, unintentionally spilling secrets you'd only told him along the way. if that's out of the question, then try to not to let it happen, or try to distract him by any other means. at the end of the day, of course, if you're serious about trying it - of course he can, at the very least, have a conversation with you about it, weighing in your own opinion, as well as the pros and cons. you're adults, after all, why wouldn't you be able to talk it out? just don't expect him to stop talking about it as he's thinking - just, give him a minute.
Heist! Mark
surprisingly, the only deadpan, serious one.
as soon as you say it, he's halting whatever he's doing with a perplexed expression - and by that I mean, literally frozen. holding something in his hand, moving it from place to place? now it's literally being held in midair as he tries to process the information just alloted to him. you're- what- what did you say? is this a new joke you're pulling? or, like, a new trick you can use during your next heist? should he be concerned or are you pushing some new act on him he should try and be a part of?
again, he's one of the only ones whose personality literally switches off immediately. even if it was a joke, he's so confused that there's literally no room in his brain for anything else. he almost becomes parental - straightening up his back, laying a hand on your shoulder, swift but strict, eyes squinted, turning to you, 'Are you doing okay?' it's so out of character for him, it's you who's concerned, now. he gives off the exact vibe of 'We'll talk about this at home.', so much so that you actually think you'd made some sort of transgression here. unintentionally, he can build up a lot of anxiety in a person with this kind of response. but he doesn't mean it, honestly! it's literally beyond his control how shocked he is.
only when you catually do talk about it, sit down all serious and responsible, only when you explain yourself to him properly, and he really does force you a bit to spill the beans - can he really sit there and have an actual reaction... which is of course, him being smug as all hell. so, you think of him like that, do you? huh, of course you do., he remarks as he looks off to the side, smile crooked where it stretches across his face, trying to be the most charming version of himself he can (it's not obvious at all that you would think of him like that in general.) well, he guesses you can try it, if you're serious about it- and if you don't, if you want to just forget about the whole thing? oh, c'mon! he was getting into it! damn it. well, he guesses he can respect it. but- if you ever change your mind, you know where he is, don't you? (if you're joking, he doesn't care either way. he's way too busy being into it himself to register it as an actual joke. oops?)
Antisepticeye
one of the many things you should call him, actually. (or at least, that's what he thinks.)
now, this really depends on how far and how deeply under his control you are. if we're talking about you being somewhere near the beginning - that is, not really influenced by him whatsoever, maybe scared of him, if anything, then yeah, it's very weird that you would call him that? as in, it throws him off his game a bit, but not enough to actually rattle him. this would most likely occur as a type of fawn response to your own fear, and to him. (read: fawn response is a type of "response to a threat by becoming more appealing to the threat", according to Psychology Today) essentially, just you scrambling around trying not to be absolutely obliterated by this monster of a... well I was going to say man, but he isn't a man, not really? the earlier into the relationship this happens, the more put off he is about it - to the point he might even ignore it if this is maybe the second or third time you're meeting?
but if you're deeper into your... "relationship", so to say, he's fully accepting of it. even if you mean it as a joke - your entire existence is a joke to him, so it means very little in terms of whether he takes it seriously or not. but he will take it seriously, that you can trust. in terms of how he views himself compared to you, he might even be worse than the Actor, fully believing that you are beneath him in every and all forms, and that you are someone who is meant to be controlled. that you can't survive on your own, and the best chance you have at it is fully surrendering yourself to him. he'll stop for a second or two once you say it, halting just to process, before he another one of his famous smirks makes its way onto his face. oh, you want to play like that? sure, he can oblige. why not? if you're aware enough to call him that, accidentally or not, of your own volition - well, that just means he's not doing enough to 'put you under', so to speak - under himself, status-wise, that is. you're meant to be drooling at his feet, unable to even stand unless he decides you should, unless he's being kind enough to help you along. but even then... maybe all you're good for is crawling beneath him. it's a tough choice.
