[cluelessrebel1988]

I made a thing

[achillesinhighheels]

[hyrude]

the author’s barely disguised job they worked in their early 20s

[twinkwolf]

[lleyksie]

let’s be primitive horses with mama

[saturnvs]

guided safely towards the end of yet another year

[joeyclaire]

i fucking love tumblr on new years i scroll past a glittertext gif wishing me a happy 2002 i scroll past my mutual wishing me a happy 2018 i scroll past a gifset wishing me a happy 2013 i scroll p

[scribbleshark]

happy 1915 everyone!

[fandom-trash-goblin]

we've got a life to love living.

[shittymoviedetails]

Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone

[orgyporgy]

The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that’s also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn’t borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a “police officer” which is why Kevin doesn’t trust the cops. I’m so tired of the ignorance. The slander.

[foxyclock]

FINALLY we’ve reached the time of year for home alone discourse

[hypokeimena]

#he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing (via @hotcrossedfangs) 

[christopher-bryant]

home alone is just die hard for kids

[godsperm]

He also stole that toothbrush so was even more scared to call the police in case they arrest him for theft too

[syntactition]

Kevin knew that ACAB ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[violetwolfraven]

Keep in mind that the robbers could have turned around and left at any time. Kevin set up the traps, but they didn’t have to walk into them. They could’ve left and robbed an easier house, but didn’t because they wanted to get the 8-year-old who was beating their asses. At some point, it stopped being about stealing the McCallisters’ stuff and started being about killing Kevin, at which point Kevin was justified in doing whatever the hell he wanted to them.

[magic-owl]

Skdhsjdhsk okay Home Alone discourse? xD I recognize this is a joke but I’m jumping into the shark pit regardless because I just love this movie and wanna talk about it so HERE GOES

Lol so yeah actually the phone line argument is a bit confusing because yeah the phones are down at first, but they obviously were fixed at some point since his family tried to call him from the airport in Paris or later on he wouldn’t be able to order pizzas or call the cops from his house at the end of the whole attempted robbery night, so there IS the question of why Kevin’s family doesn’t keep trying to call him daily.

HOWEVER, as people have already mentioned, Kevin thinks he’s a criminal due to stealing a toothbrush and has already been chased by a cop, he’s not gonna contact the police about the robbers.

Calling the police about his family leaving him? He’s not gonna do that because he doesn’t KNOW they’re in Paris, Kevin believes he magically wished his family out of existence the night before they left after they were all right dicks to him. He doesn’t know they have the power to come back, that’s why he asks Santa to return them later on, what use is telling the cops who (in his eyes) will probably blame him for it?

Also ppl be criticizing him for the booby traps like this isn’t the THIRD time Kevin’s had to chase these guys off his property? First he tried to fake a house party, they still came back, he tried to fake a MURDER, they spied on him and declared they were coming back again. Kevin’s given them two nonviolent chances to leave his house alone, they’re the grown men deciding they’re gonna come back and rob a house they KNOW has an eight year old in it. They announce their presence by knocking and taunting that they know he’s alone and “helpless” in there and that they’re coming in anyway, what their original plans for dealing with him were, we don’t know. After they spring his first traps, their plan switches from robbing the house to specifically harming Kevin in revenge.

These guys are trespassing on Kevin’s property AGAIN after multiple warnings, and they’ve announced themselves with a declaration of intent to harm him, he can’t call the police or they’ll discover he vanished his family and committed toothbrush crimes, Kevin needed to defend himself and he had FULL RIGHT to do so however he saw fit (which all proved entirely necessary seeing as literally nothing he threw at these men actually stopped them from trying to hurt him, they kept coming until his neighbor saved him)

Respect Kevin 2kforever 😤😤😤

[neurospicy-offical]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame where you at

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

I told my grandma about this one

[blunderpuff]

Illinois Chapter 720. Criminal Offenses Section 5/7-2. Read the code on FindLaw

§ 7-2. Use of force in defense of dwelling. (a) A person is justified in the use of force against another when and to the extent that he reasonably believes that such conduct is necessary to prevent or terminate such other’s unlawful entry into or attack upon a dwelling. However, he is justified in the use of force which is intended or likely to cause death or great bodily harm only if: (1) The entry is made or attempted in a violent, riotous, or tumultuous manner, and he reasonably believes that such force is necessary to prevent an assault upon, or offer of personal violence to, him or another then in the dwelling, or (2) He reasonably believes that such force is necessary to prevent the commission of a felony in the dwelling. (b) In no case shall any act involving the use of force justified under this Section give rise to any claim or liability brought by or on behalf of any person acting within the definition of “aggressor” set forth in Section 7-4 of this Article, or the estate, spouse, or other family member of such a person, against the person or estate of the person using such justified force, unless the use of force involves willful or wanton misconduct.

Some felonies in Illinois (the MacAllister house is located in a Chicago suburb):

Class X:

Armed robbery (they have a crowbar)

Aggravated kidnapping

Class 1:

Burglary

Theft of up to $100,000

Class 2:

Burglary (theft of items from an empty house)

Kidnapping

Robbery (theft of items when homeowners are present)

Theft of over $500 (we don’t know what they were there to steal, but they picked only enormous mansions, so…)

The Wet Bandits are out there committing Class 2 Felonies (which carry sentences up to 7 years in prison) and then they encounter Kevin… and ramp it up to Class X felonies (which carry a minimum sentence of 6 years in prison, but up to 30– which they’d probably get, considering the person in the home is a child). Also, since Marv is vandalizing all the houses they hit (by stopping up the drains and turning on the water)… vandalism of that scale is also a Felony, which carries prison time and hella fines.

tl, dr: Kevin could have killed them both, and would have faced no legal repercussions. They had it coming.

[cilantrhoes]

[pjharvey]

it’s so funny when people online act like women reading trashy romance novels is like. a new phenomenon and a sign of the downfall of society bc this has never been a thing before. this has been an extremely popular genre of book for ages. the only difference now is that they’re written by women who wanted to fuck kylo ren. which i guess is annoying. out of every man in star wars like be so serious. they had harrison ford in those movies

[bleachersgirl]

awesome

[gyrovagi]

(smugly) actually all narration is unreliable because language can only ever communicate through approximation

[rosenkranz-does-things]

it's that time of year again

[bleachersgirl]

awesome

[artkiddies]

Canadians, did you know your tax dollars are funding an operation that is currently inducing mass hysteria to innocent people all over the world?

[bleachersgirl]

awesome