I Am Not Cookie Dough

The varied ramblings of a neurodivergent queer leftist — What even is my gender? I don't know and I don't care. Pronouns (loosely ordered by preference): it/it/its/its/itself, she/her/her/hers/herself, fae/fae/faer/faes/faeself — I would rather not share my real name so call me Red — I try to tag NSFW content – I tag long posts with "long but amusing/(sorta/very) important" for filtering purposes — If reblogs aren't disabled on a post it's okay to reblog — White, adult legally but not spiritually, de facto ex-Mormon — Semi professional saxophonist, mostly tenor and bari, and amateur composer — Apparently incapable of understanding satire — Constantly hitting the post limit — Bigots and exclusionists get instantly blocked

[cannotunsee]

May the 4th be with You: A Poem for Star Wars Day

[inkskinned]

my brother got covid because he's a college professor and there's not much he can do to mitigate exposure when he has 200+ students per lecture. he's got a baby at home, so he does his best, but.

the governmental website for covid information is now propaganda. not a joke, not hyperbole, not an exaggeration: it's genuinely the definition of propaganda. this is biased misinformation determined to push a political stance. it is being hosted on a government server. it looks like something you'd find in a "top 10 weird internet conspiracy stories (and their origins)" youtube video.

my brother called me when he saw it. he had me type it into google. for a second i legitimately thought that i had typed something wrong. we have both taught college: we have both said "a .gov site is usually a reliable resource." i just stared at my phone for a long, long time.

i thought about how when i was a kid, conspiracy theories were mostly fun and a little spooky. unserious. i remember reading some long, complicated website about how avril lavigne is dead. how bigfoot is real. it used to be funny-and-a-joke.

over seven million people (globally) have died from covid. america has the highest death rate with over 1.2 million people.

the thing is - every time a person dies from something like a mass shooting or poverty or treatable illness - we are told don't make it political. we are told it's just something that can happen. we are told it's sad but what can you do!

the president of the united states is using a government website to try to erase the very-real deaths that he personally caused due to a complete mismanagement of the pandemic. the president of the united states is using a government server to host propaganda, undermine science and medicine, and encourage distrust amongst his followers.

nothing is going to happen. nobody's gonna, like, do anything about it. it's a thursday today, and we are just going to move on from this like we have been moving on from everything else.

yesterday my brother was outside walking his dog, mask included. a guy in a truck pulls up and shouts something about covid and whatever the fuck else. my brother has a good sense of humor, described it to me as enthusiastic! i hadn't ever been catcalled before, this was new and therefore thrilling! i do see why you hate it, though. like. i have actual covid, does he want me to cough on him?

my brother doesn't get extra time off work anymore, because the cdc practically doesn't exist. my brother said i'm not exposing 200 students to covid. his boss shrugged and said: who cares? they're going to get it eventually anyway. like it isn't a pandemic.

like it's just a fucking thursday, and who cares about it.

[fifthnormani]

I do want you to know that there are people who are trying to do something about it. Even if they are a drop in the bucket, they exist.

They are The People's CDC (they are a nonprofit who have 0 affiliation with the real CDC). I'm subscribed to their emails and they keep me updated, as best they can with their limited resources, on the spread of Covid as well as Calls To Action. This morning, at 11:30 AM, they had a virtual Press Conference to discuss the current attacks on science and what they can do about it. I unfortunately missed that one, but yeah.

[spacelazarwolf]

we are living in an episode of black mirror jesus christ.

[foreveriallyzombified]

every single server with a “vent channel” is awkward, creepy and toxic so i came up with the idea of a “medical status” channel which i didn’t even have to write rules for everyone just read my mind and is perfectly using it as intended and hopefully it speaks for itself

[stealingpotatoes]

life can't be that bad when there's still cat and other assorted creatures

[genderkoolaid]

im waging war on mint flavoring being the standard for all dental supplies, to the point where no one ever thinks to ASK whether or not you are okay with mint. i fucking hate mint. its sensory hell for me. we have the technology for toothpaste and floss and mouthwash to be flavored differently or not at all and YET!!!!!!!!!!!!! im sick of this world's pro-mint agenda.