if you're fully under his control, now that's a different story. Anti wants to experiment with you - he has to be able to walk, talk, and know humans inside and out to adapt as quickly as possible, to capture better, faster. and as much as he hates stooping down to your level, even if it's only for pretend - he can admit it's extremely funny whenever you actually fall for his tricks. seriously, how stupid can you be? (you and every other human.) and while he can gather a lot of information just from being online, he needs you - something he loathes to admit - for the more... physical parts. and if he's already using you, giving you a purpose, well... why can't he have a little fun with it? you are his puppet, after all - you dance when he wants you to. so calling him something like that, or master, or calling out any other position where you demean your own existence - that's funny as all hell to him. even to the point where he'll make you do it just for the sake of it, just to drill it into whatever part of the brain you've got that's not under his control yet. oh, but soon, dollie. soon.
he is your god, is he not? it's only fair.
Simon the Convict
uh, what? what's that?
fully stumped. not in the way of, 'oh, what did you say? why did you say it? that's so dirty, eeeugh-' no, this man genuinely has no idea what you're talking about. as in, the only father he's ever known has been, well, Father! and do you really think, amongst all else, that kinks are something you can indulge in in Eden, let alone, the prisons at the C.O.I.? absolutely not. he's literally trying to survive. thinking about sex, at all, is something waaaay beyond his scope of thinking, as in, it's not even a part of his day to day unless he has a partner or is safe enough in all other areas (resources, food, water, etc.) to even have that need. the apocalypse does that to a man, y'know?
but there's some benefit in that, too. it depends on whether or not you tell him what it means, joke or not. you can either, a) lie to him (which would be funny, but if he found out, he'd very much be angry with you after. not angry enough to break up or anything, but you would be sleeping on the metaphorical or literal couch for the next week or so) or b) tell him the truth.
if you opt to lie to him, you could, technically get away with saying it more often. it could be a joke between you and the others, (referencing my own Simon universe in here as part of the compound, inspired by that of RandomWriter28) your coworkers most likely, as you keep calling him that as you would any other nickname. if this is something you did accidentally, and not as a joke, though, and you choose to lie to him - well, it depends whether he'd find out or not. he could ask someone about it, but I doubt he would. Simon strikes me more as a guy who, if you don't tell him outright what something means, just assumes it isn't important anyways. I mean, why would you lie to him? you're his partner! (sprinkle some salt on the wound, why dont'cha) the other possibility would be if someone else did the same or similar thing, or if it came up as a topic of conversation amongst his own coworkers. then, if he did find out, he'd probably just offhandedly mention it when you're alone, moreso in the style of 'I know what that word means now, just letting you know.' but I doubt he'd make a big deal out of it. he knows that it's sort of an intimate thing now, and he gets you'd be kind of embarrassed, so he leaves it be. that is, unless you decide you'd want to get deeper into it, leading to a more serious conversation.
that leads us to option b) telling him the truth. if you do admit it, whether you meant it as a joke or said it accidentally, he'd be confused, of course, asking you to elaborate. he'd listen to your explanation thoroughly - after all, this is enough to make you embarrassed to some degree, so it must hold at least some weight. if you said it as a joke, he'll most likely, again, let it go with a thoughtful 'Hm.' as he turns back to whatever he was doing before. if you decide you want to be more serious about it though, explaining it as something you'd want to try, he'd definetly at least listen to you and try it out once, at a later date. especially if this is something that's important to you. even then though - he'd mainly be doing it for you. again, he'd never really been the type to think about the intricacies of intercourse - in his brain, it's all you. you're hot, you're his partner. what else does he need to get him going? but if you genuinely try it and it well, sparks something in you... sure, you can try it again. and again. and again. as long as he can stare at your face as he makes you feel good. as long as you keep making that expression.
in general though, he's very lax about it. you don't want to talk about it? got it. you want to talk about it, try it? also got it. just don't lie to him. don't make him look stupid.
Damien
you think he's all shy and flushed, but he's just acting coy. he knows what you're on about.
as the Mayor, Damien needs to be super composed, serious, gentlemanly - but that doesn't mean he didn't do... things... when he was younger. doesn't mean he has no experience. of course, he knows what you're talking about, but he isn't really keen on admitting it. it could hurt his reputation, you know? yes, he knows that most of his friends are worse off than that in terms of how they view it, yes, he knows being more relaxed about his, well, sexuality could bring in more people, paint him as more approachable, and honest- but it's a risk he's not really willing to take.
if you call him it accidentally, especially in public or something, very quick to end the conversation and pull you to the side, chastizing you lightly. what was that about?? do you even know what you're saying? goodness, dear- just, don't do that again. and take a couple of minutes, cool off. walking back to the conversation without you, he'll shake his head in disappointment after he makes up some excuse in your stead to the people you were talking to or diverts the conversation entirely. if you did it when you were alone? completely red in the face, and will either go silent, too shy to speak, or change the subject completely to something else, as if he's never heard it. but, oh, being closed doors? man is shaking like a leaf.
with Damien, it's always the nice Mayor, the friendly Mayor, the one who's willing to listen to anyone. but with you? when he looks at you - god, it's like he's a highschooler all over again. just hearing those words coming out of your mouth... and he knows, he knows you're not all sunshine and rainbows yourself. in fact, you might be even more openly talkative about such subjects than he is, but, damn it- he really, really likes that. won't ever admit it, though, not to you, not to anyone. playing the innocent, insecure, knight in shining armour persona's so rooted in him that he can't help it, but even as he's partially disgusted with himself, he knows he's horrid underneath. not a bad person, not necessarily, but- worse than you in terms of how depraved he can be. worse than most people he knows, and regarding that? he's highly insecure. even if you joke about it with him, even if you just tease him, he'll deny it till the end of his days. it'll take a substantial amount of work, weeks to months of talking about it over and over again, asking him, pleading with him - that is, if you intend to do something serious with what you're asking. and when he agrees? you're not even sure who he was in the first place.
don't push him too hard. you might uncover things you never could've expected.
Murdock
what's that? oh- yeah, okay. mhm, sure, but- tell him something first: which knife do you think will do the job better, this one or that one?
Murdock loves you, he really does. that's something he can say with ease - you're his apprentice, after all, and he doesn't spill his secrets to just anyone. when you slip up like that, though - he can't help but dismiss you, if even lightly. most of the time you spend together is spent planning your next kill, or performing one, so even as you joke around with him- he can't really focus on you right now. not when there's a screaming victim in front of him. you get it, right? and pass him that gag, won't you?
now, that isn't to say he has no reaction whatsoever. the man just loves his job a bit too much! or well. 'job'. if you could call it that. but he thinks about it while he's attempting to gauge the woman's eyes out as cleanly as possible. how should he react to it, once he has no choice to do anything but look at you? if it was a joke, sure, he can joke with you. even give you a sarcastic or not laugh before he shifts your attention over to the scalpel you're handing him. but if it was a slip-up? he really doesn't know, he thinks as he cuts the body up, digging into the skin with a knife from his personal collection, making sure to preserve the fingers as he goes. in the end, he decides to focus on the victim more than anything, hoping it'll clear his mind enough to figure out what to say. (you can see it in the intensity behind his eyes. the gears turning, the calculations running. in the sweat dripping across his brow, hyperfocused on the body.)
when he's wiping down his tools after, your gaze barely lingering on him for more than two seconds, he realizes the answer is actually quite simple. you pushed it, didn't you? or, well- you had it on your mind. and who is he not to indulge you? after all, you'd been so attentive afterwards, been such good help recently. all good students deserve a reward from time to time, no? so he'll slink over to you, trapping you in place with your chin locked in between his fingers as he rises it for your eyes to meet yours. come again? would you like to repeat what you said before? (god, especially as the scent of blood still lingers in the air, splashed across your face in the same streak from where it spurted out of that main artery. you were so precise, and so, so filthy. he adores you, you know?) if you want something serious, if you want something from that - do tell him. be good, c'mon. he'll make all your dreams come true, just tell him what he wants to hear.