[genderkoolaid]

also I want to make something crystal clear. I do not need non-mint toothpaste recommendations. I have been autistic and hating mint for years. I know that these products exist, which is why I mentioned them in this post.

My point is that I go to the dentist, and no one even asks if I'm fine with mint or not, they just put it in my mouth. I get free floss from my dentist which I won't use because it's mint flavored and I have to use the non-flavored floss that I bought and they could very easily buy as well. And even if you go out of your way to ask for non-mint options, your dentist may not have any because they just assume everyone will be fine with mint. My prescription high-fluoride toothpaste ONLY COMES IN MINT.

I do not need non-mint product recommendations, dentists do.

[genderkoolaid]

As appreciated as this information is (and it is!), I need y'all to appreciate the absurdity that I got this ask at the exact same time as that one:

It IS good that there are fruit flavors. But it also really emphasizes the problem I'm talking about that so many people who are prescribed high fluoride toothpaste either do not know there are non-mint options, and those who DO frequently have to struggle to get it.

[brosser-les-dents]

I got tagged in this and I've been thinking real hard about it. This blog has sorta been a "please don't be ashamed about trying kids dental products" sort of account.

But this 100% makes me feel we gotta go further.

I never buy mint toothpaste now. And if I can, I avoid it for all other dental care products.

I was at the dentist recently and instead of just taking whatever toothpaste she gave me, I asked her for what they give out to kids. When they asked me what flavour rinse I wanted, I made sure to ask for non mint.

I'm thinking that for everyone else, if you're not super attached to mint, start asking for the non mint alternatives. And when you go shopping, give the non mint toothpastes a go. Even if mint doesn't bother you.

Maybe if enough of us go out and purchase non mint things, even periodically, companies will start to put out more non mint alternatives. And pharmacies will make sure to stock not mint items.

Anyhow, just a thought.

Remember to brush and floss, friends!

[genderkoolaid]

This is such a good idea!!! I absolutely support people who are fine with mint going out of their way to ask for non-mint products. Its a great way to push for more accessibility for people with allergies and sensory issues (and just general dislike for mint!)

More people should also discuss avoiding dental hygiene because of the primacy of mint as well. I've seen quite a few people mention mint allergies and sensitivities mention that it has affected their ability to care for their teeth, and that's been true of my own experiences as well. We need more people to realize there is not just demand, but that promoting dental hygiene means improving accessibility.

[mixupmycota]

I am allergic to both mint and artificial strawberry flavouring so it can be imagined the state of hell i am in all the time with dental products.

i had no idea i had those allergies for the majority of my life, i just knew that brushing my teeth was torturous, made my gums inflame and bleed profusely no matter how regular i am with it, and made it harder to breathe. A full brushing with mint toothpaste makes me vomit.

For anyone else with issues like this: any form of brushing and rinsing is better than no brushing at all. I have a connective tissue disorder that also can leave my teeth wobbly in their sockets - especially when my gums used to be so regularly inflamed. My dentist advised using a washcloth to gently rub down each tooth, then rinsing at the end. When we can't get the alternative toothpastes, it works as a stopgap.

[huariqueje]

Pool # 27 -  Ann Goldberg , 2016.

Canadian , b. 1970s

Oil on canvas , 30 x 48 in.

[scouts-cosplays]

OIL PAINTING.

[hya-ichor]

[cacodaemonia]

I found lots more on the artist's website, and then came across Percy in the Pool, which almost did me in 🥺🧡

[jessebloom]

some crazy good fanfic in my google docs. whatever guy started writing it i hope he finishes it

[libraford]

-siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh-

[libraford]

Please stop quoting the Lorax at the people removing Bradford Pear trees.

[kadharonon]

...yeah, that's. hm. that's sure a level of lack of knowledge about flora on their part, huh.

[aetherograph]

"I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues, "And I'm asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs: "Stop planting invasives, they're tacky, they're smelly "They're sticky and messy, they fill folks' noses with jelly! "Stop planting the Bradfords, the gums, the juglone! "Stop planting the Eucalyptus--that colourful fire-bomb!