(and if you're attempting to gloss over it? not a chance. not with him. maybe he won't address it right then, right there - but eventually, he will. eventually, all of your consequences catch up to you, and you'll have to be clear with him.)
Jim
wait- hold on there- just, wait a second-
immediately pulling out his microphone. what did you expect? if you're lucky, you'll get a few seconds, closer to a minute, before you're blasted with questions. is this a new trend among people of your generation? is this something that's popular online? (is this something you've told anyone else before?) really, it's almost overbearing, what with the lights that are pointed in your direction and all. you're usually used to being the one behind the camera for him (or, them?) so to say this kind of reaction is strange is beyond you. you're shy, twiddling your fingers, tugging at your collar - but Jim? having the time of his life. he's discovering new things about his partner! he's seeing them in a whole new light, and- most important of all - he has a new topic to divulge in. hold on, he'll come back to you once he does more research, just- just hold on!
if you tell him it's all a joke, you can risk getting him in hot water. with who, you ask? uhhhh, himself? the other Jims? but he gets all sopping wet, all droopy and sad with a little 'oh.' at the end. he was really excited to interview you! you, like, never get to be in front of the camera! even if this was a bit niche - that makes it all the more interesting! and he gets to talk more about his partner! oh, and now it's all ruined. you can easily make him feel better (if you choose to) by redirecting the subject or returning to it. sure, you guess, if it makes him feel better, you can talk about it. or something else equally as interesting to him - like, your favorite food, or the newest things you found online! really, anything about you is considered valuable news. you're like, the most interesting person in the world to him! how could such talent be wasted behind the camera?! (not that you're not a good cameraperson, no, he's not saying that. your footage is much better than when he's behind it, actually.)
if it was a slip-up? don't worry, he can tell you're into it. in fact, let him tell you all the fun facts about it! let's see, where should he start... (overall, could not care less about how 'dirty' or whatever it is. everything and anything regarding information about you, to him, as previously stated, is interesting enough to have lenghty conversations about - preferably in an interview, unless you're way too shy. if you want something serious with him about it, sure, he can try! just uh, let him research it first. and, and, a proper interview beforehand? please?)
Date! Mark
I mean, as long as you're into it, so is he.
this man is so eager to please you he'd literally agree to anything you say. well, as long as you're nice about it. you're joking about it? he's laughing, even if it is a bit forceful, because, like - that's a bit intimate, but okay! he guesses! whatever floats your boat! you're like, super pretty when you're laughing, anyways, so- he's not complaining, even if he doesn't fully understand it.
if it's a slip-up? already there to tell you that hey, it's fine, it's alright, that's like, the most normal thing he's heard regarding kinks, (he's lying, at least on the whole front of 'what he's heard'. based on his personality, you doubt he's talking to people about these sorts of things. you can tell he's lying. besides, if he's not- what else has he heard that's weirder than that?? you're beginning to question his tastes, seriously.) and he's completely understanding of it. people like what they like, right? and like, he's kind of flattered you think of him in that way? you think he's strong, and handsome, and like, hot? that's hot. no, um, he means- that's uh- that's really attractive! yeah! that's- oh god, he's tugging at his collar. um, he's really glad you like him, that's all he means.
furiously researches it when he's alone, but he won't really admit it? as in, he's not going to come bragging to you about how he knows everything about it now, but he'll nudge you this way and that about it. you know what you said the other day, even if you didn't mean to? oh, well- uh- if you wanted to talk about it more seriously, if you wanted to, like- think about it more seriously, maybe even, (he's nervous as all hell, sweating through the shirt underneath his jacket) try it with him? he's down. or whatever. to, um, trying it. if you are. if not, that's okay too! he'll just forget about it. yeap! all done! poof, gone! (he's not forgetting about it anytime soon.)