"Please!" said the Lorax, eyes full of tears, "I haven't seen Chestnut in many long years! "I haven't seen Sycamore, the Sequoias are wee, "And as for old Pando, that marvellous tree "You've built a great fence right across his fine face! "You've split him in pieces--as though it's your place!

"If the trees were there first, then--yes--leave them be! "But those no-good invasives planted well after me! "They were planted by settlers, who razed the land first!" And he jumped up and down, "They're truly the worst! "So chop down that Bradford, and chop it down good! "And plant there a native that you always should

"Have left alone in the first place!" And so saying, he Picked up my axe and he chopped down that tree! And he gave me a seed, and said, "Treat him with care! "Feed him clean water, give him fresh air! "Grow a forest. Protect them from axes that hack. Then the Lorax and all of his friends may come back."

(with apologies to Dr Seuss)

[cumaeansibyl]

people talking about “forced diversity” like characters being PoC or LGBT or disabled “for no reason” like

are people in real life PoC or LGBT or disabled for a reason

do these critics run up to people on the street like WHY ARE YOU BLACK

[cumaeansibyl]

this post is nearly ten years old and unfortunately the government is now out here asking anyone with a halfway decent job WHY ARE YOU BLACK

[catsbeaversandducks]

Via @korvys​ (Twitter)

[cornistasiathecoblinking]

I’m glad humans evolved to Boop the Snoot for Good Luck.

[headspace-hotel]

glowing as though holy

[partywithponies]

Me, refusing to leave tumblr: sir, this is my emotional support hellsite

beepboop. censorbot approved

[partywithponies]

“Me, refusing to leave: sir, this is my emotional hell” is a funnier text post than my original one, good job censorbot.

[terriblelizbians]

hello, future tumblr! this is what we thought was funny in december 2018.

[cannon-fannon]

We still think it’s funny in December 2019

[jehanneargentee]

We still think it’s funny in December 2020

[thbn-anything]

We still think it’s funny in December 2021

[iceslushii]

we still think its funny in december 2022

we still think it’s funny in December 2023

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Only Our Bodies Can Leave

The spirit remains eternally (at least five years)

[shylokvakarian]

Achievement Unlocked:

Forever And A Day

Yup, still funny after 6 years…

[pointless-achievements]

hey pal it’s april. you got a time machine?

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you got a time machine

[wiremothers-deactivated20230129]

[sword-over-water]

Grand Lotus Sokka and Chief Katara.

My take on the older water siblings, the prides and joys of the Southern Water Tribe.

Commission info

[stjohnstarling]

Running a last minute spell check before sending out the review copies and boy I sure am glad I did because HOW did this HAPPEN??

[stjohnstarling]

Retiring to my bedchambed-frameber forever goodbye.

[beakofcandles]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

goombye

[teaboot]

We need to have places like bars where instead of only 18+ year olds allowed in it’s ONLY people who had fucked up childhoods so we can joke about it without running into a surprise normal who gets all sad and weird

[teaboot]

One time in college I was joking around with a classmate and she told me “I’m gonna beat you with a stick” and I was like “Dad? 🥺” and she got all shocked and shit. Like no you don’t understand, that was hilarious. I was hilarious

Felt like pouring a fine aged brandy down a toilet tbh

[teaboot]

ASDFGFYJFUJGJJK

[kindofabastard]

I think we should put 'transmasc invisibility' up on the shelf until people understand that it's not a privilege to be invisible just because hypervisibility is bad as well. Until then, I'm gonna call it what it is – transmasc erasure.

[fall-of-efrafa]

i think even if you want to argue trans men have no oppression unique to them, having a tag like 'transandrophobia' or 'transmisandry' is still inherently useful to find information about the ways that trans men are effected by transphobia when otherwise 99% of discourse only talks about how trans women are effected by transphobia, with little to no mention of trans men at all. if you can just search 'transandrophobia' and find that information, then the word itself has done positive for discussions about transphobia. to say otherwise is to think trans men shouldn't talk about transphobia

[a-polite-melody]

Yeah, when people claim we should just be using the word transphobia when we talk about our oppression it speaks to the exact issue we’re trying to combat in making a word to highlight the effects felt by trans men and mascs when we are in a position of invisibility from erasure.