Dave Torres
uh, thanks?
this man is so sleep deprived he thinks he's hallucinating you saying it, so- joke or not, it makes little to no difference. I mean, if you really wanna joke with him about it, you'll have to repeat it to him several times until he catches on, but even then the joke loses its funny effect after you'd said it so many times, so at most what you'll get is an 'oh.' and a tint to his cheeks. he's flattered, really, but uh, you really think so? you really, um, put him in that category? wow. he doesn't know what to say. he's not used to people relying on him in that way, or being dominant, anyhow - he really likes taking care of people, instead, but the implication still stands. as much as he is embarrassed a bit, he's also glad, in a weird way. at least you're still attracted to him, even if he's a bit of a mess.
if it's a slip-up and you don't repeat it back to him? you have a 50-50 shot he'll just ignore it and think his brain's acting up again. surely, you didn't say that, that'd be kind of silly., he mutters as he convinces himself it's not worth pushing you around about it, scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly. but the other 50 percent is him bugging you about it. what did you say? seriously, c'mon. he'll only relent if he sees you're really adamant about keeping it secret, so he'll ask again later. but he is really curious about it, and you know that when Dave's curious about something concerning the people that he loves, he doesn't really give up on it - no matter how small it is. you can rely on him, and be weird with him, y'know. can't be worse than what he's told you. if you do say it, reiterating how weird it may or may not sound to him, he's immediately reassuring you. no, seriously, it's okay. he's not weirded out at all. it's just, a bit surprising - but a good kind of surprise, trust him! at least, he doesn't think any less of you for it. he's got his own weirdness to him, again, so you're more than fine.
(if you mention wanting to be serious about trying it or something? he's a bit insecure, sure, but overall, he'd be down. just, uh, if he's not doing a good job - you'll tell him, right? and uh, if he can't, perform that well, you can- you're going to tell him? he's allowed to stop if he doesn't, think it's his thing? yeah? okay, whew. not that he probably would, even if he thinks he's doing an awful job. as long as he sees you're into it, that'll probably encourage him enough to go on. if he's really uncomfortable, he'll talk to you later about it, after you'd fully tried it out.)
The Drowned Man! Mark
okay... and?
regardless of whether you're joking or not - nothing is a joke to him. nothing, especially in the presence of ghouls, demons, ghosts - hey, are you recording? straighten up!
if it was meant to be a joke, during recording or not, he'll chastize you about being unprofessional. ghost hunting is a serious profession, don't you know that? god, makes sense why your other show failed. (fully ignoring the fact his did too.) if you're outside of the property that's being haunted, not recording, he won't chastize you for joking, per se... but he will fully take it in stride and treat it as a normal thing. should he start calling you the same? you think that's funny? I mean, it kind of is. but you know how serious he is! don't forget that, okay?
if it's a slip-up, he's more keen on it, dragging it further along. no, repeat that. what did you say? c'mon, speak up. you're so eager to talk every time you're behind that camera of yours, you might as well. what, did you think it was a compliment? or did a spirit talk through you? no, no, tell him. even as you squirm under his attention, dismiss him, he'll press it further with a completely straight face. treats it like a fact more than like a secret, or something intimate. and if you do tell him, which you'll have to eventually to try and get him off your back- huh, that's it? oh. okay. and completely turns to the side, telling you to grab your camera before you head out. it seems like he doesn't care, especially when you start believing he intends to use it as blackmail, sharing it around with the same tone with which you regard the weather, but if you genuinely ask it of him as your partner, ask him to try it?
he fully gets into the role, with the same fervor with which he leads his show. total 180. all he needed was to be asked, and well. if you promise to be silent the next episode, let him do his thing without any interruptions... he'll even go easier, or harsher on you, whichever you prefer. deal?
